Soliloquy's Fall 2007 recruitment

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

The problem is...you may know her personality, what she's done and other stuff about her, but you DO NOT KNOW that she will "make a great asset". You don't know little stuff - some people sound GREAT on paper or online, but in real life they're incredibly annoying and self-centered. [Not that she necessarily is...but YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.] Someone who has a high GPA and many activities and positions on her resume does NOT a good member make. And THAT is the key.

And, the problem with telling them that they'll make a great asset to a sorority is that for girls who will NEVER fit into the greek system, it only encourages them to keep trying and keep trying and keep trying...and keep failing. I don't know if you've ever read the "Weird Rush" stories, but there are definitely some about girls who keep going through and going through and going through and NEVER getting bids, because even though they think they're perfect for it and Mommy and those nice girls on the internet tell them that they're great assets and should do it again and again, they don't realize that maybe Greek life isn't for them. Maybe if someone had sat down that girl and said, "You need to seriously reconsider never rushing again, because Greek life is NOT for everyone", then they wouldn't get that heartbreak over and over again.

If Soliloquy gets cut from all 4 sororities again, are you STILL going to say that she would make a great asset? What if she rushes again and gets cut completely again? Unless you're prepared to tell her that all those horrible chapter sisters at her school are so bad and wrong for cutting her not matter HOW many times she rushes, [since that's basically what you're saying, that you don't trust their judgment] then you should not say it in the first place.

And in case that last part was unclear, any girl who rushes multiple times and does not get a bid is probably not a good fit for Greek life. I trust my sisters to make decisions, and I would NEVER head over to any other chapter and tell them, "You made a HUGE mistake cutting this girl!" especially if I didn't know her in person or before recruitment. We simply need to trust their judgment.



To the OP: Please don't take what I said above as an attack on you, because it isn't. There ARE women who fall through the cracks, and if you're one of them, then you should be fine when you re-rush. This is less about you than it is about people making misleading promises. Even if you don't take them like that, others will. Good luck with recruitment, and let us know how it goes.

So what your saying is that if a woman does not receive a bid to a sorority, then obviously she has nothing to offer and could not be a good asset to a group! I completely disagree. Do you really think that meeting someone for 10 minutes at a recruitment party gives you anymore insight into a PNM than talking to someone several times through PNMs in a less pressured and superficial situation? We all know there are many, many great women who never make it into the system for one reason or another. The number of psychos like you mentioned in the Weird Rush Stories thread are the exception not the rule! Not to mention, self centered people often do make good chapter members as well. You'll never find a chapter filled with only down to earth, 4.0, mothering types who would rather do for you than do for themselves! I am completely opposed to the idea that Soliloquy isn't WORTHY because she didn't get a bid...that is ridiculous and disrespectful to a woman you obviously don't know any better than I do! I don't think the sorority members at her school are bad, they just may not see that she would be a great asset (yes, I'll say great asset, because strong leaders are a great asset!) Of course, there may be something in Soliloquy's history that is keeping her out, but that often isn't reasonable either. Recruitment is not perfect, we all say it, so don't act like a PNM must be trash or unworthy if it doesn't work out for her. And...NO, I wouldn't recommend that she try and try and try to get in, but I definitely would recommend that she at least give it one more try. Last time I checked, we give that advice to PNMs on a twice daily basis at GC!

[Benzgirl]

I agree that trying a second time is a very good idea. I would caution that the OP did not rush as a Freshman, which makes her a second semester Sophomore (or higher based on her credit hours). With her being in the south, we all know how difficult it is to get a bid when you are a Junior.

If the Soliloquy is going to try again, it will need to be soon, and she needn't focus on her accomplishments which she acknowledged that she did during Formal. If something does come around, she should try again but this time let her personality show through. There is nothing wrong with us to encourage it; the OP knows it will be more difficult the second time around.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I have to say I completely agree with you there, OTW! I can't believe how PSYCHO people can be on this site...the recent case of an outing was unfortunate and unfair considering the girl was no more judgemental than I'm sure 98% of the other PNMs are! I would definitely be hesitent to post anything until after the fact given the history of this site!!

I just want to point out that as far as that "outing" was concerned, it was done by someone in their FIRST post...NOT a longtime GC member. It was shitty, no doubt, but blaming it on people who post frequently on GC isn't fair.

As far as fantASTic's post, I don't see where she said anyone was or wasn't "worthy" - just that they might not be a good fit for Greek life and they shouldn't be told they'd be a great asset when they should really stop trying. Maybe rush parties are short, but once someone goes through formal twice and cob 3 times...I would say the chapter's had time enough to get to know her. Those are the people fantASTic is talking about. It's like they think they can "wear them down" - that the sorority will get so tired of seeing them at rush parties that they'll say "oh whatever, let's give her a bid."

"Can we have a pool, Dad?"

"Can we have a pool, Dad?"

"Can we have a pool, Dad?"

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

don't act like a PNM must be trash or unworthy

Hey hey hey, now, I haven't seen one post that even slightly referred to Soliloquy or any PNM as "trash" or "unworthy". Don't put defamatory words in people's mouths that just don't happen to agree with you.

we give that advice to PNMs on a twice daily basis at GC!

That depends entirely on who you define as "we".

[kddani]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Maybe rush parties are short, but once someone goes through formal twice and cob 3 times...I would say the chapter's had time enough to get to know her.

And people seem to think that rush is the only time anyone in the chapter has spoken or gotten to know these girls in any way. To use OP as an example, she rushed as a sophomore and already knew people in the groups. It's not like they knew her in the rush vacuum.

[nittanyalum]

Ok, nittanyalum is big meanie, I'll say it first.

Here are highlights from the OP's own story:

• They want me to have a successful rush, even if I do not end up at their house, because they are so confident that I would be a great sorority woman.
• Farra: A girl I've had a few classes with. She's in my classification and plans on rushing this year. She pretty much thinks she has a guaranteed bid from 311 or Damone since she hangs out with them so frequently. I like the girl a lot, but I am worried that she is relying too heavily on her friendships - without considering all of the other girls who give their input during MS.
  
  Ada: A member of 311 who has been incredibly supportive of everything I have done on campus. She really wants me to join her house and is pulling for me big-time!
  
  Raine: Another good friend of mine in Damone. I saw Raine a few days ago and told her my intentions of going through recruitment. She gave me a big hug and got incredibly excited. She thinks I will do wonderfully and find my home, even if it is not with her GLO. But she definitely would like to see me with her!
  
  Gemma: A friend who is a member of Alexisonfire. She had to disaffiliate for recruitment purposes since she is a member of Panhellenic. I saw her at the Panhellenic tea and she was estatic to see me! She even had me talk to some of the girls there about my interest in joining a sorority and what it has been like to see the girls on campus for an entire year. I suppose I answered very well because she was beaming, along with the rest of the members in Panhellenic. She also thinks I am going to do great and find a home among our 4 great sororities.
  
  Cadence: One of my best friends. She's helped get me far in many organizaitons and is one of my biggest supporters. I told her a few days ago about my upcoming recruitment and she was beyond thrilled. She's offered some great advice so far and is going to arrange for me to meet more sisters (of her org and others) when she gets back from her vacation.
• I also have all of my outfits together and they are just too cute. Thank you everyone again that gave me all of that valuable input! Due to finances I wasn't able to get any of the dresses I posted, but your opinions definitely helped me while I was shopping.
• It's official! I've secured a single rec to every house! The alums are just waiting for me to mail my info along with pictures. I considered getting 2 for every house, but I'm thinking that will be overkill. Especially since recruitment isn't terribly competitive here and as I've already mentioned, recs aren't necessary. I'm not sure about other PNM's and their recs, but I do know of a few fellow sophmores going through and they don't have any. So this may turn out to be a great advantage for me and a wonderful way to get introduced to the sororities on my campus. A rec for each house definitely calms my nerves a bit for some reason... haha. I'm getting my hair cut today, followed by a fun photoshoot with a good friend of mine.
• I hate to sound smug, but I felt like the star of my group. I had girls complimenting on my name, my outfit, saying they've heard of me etc. At one point I was in the center of a circle with like 7 girls around me!
• Also, a very active alum of 311 called me today! She heard about me through the grapevine and wanted to offer any help she could. We get along wonderfully and I can totally see her as a mentor. I wish she were still an active so she could be my big sis. Anyway, she just wanted to wish me luck, offer an ear of support, and let me know that she would be submitting a rec for me. Talk about a suprise!
• I glanced around and I was one of the only ones who had 3 actives rushing me!
• I seriously think like 5 girls I know came up to me to say hello. They were beaming and just so excited to see me there. I got some hugs, which I know isn't supposed to happen- but they couldn't help it and I'm pretty sure no one in my rush group was offended by it...Another friend of mine grabbed my hand on the way out and gave me a huge thumbs up.
• The girl I started off with recognized me from my campus achivements and we had a great convo. I was bumped to another girl who I also had a lot of fun talking to. We were just acting goofy and laughing! I have to say that they had the most coordinated dances for their songs. My friends there tried so hard to catch my attention during the songs to wave. I finally caught the silent "PST! SOLILOQUY!!!" whispers to wave back!
• My goal today was to make the girls laugh! Let them know they have no reason to be nervous around me and of course to let myself shine. I feel like I did a good job staying true to myself and sticking to those goals. I had a great time and no matter what, I am having so much fun! I also was sure to address a very important issue in every house that was very well-recieved.
• I was picked up by a well-known girl on campus and we sat down to make our craft. I picked an object that was associated with my name and colored it the best I could considering I was more focused on making conversation! I felt like it went pretty smoothly. I expressed interest in holding an office and re-iterated my campus involvement. I also mentioned that I already had volunteer experience with their philanthropy and enjoyed doing it. Another girl joined us shortly after and all three of us had a pretty good convo.
• The girl that picked me up was super nice. We had an awesome conversation about everything from campus involvement, future aspirations, and of course my special situations. Another girl joined us, Damone VP, and I got along with her just as well! They both seemed impressed by my drive.
• She gave me a great deal of info about their philanthropy and asked me about my views on it. Their philanthropy is something I am interested in as well and she knew that I had already worked with another organization to create a rally for it.
• I had a pretty good convo with the girl. It seemed a bit forced and she was a little too enthusiastic about me. I had never met her before, so I didn't know if it was an act or what. Another girl joined in and it was more of the same 'ol. She's actually the little sis of a good friend of mine, who stopped by to give me a hug and say hello! I had a pretty good time, but really didn't know what to think. Especially after they both gave me hugs and seemed so stoked about me.
• What?! No Damone?! I was shocked into tears! I couldn't believe I got cut from a house that I had come to dearly like in the past two days, especially after the conversations I had today. I felt like I did everything right!! I knew so many girls and felt so welcomed.
• I am also more then willing to give Copeland another shot. However, I think at this point I would really like to pref at 311 and Alexisonfire. I do know that if I get cut from 311 tomorrow night I will be a devestated mess. I hope that won't happen and I will do whatever I can tomorrow to make sure it doesn't!!!!
• I was cut from 311 and Alexisonfire. The cuts don't make any sense. I was rushed again by the president at 311 today, only to get cut. My eyes welled up when I saw that the only pref I was invited to tomorrow was Copeland. A sorority that I am very very unsure about. I don't know if I can handle going to prefs tomorrow seeing all the girls lining up outside of 311 and Alexisonfire. I thought I did well at both and left feeling so confident!
• However, I am going to suck it up and go. I want to see what Copeland has to say and if they can convince me that this is where I need to be. Fate has a funny way of telling you your purpose, and maybe mine is to help Copeland rebuild. I'll try my best to keep an open mind during the party. I did have fun there today and liked the girls who rushed me today much moreso then previous days. I enjoyed their skit and found myself genuinely laughing. Their chant has also been stuck in my head all day long. Seriously. I can't get it out. I also know a lot of girls who may be in my pledge class that I adore... I won't settle, but I will give them a fair chance. I won't take a bid away from a girl that desperately wants Copeland just because I want to be greek, but if they suddenly work their way into my heart tomorrow- I will accept their bid.
• "Marilyn" said how excited she was that I chose to come back. She also said that all 6 girls who rushed me the past few days were fighting over who got to pref me today. I felt adored. Marilyn pulled the hometown card and ended up "winning me," as she put it.
• Marilyn walked me out and started to cry as she said, "I really hope I get to see you at bid-night." She gave me a big hug and I walked out of the door. I couldn't believe that time had passed so quickly. I couldn't believe that not once during their ceremony did I think of 311 or Alexisonfire. I went to sign my pref card and was certain that God knew where I belonged the entire time; and that my dear friend who died, was definitely watching over me.
• Thanks for all of the well-wishes ladies, but I did not get a bid to Copeland. I gave it my best.
• I went into recruitment respecting every chapter, and I still do. I am just terribly hurt from the rejection. There were many girls who pleged tonight with lower GPA's then mine and whose activities couldn't hold a candle to what I have accomplished. I think that is what is bothering me the most....
• I think my biggest mistake throughout rush was, as someone pointed out, relying too heavily on my accomplishments and not enough on my personality. I suppose it was something to fall back on due to my slight shyness, I know I know... me, shy? pft! But it's true. I can be!
• Most of you might be disappointed to find out that I was told why I was cut from 2 of the 4 houses. The reasons make sense to me and I am already taking the steps to dismiss the fears of the few who voted no against me. Ah, the disadvantages to already being on campus for a year! Anyway, it seems to be working. I had one girl approach me and say "Soliloquy, I feel so stupid for not voting you in. You're the SH*T!!!!" hahaha. Granted, she was pretty drunk- but you know what alcohol does to people... makes them tell the truth.
• Had a pretty big thing just happen in my life, a pretty big positive thing, that reaaalllly improves my chances of getting a bid. Let's just say I am now part of one of the most elite organizations on campus and holding a position that most of the student body desires!
• This position I just got really is a highly desired spot. It's a huge deal on our campus and becomes a competition among greeks as to who has the most members represented in this organization. One sorority actually bought up the fact they had the most members represented in it during rush. The reason I said it increases my chances because it makes me more visable and allows me to meet more people, including sorority women.
• going through twice is pretty common - even for well-known and respected girls

It sounds like she was counseled before that relying too much on her involvements and accomplishments worked against her, yet her new hope is pinned on this new "elite" organization she's joined. She made mention of how many sisters were rushing her in some houses versus other rushees; way back when I was in school, we did this too in order to create effective voting "blocs". That doesn't always mean they're meeting her so they can vote yes. It doesn't sound like not being known on campus or being unprepared for rush were issues for her. She made it clear she is involved and known on campus, she started getting advice from GC months before rush started, she secured recs for every chapter on a noncompetitive campus where most other sophomores (and probably freshman) didn't have them, she shopped for cute outfits and made sure all her greek friends knew she was rushing. She covered all of her bases. And did not get a bid. What more are you going to suggest she do next time? It's not like this is a huge greek system where she can slip back in with 1,000 rushees and won't be known in 14 or 15 houses. I'm all for thinking positive, but she really, really seems to have mis-read people's reactions and/or impressions all the way through. I'm not sure how that can be coached so she relates better or produces different results on another go-round. Not saying she shouldn't try if she really, really wants to, but just make sure eyes and ears are wide open and expectations are down a notch or two next time.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

She made mention of how many sisters were rushing her in some houses versus other rushees; way back when I was in school, we did this too in order to create effective voting "blocs". That doesn't always mean they're meeting her so they can vote yes.

Hey.

I think I love you.

So what am I so afraid of?

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Hey.

I think I love you.

So what am I so afraid of?

A love there is no cure for?


*smooch*

[MaggieXi]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Ok, nittanyalum is big meanie, I'll say it first.

You are a big meany...but I understand exactly what you are saying in that post and concur with your analysis (which probably makes me a big meany too)

[SthrnZeta]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

A love there is no cure for?


*smooch*

LOL, very clever

[Soliloquy]

You know what, screw decorum and trying to stay classy. I'm tired of being dogged by people that don't know me, where I go to school, or anything about our greek system. Frankly, it speaks incredibly poorly of the people who have been posting, and exemplifies the elitist stereotype given to sorority women. Go ahead, flame me for saying it- many of you have been doing that already without justification. What's worse is that many of you have been getting onto some other posters for backing me up (without knowing me) and now many are making judgements about me without knowing me. Pretty hypocritical.

How many times have GC regulars said that sometimes it takes more then one shot at FR to get a bid? It may take a COB effort or maybe just one more additional round through FR. I have already said that I know plenty of girls at my school who had to go through twice. There's nothing wrong with them. They weren't unqualified women, they weren't hideous, they had the grades, they just didn't get a bid. Just because you don't get a bid, it doesn't mean that for the rest of your collegiate life you are unworthy of being in a sorority. I will concur that going through FR more then twice, or attending multiple COB events, is a bit overwhelming for sorority members and a bit pathetic on behalf of the PNM. However, sometimes women who truly would be assets never get the chance to shine for stupid things like rumors, or relationship status, or maybe the friends they have. Don't act like you haven't denied membership to some girls because of some shallow reason like that, because many of you have admitted to doing so. I suggest that those of you passing judgement look up the word HYPOCRITE. It applies to you.

I did have a lot of friends in house, and have more now. And for your so-called "voting bloc" if that were the case in this particular house, why did the president rush me and why did they not drop me the day after I was grouped with 3 actives? If they were trying to bar me from entering their house, common sense would dictate they would have dropped me as soon as they could. And uh, they didn't. Rush at my school this year was pretty crappy. One house got fined out the wazoo for spreading rumors and rush-infractions. Another got put on probation for dirty rushing. There was also a significant number of girls who did not get bids this year. We really do need a 5th house, but it'll never happen. Once again- your ignorance of my location and school makes it pretty impossible for anyone to pass judgement about my situation and how things work here. I didn't know during some of my posts that most girls actually did secure recs. I also didn't know that one of the chapters here is considered the have the most competitive rush in our state, which was shared with me by several alums. I left out a lot of little details for sake of privacy for myself and the alums who assisted me.

Also, just because you "voted no" once doesn't mean you'll do it again without considering new developments in the person. There are plenty of real world examples for this. Such as someone who gives you a bad first impression, but when you get to meet them again and talk more- guess what? You like them!! Holy crap!! But wait, you already wrote them off once so I guess that means you'll have to do it again, right? Forget the fact that now you think that person is cool. Your first impression will reign supreme, well based on your post at least.

Finally, the position I posted about really would make a difference. Without revealing my identity, I can't tell you much about it. I can guarantee you that nearly all of the girls selected for this elite organization will end up on homecoming court before they graduate, if they haven't appeared on it already. Some will likely end up presidents of their sorority or fraternity. This organization has also yielded nearly every SGA president or Vice President. Are you starting to understand why I said it's a big deal? It's a huge honor to be part of this tradition and to be in the spot I'm in. I'm blessed to have the opportunity and to utilize it for some good on my campus. However, if it helps me go greek- cool. If I decide not to rush again, then thats fine too because I'll have this on my collegiate resume insted of greek letters. Just because I said it would give me an edge doesn't justify creating 3 pages of worthless bashing and flaming based off of NOTHING except a simple comment that had some truth to it.

/the end of soliloquy.

[nittanyalum]

WHEW! Now THAT was a soliloquy!

I wish you well, seriously. I hope you get what you want, whatever that is.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Soliloquy

I suggest that those of you passing judgement look up the word HYPOCRITE. It applies to you.

Pot, meet kettle. Aren't you the one who called National Panhellenic "silly" and "stupid" among other things, just because they cancelled a winter rush that really wasn't needed?

Plus, if you keep saying "I know the REAL story" and things of that ilk, people are going to (I know this is a shock) ask you what it is, and really bizarre possibilities are going to pop into their heads.

Originally Posted by Soliloquy

Most of you might be disappointed to find out that I was told why I was cut from 2 of the 4 houses. The reasons make sense to me and I am already taking the steps to dismiss the fears of the few who voted no against me. Ah, the disadvantages to already being on campus for a year! Anyway, it seems to be working. I had one girl approach me and say "Soliloquy, I feel so stupid for not voting you in. You're the SH*T!!!!" hahaha. Granted, she was pretty drunk- but you know what alcohol does to people... makes them tell the truth.

Like that.

[Xylochick216]

It sounds like you've already convinced yourself that you're too good for the Greek system. I wish you success in whatever it is you want to do, but you really need to sit back and look at the tone of your posts. I've never had any issue with you, but lately it seems like you have a big chip on your shoulder since recruitment and have dismissed Greeks as "elitists" while stroking your own ego with your other "elite" organization. I'm glad you've found your niche, but please understand why people are reacting the way they are. If someone said your "elite" activity was a bunch of crap, you'd defend it. We're defending our Greek system, and we trust our sisters to have made their decision for a reason.

ETA: Bragging constantly about your accomplishments is a huge turn-off in person. Recruitment isn't the time to list all of your accomplishments. Just be yourself, not what you think others want.

[barnard1897]

Soliloquy-if you feel you have something to offer the Greek system on campus and still hope to find a sisterhood that enriches your college experience, then keep the faith. None of us can say for certain what the houses on your campus will do next go around--wheter they will be open-minded and see the positive things you feel you can bring to the table, as well as look past your more senior stage in school. All you can do at this point is put your best foot forward.

I have seen time and time again that it only takes a few influential people in a house to sway the vote of a chapter one way or the other. I truly hope your new position gives you the chance to make a positive impression and that it will open sorority doors for you. In any given chapter, there are all kinds of personalities. Some are aggressive, some are quiet. Some women are gregarious and others are softspoken. My chapter had very confident leaders, and others who preferred to lay low. I sense you have confidence about yourself and what you have accomplished. When you go through again, perhaps that will shine through and lead to a better result for you. From what you have indicated, even if you don't find a house, you'll be able to keep moving forward with good accomplishments. I think that's great.