Gifts that hurt your feelings - Page 4

nittanyalum · #46 12-05-2007, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Hey hey..I never said it was $5! I don't know where you're getting that from. It was under $20, is what I believe the original post said.

I'm over it, now. He admitted he messed up on that one, and has been hinting that he's getting jewelry for Christmas...

I love him anyways

Oh, see? He's totally redeemable. Sounds like a keeper!

cheerfulgreek · #47 12-05-2007, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I wouldn't just get a gift card only. I would plan the whole day for her. The gift card would be a part of it though. I wouldn't know what to get her as far as clothing is concerned, so the gift card would take care of that. Hey, I don't have a lot of money either, but I would plan it way in advance so she would be able to have a nice anniversary. It doesn't have to be expensive, just a day for her. That's all. Hell, I wouldn't want a sack chasing woman anyway. Like you said it's the thought behind it, not the price. Doing it the day of though? To me that's not cool. I even think a nice "horse & carriage" ride through downtown on a cold day (dress warm of course) so the two of you can snuggle would be really nice. Those are not expensive at all.

Oh dear God.

Printing this out. lol

AKA_Monet · #48 12-06-2007, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Animate

I'm sorry but guys are not as gift-impaired as some would like to think. Sure he may not get you that gift that you wanted but the fact that he got you something means he is trying, if it shows that he actually put in effort. I want you to try to find the "perfect gift" every Birthday, Anniversary, Valentine's Day (I "hate" this "holiday" btw), Christmas, Day that ends in Y. Its not that we don't want to get you gifts at these times, its just that women put a lot of pressure on guys to get GREAT gifts. More pressure than you probably realize.

Yeah, for the fellas, repeated first gifts are tough. There are some fellas that are clueless when it comes to gifts, especially when they lack funds. The irony is that all the woman really wants is the "gift of time" and a "shower of kisses". Or at least there are few ladies that think that way...

At least that's better than not giving ANYTHING for the days that end in "Y"!!!

cheerfulgreek · #49 12-06-2007, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

The irony is that all the woman really wants is the "gift of time" and a "shower of kisses".

Guys, do this and you can't go wrong. I agree with you AKA_Monet.

cheerfulgreek · #50 12-06-2007, 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Yup. Next year buy that joker a $10.00 suit from Walmart. "The day of."

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

PrettyBoy · #51 12-06-2007, 06:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Hey hey..I never said it was $5! I don't know where you're getting that from. It was under $20, is what I believe the original post said.

Exactly. $5.00 IS under $20.00.

fantASTic · #52 12-06-2007, 10:29 AM

Haha, aren't you so clever!

DaemonSeid · #53 12-06-2007, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Animate

, Valentine's Day (I "hate" this "holiday" btw), More pressure than you probably realize.

And worse yet, that's my birthday...hehe

DaemonSeid · #54 12-06-2007, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Gift cards are so impersonal...

Agreed...if you go thru all the trouble to get a gift card....just give the cash instead.

Think of it like this...getting the gift card almost locks you in to whatever store you got the gift card from.

Sidebar: 2 years ago, mo cowrokers and I tried to do a secret Santa. I bowed out because everyone was trying to exchange gift cards and that didn't make sense to me. It's like giving cash or better yet exchanging cash for cash.

fyrnymph · #55 12-07-2007, 10:29 AM

But just forking over cash is VERY impersonal. I mean, it takes no effort at all. Although cash in a card with a heartfelt message written inside might be okay.

James · #56 12-07-2007, 07:00 PM

I don't know. I have seen girls upset because they didn't think the guy spent enough money on them . . .

Maybe there is some optimum intersection between thought and value? A lot of thought but little financial value equals bad gift, but maybe no thought and high value also equals bad gift?

However, me thinks that if the ticket item is high enough it may erase the lack of thought . . . .

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Yeah, for the fellas, repeated first gifts are tough. There are some fellas that are clueless when it comes to gifts, especially when they lack funds. The irony is that all the woman really wants is the "gift of time" and a "shower of kisses". Or at least there are few ladies that think that way...

At least that's better than not giving ANYTHING for the days that end in "Y"!!!

AKA_Monet · #57 12-07-2007, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

I don't know. I have seen girls upset because they didn't think the guy spent enough money on them . . .

Maybe there is some optimum intersection between thought and value? A lot of thought but little financial value equals bad gift, but maybe no thought and high value also equals bad gift?

However, me thinks that if the ticket item is high enough it may erase the lack of thought . . . .

Then I wonder about one's character if they think that money can "buy" love. And the question becomes at "what cost"?

Because when a one purchases certain pricey items for said another, that person owns or owes him or her... And when they say, jump, the other person has to say "how high".

Good luck, but most expensive givers have strong expectations regarding the outcome.

James · #58 12-07-2007, 07:36 PM

Of course you can buy love. Don't be silly. People have been buying love for centuries through money, gifts, status, power etc.

A lot of people respond to to those things with with warmth, excitement and affection. I am not going to argue if its "true love" because most people seem to think they have true love regardless of how good or bad their relationship is.

In fact standard courtship rituals tend to involve a lot of time and expense.

Except for those that subscribe to the "Just come over" type of relationships.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Then I wonder about one's character if they think that money can "buy" love. And the question becomes at "what cost"?

Because when a one purchases certain pricey items for said another, that person owns or owes him or her... And when they say, jump, the other person has to say "how high".

Good luck, but most expensive givers have strong expectations regarding the outcome.

AKA_Monet · #59 12-07-2007, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

Of course you can buy love. Don't be silly. People have been buying love for centuries through money, gifts, status, power etc.

A lot of people respond to to those things with with warmth, excitement and affection. I am not going to argue if its "true love" because most people seem to think they have true love regardless of how good or bad their relationship is.

In fact standard courtship rituals tend to involve a lot of time and expense.

Except for those that subscribe to the "Just come over" type of relationships.

A Vegas "mafia" wiseguy bought my aunt a 12 karat diamond ring and said he wants her to "be" his... NOT MARRY--because he was already married with kids, safely tucked away in another city...

My aunt said no...

Ownership is what I am talking about.

But you're right: no romance without finance is a nuisance... And it is a full contact sport, spectators are rarely allowed...

So, I am talking about "passion"...

sageofages · #60 12-07-2007, 09:06 PM

I know what I believe... Mr Sageofages is pretty hit/miss about gifts. While I *know* he loves me, seriously, I know. He is (as I tend to tease him) "gift-giving challenged or impaired".

If we are equating love=$$spent, then he succeeds. I can always count on "computer hardware" as a gift..and he gets the good stuff. But that is NOT what I want, need, can or will use. Same goes for DVDS, CD, and other electronic-found-at-best-buy, etc items. He never gives jewelry...and after so many years, I gave up the desire for it, cause I am not going to get it anyway.

If we are equating love=time.invested.in.the.best.gift.selection, then he fails. If I don't give him a gift list of my selections, then I can expect something like I received a few years ago. Back massager, foot massager, heating pad, etc. I said "what is this? The mom is falling apart Christmas?"

There is a diffference between a gift and a present. A gift is something you give the person because you know and love them and want them to have it. A present is something you present to the person whether you want to give it to them or not (they chose) or because you think they need it because they are lacking somewhere (you need a blender, so here is one).

I believe that choosing a gift involves an investment of myself and my time to understand the recipient, their life and what might expand it. That is part of the "gift"...giving that little bit of my time to make it wonderful for them. Even if it is simple and inexpensive, if I take the time to consider them in the process...it is a good thing.

That is all I want in return...the gift of you built into the process.