Smaller Groups-how can you make PNMs feel chosen? - Page 2

carnation · #1 07-02-2007, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaGamUGAAlum

Because the problems isn't with the PNMs really. It's with how getting invites back is an unpleasant wake up call for girls who expected to join other chapters. They are more than aware of where they ranked your chapter and where other girls ranked your chapter, even if they liked you, and when they get the invite lists back and find out that they've gotten cut from their "favorites," they feel like losers.

My correspondent says that this hits the nail on the head. Her group is also aware of where these girls ranked them and that these girls want to be at other sororities with their friends yet they keep having to go back unwillingly to her group and she feels like they dread the idea of opening an envelope on Bid Day with their name on it. At which point they'd drop it and leave and her group has 10 girls show up instead of the huge numbers all around them.

ZTA zetahunny · #2 07-11-2007, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

I received a pm from a GCer who's a member of a smaller group on a big campus. Without outing her group, she wanted me to ask y'all how they could make PNMs feel like they were "chosen", not like they were all their group could get. She said that frequently they're in the position of having to ask back girls who have cut them and that frankly, a lot of girls who are crying at their prefs aren't doing it from happiness.

So GCers, how can they make their guests feel special and not let them think they're the "leftovers" in recruitment?

I would look to see if any of those new members had a personal rec, and then have any alums who wrote those personal recs write notes saying something to show that they were pulling hard for her all along. You need to give these girls something to hold on to. This post has been on my mind since the day I read it.

adrie435 · #3 07-11-2007, 04:18 PM

Are chapters allowed to give PNM's notes/ written letters during recruitment parties in formal rush as long as they take them back at the end and don't allow the PNM to keep it? I can't think of any reason why it wouldn't be like showing them something on a poster or a brochure... So, if a sister couldn't be there for some reason and had a close connection with a girl, or if there is a not-in-house legacy in the group, or something to that effect could they write a letter to the PNM and have an active member give it to her? Could an alum who knows her and perhaps wrote a recommendation for her write a letter that is given during a party?

I feel like it could be a very powerful recruitment tool in some cases (depending on how well you know someone). The thought that someone obviously took the time outside of recruitment to write a personal letter would mean a lot to some girls. Speaking for myself, I've always been more moved by writing than someone just speaking to me (but it could just be me)..

Anyone know if that is allowed??

KSUViolet06 · #4 07-11-2007, 04:27 PM

A chapter on my campus writes preference letters to their PNMs. It's perfectly okay as long as they don't leave the house with them.

AOII Angel · #5 08-25-2007, 10:20 AM

I want to harp on something mentioned earlier...campus reputation. I think this is one of the most important things to focus on to improve a chapter. KSUViolet06 touched on it a little. You have to make your chapter memorable. You don't have to be the chapter full of beauty queens to have a good rush. Find what your chapter is good at and ADVERTISE it. If your chapter is very involved in philanthropy activities, spread the word! If your campus gives chapter awards, fight for them! The problem with struggling chapters is that they often feel like they can't beat the "better groups" at their own game. Being pretty or popular doesn't make you good at organization, leadership, etc. Many of the top chapters have programs in place that members just have to follow to look good. Smaller chapters have to work harder. When the PNMs come through rush, they'll see the small chapter that wins all the awards or the small chapter that does so much for charity, or the small chapter with the great sisterhood rather than the small chapter full of nobodies who do nothing!

Fleur de Lis · #6 08-25-2007, 11:35 AM

AOII Angel, that is great advice.

When I went through, my pledge class was the beginning of a "turn around" for our chapter. I met a sister first semester who introduced me to a TON of other sisters and really got me excited about joining. They always invited me to charity events, etc. and had one of the best GPAs on campus. You could tell they genuinely cared about each other. I also loved when someone I knew 'rushed' me - that made me feel remembered and special. It honestly never occured to me that they were a smaller chapter and it didn't end up mattering anyways because now the chapter is doing amazing!

Any updates on carnation's "correspondent"??

WhiteRose1912 · #7 12-03-2011, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adrie435

Are chapters allowed to give PNM's notes/ written letters during recruitment parties in formal rush as long as they take them back at the end and don't allow the PNM to keep it? I can't think of any reason why it wouldn't be like showing them something on a poster or a brochure... So, if a sister couldn't be there for some reason and had a close connection with a girl, or if there is a not-in-house legacy in the group, or something to that effect could they write a letter to the PNM and have an active member give it to her? Could an alum who knows her and perhaps wrote a recommendation for her write a letter that is given during a party?

I feel like it could be a very powerful recruitment tool in some cases (depending on how well you know someone). The thought that someone obviously took the time outside of recruitment to write a personal letter would mean a lot to some girls. Speaking for myself, I've always been more moved by writing than someone just speaking to me (but it could just be me)..

Anyone know if that is allowed??

I know this is old but I didn't see the correct response given. It's listed on page 94 of the green book.

Quote:

Resolved (1991), That all College Panhellenics and their member chapters shall incorporate the following into their recruitment programs as soon as possible:
...
*Eliminate all gifts, favors, preference letters or notes for potential new members until they have accepted bids.
...

That being said, I know that many campuses have a lax view of what "as soon as possible" means and still allow preference letters, twenty years after the resolution. Check with your campus's recruitment rules to be completely certain.

carnation · #8 07-16-2012, 07:18 PM

This one's for the smaller groups again--heck, for everyone--

AXOrushadvisor · #9 07-02-2010, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

I received a pm from a GCer who's a member of a smaller group on a big campus. Without outing her group, she wanted me to ask y'all how they could make PNMs feel like they were "chosen", not like they were all their group could get. She said that frequently they're in the position of having to ask back girls who have cut them and that frankly, a lot of girls who are crying at their prefs aren't doing it from happiness.

So GCers, how can they make their guests feel special and not let them think they're the "leftovers" in recruitment?

I would do it through conversation. At the door, whoever is greeting the PNM's should know them by name "Carnation, we are so glad to see you back" Then there needs to be a reaffirmation from the members when meeting the PNM. "I have heard so much about you. I'm so glad your back" As the recruitment progresses I think they need to be honest with the women they want. I don't think there is any thing wrong with telling these women that they do want them and that they would be "perfect helping us rebuild our Chapter" because they have this quality and that quality. This will take a lot more work then normal, but it would be so worth it.

In terms of crying at Pref- that is a hard one. I think it is so frustrating for a PNM to have to go to party they don't want to be at, but it is part of the process. I think in a situation like this you have to sell your Chapter and your Sisters - maybe even introduce them to women in the Chapter who went through the same thing- maybe it is incorporated into your preference ceremony some way. The bottom line is the Chapter needs to find a way to connect with these girls. If they can not then they probably wouldn't be good members any way and the Chapter just needs to walk.

I also think the Chapter needs some type of system that is set up once these women find there way into the Chapter as a new member. Their goal should be to hang onto these women and the PNM's first instinct is going to be to drop. I would try to put someone in charge of these women who is attractive, friendly and outgoing. If there is not a plan you have these folks dropping and that doesn't help a small Chapter either.

Good luck to this group. I hope they have good alumni support and support from Greek Life. I also hope the other Chapters on campus are helpful too.

KSUViolet06 · #10 02-13-2011, 02:08 PM

I wanted to bump this in light of the recent discussions we've been having.

carnation · #11 05-20-2011, 02:55 PM

I'd like to bump it too.

KSUViolet06 · #12 10-03-2011, 03:25 PM

Think it's time for a bump of this one.

Some thoughts (from another thread): I've seen chapters who don't do well year after year with recruitment, but still tend to think that the RFM is going to "save' them and get them quota of NMs. Every year they are disappointed and sad when that doesn't happen.

What I think a lot of struggling chapters fail to see is that the RFM isn't a magic problem solver. It can help you invite more women, but it can't MAKE those women accept your invite. That's something only the CHAPTER can do.

KDCat · #13 10-03-2011, 04:29 PM

"As the recruitment progresses I think they need to be honest with the women they want. I don't think there is any thing wrong with telling these women that they do want them and that they would be "perfect helping us rebuild our Chapter" because they have this quality and that quality. This will take a lot more work then normal, but it would be so worth it."

This. If the PNM are upset because they got cut, they feel like they are not worth keeping. Having a sister explain to them why your group wants them will make the PNM feel good and that will make her feel good about your group. She will perceive that you are clearly a group of kind, thoughtful, perceptive women if you can see the good qualities in her.

You also need to make them feel like the sisterhood you're offering is worth having. I think they need to see interaction between the sisters, in addition to forming a connection with the sisters.

During the pref ceremony at my KD chapter, the actives not only preffed the PNMs, they included a couple of sisters who had accepted bids through spring informal the year before in the little preference ceremony that they did. Those sisters had already initiated but they'd never been through a pref ceremony. The explanation from the sister who rushed me at pref was that they wanted those women to know that they were chosen, too. I was really impressed by their thoughtfulness for their newest sisters. I knew that they would treat me well. (Looking back, I now know that must have happened for those sisters multiple times because there were multiple pref parties. They got preffed a bunch of times, not just once. LOL.)

KSUViolet06 · #14 10-03-2011, 05:09 PM

I dunno about telling people you want them because they have potential to "help rebuild." It sounds like "we really need the numbers."

I do agree with your point about showing PNMs that what you're offering is worth having. Only remember that FR is not the only place for you to be doing that.

You need to do that BEFOR FR. It goes back to the fact that recruitment is not just one weekend in the fall. It's a year-round effort. When people start to see you during the YEAR doing things, they begin to change their perception of the chapter, and it carries over to FR.

You also have to continue to show these women that, even once they become NMs.

KDCat · #15 10-03-2011, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I dunno about telling people you want them because they have potential to "help rebuild." It sounds like "we really need the numbers."

Yeah, you're right about the "help rebuild" bit. It's not a good way to say it. At the same time, there has to be reasons that you want that woman -- leadership or grades or shared interests or shared experiences or grades -- and telling her that specific thing and that you think she'd make a great addition to the chapter wouldn't hurt.