Joint account or separate account

Cen1aur 1963 · #1 10-10-2011, 07:33 AM

I was hanging out with a group of friends over the weekend -the group I was telling y'all about. We had a deep discussion about this. I'd rather have two separate bank accounts. Is that selfish or do some of y'all feel me on this?

BluPhire · #2 10-10-2011, 08:24 AM

Whatever you are comfortable with. There is no right answer. Joint works for some marriages, separate works for others. That's one of those dealbreakers that needs to be discussed before saying I do.

DrPhil · #3 10-10-2011, 08:40 AM

Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

AnotherKD · #4 10-10-2011, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

That's what I have. After my husband and I were married, I frankly wanted to have one account, as that's what I grew up with and that's what my parents did. But, after thinking about it, of course they did, because my mom was (is) a homemaker. But my husband and I both work. I like being able to go to Saks and buy what I want without him hassling me.

DrPhil · #5 10-10-2011, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

That's what I have. After my husband and I were married, I frankly wanted to have one account, as that's what I grew up with and that's what my parents did. But, after thinking about it, of course they did, because my mom was (is) a homemaker. But my husband and I both work. I like being able to go to Saks and buy what I want without him hassling me.

Indeed and couples need to agree on this before getting married.

The largest percentage of incomes go into the joint account and the rest go into the separate accounts.

My significant other and I don't need to ask each other whether we can buy/afford to buy some new shoes. And, aside from discussing our calendar of events, we don't need to ask whether we can afford to go on golf trips or vacations with friends. Individual expenses are individual expenses. But, tread lightly and keep paperwork (I'm a stickler for outlining monthly expenses) because individual expenses do not trickle down to the joint account. Don't go into debt and get all crazy to the point where your investments and monthly deposits can't cover your individual expenses.

AOII Angel · #6 10-10-2011, 10:19 AM

Single account. My husband does the money. I make most of the money. I spend money how I see fit, and he let's me know if we're getting low for the month and won't make our savings goals. It works for us. We've had a single account since we were dating (what were we thinking?

) and used to fight all the time about money when we both paid bills and managed the account. I get an update now so I know where the money has gone, but not micromanaging our money has saved us tons of strife.

Jill1228 · #7 10-10-2011, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

Yes this!

KSUViolet06 · #8 10-10-2011, 12:10 PM

Putting my counselor hat on:

So many couples ignore talking about money when they're engaged (or even seriously dating.)

That's why it's important to seek some sort of premarital counseling because it forces you to talk about this stuff with a neutral party.

Ex: You're going to have a problem if you find (after marriage) that your hubby is all about having control of all money/spending decisions and handing you a $2o allowance per week when you would rather have a joint account.

There's a reason why money is one of the top reasons for divorce. Two people probably had TWO different views on money/saving/spending.

You need to know before you get married if your fiance's idea of financial security = payday loans from Cash O Rama.

ADqtPiMel · #9 10-10-2011, 12:23 PM

Married four years, I make more than he does. We have separate checking accounts and a joint savings account. He's responsible for paying the rent and his student loan payment; I cover everything else -- bills, trips, fun money, etc. He uses a credit card for small stuff (lunch at work, new clothes, etc.) that I pay off in full each month. Whatever's left over out of our checking accounts at the end of the month goes into the joint savings account.

My parents have always had separate accounts so I never really considered a joint checking account. I think it's important for everyone to have a little bit of their own money...just in case.

AlphaFrog · #10 10-10-2011, 12:35 PM

All our money goes in the same pot, but all our accounts are in my name. Husband is stereotypical Latino that doesn't like banks. He's got a credit card, but prefers to use cash for everything anyway.

Our finances work just fine because he feels like I make more, so I should be able to spend more, and I just consider it all "our money". This will get interesting when I'm in school and have ZERO income for 9 months. At least our living expense money is coming from the equity in the house which is in my name, so I'll feel like I'm contributing...maybe?

DubaiSis · #11 10-10-2011, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

This will get interesting when I'm in school and have ZERO income for 9 months.

This is a problem most of my women friends deal with in Dubai (including me). Most of us gave up careers to move with our husbands and suddenly find ourselves being ladies of leisure. It sounds good in theory, but none of us had lives where we depended on someone else 100% for our spending money, regardless of how the bills get paid. It takes awhile to get into the swing of lunch, mani/pedis, outings, without 1-getting approval for everything and 2-feeling guilty about it. Even the ladies whose husbands make a LOT of money deal with these issues. We do eventually get over it

.

christiangirl · #12 10-11-2011, 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

This. For as long as I've been aware, my mom has had a separate account because she would not feel comfortable taking from the family pile to spend on herself. I'm tempted to say that I would feel this way even if she had not modeled that for me (just because it makes sense) but who knows.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

This is how we do it

Cue obligatory semi-related link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hiUuL5uTKc

ThetaPrincess24 · #13 10-10-2011, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

Agreed!

CutiePie2000 · #14 10-10-2011, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Both.
Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

^^^^^
This. Sister #2 went through a nasty divorce and I come from the "Cover Your A$$ School of Philoshophy".

AlphaFrog · #15 10-11-2011, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CutiePie2000

^^^^^
This. Sister #2 went through a nasty divorce and I come from the "Cover Your A$$ School of Philoshophy".

I know I'm going to sound all fuddy-duddy bemoaning the downfall of today's society, but I can't help but think that issues like this make divorce more common. Not just the actual financial issues, but the fact that we have trained ourselves to CYA in regards to marriage. We go in with contingency plans and ready to bail if we feel it necessary. We make it easy because then if things don't work out, we can shrug our shoulders and move on. What would happen if people once again treated marriage of less of an experiment and more of a serious commitment? I feel that if you're seriously ready to make that kind of commitment to someone, you should be ready to tie yourselves irrevocably to that person. And this is coming from someone who many people would feel has had plenty of legitimate "excuses" to throw in the towel and not look back.

/soapbox sermon