I need some ADVICE...

Arush10 · #1 08-21-2010, 10:56 AM

Heyy everybody! I have been going through this site for a little bit and I know that you all give such great advice so hopefully you can help me...

I am going through rush right now today is pref day! I got a call from my rho gamma telling me I got invited back to one house. As long as I maximize my options at computers today, this house will be my new home! But the problem is the girls are all super nice but in the greek community they are known as one of the worst! I HATE that I even have to listen to what other people think, but I dont want to end up with this house and not be "comfortable" wearing my letters. I usually try not to listen to what other people think but I dont know what to do...

Now here is the problem I am having...
There is a new chapter on campus that is going to be colonized this year! There rush process starts in about 2 weeks. I have already talked to there reps and it is something I am totally interested in. How cool would it be to be a founder?! But it is going to be a selective process, but they said between 130-150 girls would get in.

What do you guys think I should do? Go with the first house or take a chance and try to become a founder at the new house on campus? ALL advice is welcome! Thank you!

PhoenixAzul · #2 08-21-2010, 11:10 AM

1) All of the NPC groups are fantastic. They all have long and wonderful histories and are full of talented and caring individuals. You should have no qualms about wearing any of their letters on campus, you have nothing to be ashamed of. If you have been made to feel welcome and loved by the active sisterhood...what's left to really think about?

2) Colonization is a very time intensive process. You have to want to give yourself 100% to that effort. Do you have the time management, energy and drive to do that? If you do not, then you might want to consider the chapter that is interested in you now. How will you feel if you pass on the "sure" (and I know, nothing is SURE in recruitment) thing and pursue the colony, only to be dropped from the colonization process?

Xylochick216 · #3 08-21-2010, 11:16 AM

If you like the girls in the chapter you're preffing, then I'd go with that. You need to go where you feel comfortable. The women in the chapter and the women who will be in your new member class will make the experience for you. Look around and see if these are the women you want to be with.

ladybug12 · #4 08-21-2010, 11:23 AM

Go to your preference party and give it a chance. If you do not feel comfortable signing a bid card, then don't.
You are fortunate that there is a possibility of looking at a new group that will be colonizing, but there is no guarantee that you will be invited to join them.

nittanygirl · #5 08-21-2010, 11:23 AM

Worst = Low tier?
or Worst = Bad reputation for hazing, drinking, hooking up?

Just because a sorority is perceived as "low tier" does not make it a bad sorority. You said the girls are super nice, and you don't seem to dislike them, but dislike what people might think of your letters, but they are what you make of them. You could have a great time in your sorority because you are joining a sisterhood. As long as you are happy, why does it matter what other people think?

You need to be happy with where you are. And Phoenix is right, you could drop out now, but still be dropped from the colonization process.

Drolefille · #6 08-21-2010, 11:25 AM

It can suck being the chapter talked about negatively, it's true. But you're in the position to decide whether it's just talk or not. Make your decision based on how you feel there, and not how you'd feel if someone made fun of your chapter later.

Because later, you can tell them how full of shit they are, and how proud you are of your sisters. Or you can just ignore them. But part of becoming an adult is making choices based on you and not based on everyone else around you.

DubaiSis · #7 08-21-2010, 11:41 AM

And remember that during recruitment, recruitment is YOUR WHOLE LIFE. After recruitment for most of campus, including the other sorority members, it's just another house. You'll be kicking yourself if you really did like these girls and in 2 weeks you realize this chatter has evaporated. Plus, the girls you're hearing this from are not sorority members, or even college students (since most of them are incoming freshmen) yet. So they don't actually know what they're talking about for the most part. You need to do what you feel comfortable with, but be careful to not get sucked in to the negative, but temporary chatter.

Good luck and let us know what you decide.

Alumiyum · #8 08-21-2010, 12:20 PM

I had a girl in one of my RC groups who dropped out of recruitment despite us begging her to just go to the party because she thought the chapter had a negative reputation on campus. She is not Greek (this was two years ago) now and has told me before she regrets her decision because once recruitment was over she quickly realized that not only did she let others' opinions make a life choice for her, the smack talk essentially evaporated after recruitment. If you feel comfortable in that house, I would sign the bid card. Go to the party. Re-evaluate and don't let opinions make decisions for you.

As to colonizing...yes, it would be very cool to be a founder, I agree with that. But the process will be intense and you will be working harder as a new member than you will in an established chapter. And of course, you do not know that you will be chosen in the first place.

If you feel at home in the chapter you were asked back to, and the opinion of others is the only reason you are hesitating, give them a chance. You'll find that when you have a great chapter that you feel at home with it won't really matter what everyone else thinks.

HappyKappaMom · #9 08-21-2010, 12:31 PM

It seems you are making your first adult decision. You have to ask yourself:

1. Do I want to be friends with a group of "super nice" young women?

or

2. Do I want to look "cool" walking around campus in the "right" letters?

I read on here one time that you need to imagine your absolute worst day -- bad hair, big zit dead center of the forehead, boyfriend broke up with you, flunked a test in your worst class -- you head back to the sorority house, knock on the door -- which group do you want to answer?

And, remember, there's no guarantee the colonizing group will be well received or have "super nice" girls.

Best wishes.

33girl · #10 08-21-2010, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyKappaMom

And, remember, there's no guarantee the colonizing group will be well received or have "super nice" girls.

Yep. Not to be Debbie Downer and I hope this doesn't happen here, but colonies DO occasionally fail and don't charter at all.

You shouldn't be looking at the colony as something on the same level as what you're going through right now.

ree-Xi · #11 08-21-2010, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arush10

Heyy everybody! I have been going through this site for a little bit and I know that you all give such great advice so hopefully you can help me...

I am going through rush right now today is pref day! I got a call from my rho gamma telling me I got invited back to one house. As long as I maximize my options at computers today, this house will be my new home! But the problem is the girls are all super nice but in the greek community they are known as one of the worst! I HATE that I even have to listen to what other people think, but I dont want to end up with this house and not be "comfortable" wearing my letters. I usually try not to listen to what other people think but I dont know what to do...

Now here is the problem I am having...
There is a new chapter on campus that is going to be colonized this year! There rush process starts in about 2 weeks. I have already talked to there reps and it is something I am totally interested in. How cool would it be to be a founder?! But it is going to be a selective process, but they said between 130-150 girls would get in.

What do you guys think I should do? Go with the first house or take a chance and try to become a founder at the new house on campus? ALL advice is welcome! Thank you!

Inquiring minds want to know...

DubaiSis · #12 08-21-2010, 01:28 PM

I was an advisor for a colony like that. For reasons beyond their control the addition of a chapter on this campus did not "take." I think the NPC sororities have gotten much more careful about extensions, but the fact remains that it's a risk, and you can't guarantee what the new house's reputation is going to be. A bird in the hand, as they say...

mittens · #13 08-21-2010, 01:29 PM

If you really want to be greek and you like the women in that sorority that you are preffing, then I would go with that. Who cares what other people think?? You could be the change in that sorority and I'm sure EVERYONE isn't going to give you a dirty look for wearing XYZ's letters. After you go to pref, if you feel uncomfortable still, then don't sign a bid card.

Remember that even if you decide you are interested in the colonization of this one sorority that you may not even get a bid there.

Ggirl617 · #14 08-24-2010, 02:40 PM

First identify what you are looking for in a sorority. Friends? Sisterhood? Popularity? Whatever it is, decide if you can find it in that chapter. If you can, you need to decide if that outweighs what people who are not in your chapter, think about your chapter. Keep in mind you may not be invited to be a sister in the new colony, or you might. Who knows.