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Old 02-12-2008, 10:53 AM
LeslieAGD LeslieAGD is offline
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Question Rude Friend - Advice?

I need some advice on how to handle a situation with a friend.

Some background info: We were friends in high school and roomed together our first year in college. After a stupid disagreement, we didn't talk for about 5 years. Then, about 3 years ago, we ran into each other at a restaurant and resumed our friendship. I consider her to be a decent friend, but I don't always feel comfortable telling her exactly what's on my mind.

So, I am pregnant and she had her baby two months ago. It's been really nice having a friend who is also a stay at home mom to talk pregnancy and babies with. Her baby was born premature and spent two weeks in the hospital, but since then we've e-mailed and I have gone to visit and spend the afternoon with her a few times.

Here's the situation: Every time my friend asks me to come visit, she invites me and always adds "why don't you bring breakfast/lunch/coffee/ice cream." Now, at first, this didn't seem like a big deal. The first time I visited, I picked coffee and I said I'd pay for it. The last two times I have brought over coffee, she hasn't paid me back (the last time, she took out her wallet but then said she didn't have change and didn't pay me back the next time I saw her like she said she would...but I didn't bring it up either). I really don't think she's trying to take advantage of me, but I am not working right now either and I have better things to spend my money on than her.

My problem is that I just don't know how to nicely tell her how I feel about the situation. Maybe I am overreacting but, now when she e-mails me, I dread making plans with her. I feel like she's not inviting me to visit, she's inviting me to bring her food...and she maybe she doesn't realize that she's doing it, but she's being presumptuous and she does it every single time she invites me over. I wouldn't have an issue with bringing over coffee or food if 1) she paid me, and 2) she didn't ask all the time.

Is there any nice way to talk to her about this? Thanks in advance.
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