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06-04-2007, 02:04 AM
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So why can't ex lovers remain friends?
You're thoughts. Is it all or nothing. Do you think ex lovers can or should remain friends?
My opinion is flat out NO. It causes too many problems. I can see if they have kids together, but if not, the bridge has got to be broken. Period. Once I'm out, I'm out for good.
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Last edited by PrettyBoy; 08-26-2007 at 11:44 PM.
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06-04-2007, 02:51 AM
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From experience,
N-O.
It's not worth it, unless they have kids.
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Alpha Beta Gamma Delta
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Give 'em hell Rho Mu
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06-04-2007, 09:16 AM
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I need closure to be able to move on, and that doesn't always necessarily mean after it's all said and done, we can kick it the way we used to... I'd rather be a cordial acquaintance (sp?) than be a friend
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06-04-2007, 09:19 AM
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I know quite a few people who are friends with their ex, and it works well.
I personally am not friends with any of my (serious) exs. However, I know if I ever really needed him for something, my most recent ex would be there for me.
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06-04-2007, 09:23 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
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I think a friendship can be salvaged if the couple really breaks up... that means no phone calls/texts/emails, hang out sessions, etc. for a while.
However, many people want to transition from lovers to friends immediately, and end up spending as much time together as they did before they ended the relationship. And that often ends in resentment on one side.
But if they take a break to really be apart, I think friendship is possible. At least, it has been for me...
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06-04-2007, 09:43 AM
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Hell Naw ex-lovers can't be friends. There is a reason they're exes. Keep the drama out of your life.
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"Hearts that are loyal and hearts that are true"
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06-04-2007, 02:44 PM
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ditto on what everyone has said.
friendship is the foundation of bf/gf relationships, so when that "something" happens to cause the relationship to end, that means the friendship has been compromised as well.
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Ratchet begins at home.
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06-05-2007, 12:43 PM
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Location: On the beach. Well....not really but near it. :0)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy
You're thoughts. Is it all or nothing. Do you think ex lovers can or should remain friends?
My opinion is flat out NO. It causes too many problems. I can see if they have kids together, but if not, the bridge has got to be broken. Period. Once I'm out, I'm out for good.
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Yes they can if the maturity level is there. Depends on the circumstances. 
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Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. ** Greater Service, Greater Progress Since 1922
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06-05-2007, 01:18 PM
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it REALLY depends.
is it a situation of a real relationship followed by just friendship? if so i think that can work out. i've seen that more than a few times.
or is it a situation where you were just f*%ing and then you want to be just friends. if so - hell no. one of you or both of you is going to keep wanting. and if it keeps happening, well you aren't really friends. and if it stops, well somebody starts to resent. lord its juicy fun though!
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06-05-2007, 01:22 PM
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Super Moderator
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrely girl
it REALLY depends.
is it a situation of a real relationship followed by just friendship? if so i think that can work out. i've seen that more than a few times.
or is it a situation where you were just f*%ing and then you want to be just friends. if so - hell no. one of you or both of you is going to keep wanting. and if it keeps happening, well you aren't really friends. and if it stops, well somebody starts to resent. lord its juicy fun though!
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Funny but I agree 100% 
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Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. ** Greater Service, Greater Progress Since 1922
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06-05-2007, 02:07 PM
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it depends on the how the relationship ended....
I am friends with 2 of my ex's and both have met my current gf.
It wasn't awkward because one fo them I have actually been friends with since high school (tried the relationship thing in our 20s and it didnt work) and the other we dated for a few months but figured out we were better as friends and have been so since........but as someone said earlier..if you haven't learned to be friends with ur ex while u were dating...why try after the fact?
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06-05-2007, 02:31 PM
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I was married for 13 years, and divorced 4 years ago. My ex-husband and I are still best buddies - even tho we live 2 hrs apart, we still talk at least twice a week. I'd do darn near anything for him if he needed it - except live w/ him ever again! (and he says the same about me)
I'm remarried - and not only am I friends w/ my ex, but since my current husband and my ex have known each other and were friends for 18 years previously, THEY are friends still!
In fact, last weekend, Mr. Quala and I held a Celebration Party (since we eloped in December) for friends and family....and you know who the dj was? (only b/c I couldn't dj my own party) My ex-husband!
Ya think I oughtta go on Jerry Springer or what??
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06-07-2007, 06:48 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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I'm still friends with 2 of my exes. In both circumstances, we were friends prior to dating.
One of them I dated for 2 years in college. It has been 10 years since we split up, and we've remained friends over that time. (Though we went a good 6 months or so without much contact after we split up. It was a pretty serious relationship - aside from my husband, my most serious relationship.) We're both now happily married w/children. No biggie - our spouses both know that we had previously dated and were still friends.
The other one I dated for about 6 months. It has been 6 years since we split up. (I started dating my now husband about a year after the split w/that ex.) He got married last summer. My husband and he actually have a lot in common and have struck up a friendship.
There are exes who I don't keep in touch with, of course. But with the 2 I mentioned above, they are both genuinely good people and we were genuine friends before dating - there was no reason to sacrifice that friendship, when all parties involved (me, the exes, each of our now spouses) have no problem with it.
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06-10-2007, 05:54 PM
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i think it depends on how you broke up, what your relationship was like, and how mature and committed you are to staying friends. i'm friends with my ex (we were together 3 years, it's the only serious relationship of my life thus far), but as another friend said two nights ago as we bitched about boys: as long as one of you wants to jump the other (and doubly so if it's NOT just a sexual jump but a 'i want to make out with you' or something of that ilk), you cannot. you need a transition and in that transition period be prepared for major awkwardness
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06-10-2007, 06:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mystikchick
you need a transition and in that transition period be prepared for major awkwardness
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Man I been going through that for a while now. And that relationship ended a while ago.
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