Christmas song parodies!

[AlphaSigOU]

OK folks... post 'em if you got 'em! These are some gems from the days of SAC (Strategic Air Command) Trained Killers...

NUCLEAR WINTERLAND
tune: "Winter Wonderland"

Klaxon sounds, are ya listening?
In the pad, crews are pissin'!
Right in their pants, they ain't got a chance,
Walkin' in a nuclear winterland!

Gone away, is the bluebird
Here to play, the alert bird
To carry the nukes, to those commie pukes
Drop them on their heads and then we'll run!

At the post strike base we'll all be cheerin'
As our balls and assholes start to glow
They'll ask are we crewdogs, we'll say no man!
We're just clueless tourists from Japan!

Flying on, we'll be sighin'
As we dream of commies dying
To face unafraid, the mess that we made
Walking in a nuclear winterland!

THE BALLAD OF THE 23RD BMS (23rd Bombardment Squadron, 5th Bombardment Wing, Minot AFB, North Dakota)
tune: "Grandma got run over by a reindeer"

CHORUS:
Our lieutenant got run over by a bomber,
Jogging on the flight line Christmas Eve,
Some folks thought it wouldn't happen
But as for the airmen -- We Believed!

We saved our money to buy a pilot
Told him to land without his lights
And not to call to say he's coming
Lord, it was an ugly sight!

CHORUS

Now the squadron has been settled
Knowing she's not coming back
They said she was essential
But she gave us too much flack!

CHORUS

We're all so proud of Admin
They're handling it so well
The office now runs smoothly
Not listening to her Yell!

CHORUS

The crewdogs all now miss her
'Cause she's the cutest that they had
But if they all had known her
They wouldn't be so sad!

CHORUS

Now the boss man is so happy
No sadness does he show
For now the squadron won't look tacky
'Cause now she's a spot in the snow

CHORUS

So this is our little story
Of how she came and went
If you would like to add a verse or two
It would be time well spent!

[Pink_Bug]

Don't know the words but I was at a middle school chorus concert the other night and they did a really funny version of the 12 Days of Christmas except it was called the 12 Days After Christmas. It talked about dumping the true love, shooting the turtle doves, etc. Anybody know the words?

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by Pink_Bug

Don't know the words but I was at a middle school chorus concert the other night and they did a really funny version of the 12 Days of Christmas except it was called the 12 Days After Christmas. It talked about dumping the true love, shooting the turtle doves, etc. Anybody know the words?

I know this was brought up five years ago, but below are the words. I remember my high school choir singing this a couple times at their Christmas concert, and I thought it was very funny.


The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.

On the third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens
To make some chicken soup

The four calling birds were a big mistake
For their language was obscene

The five golden rings were completely fake
and turned my fingers green.

The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldn't lay
So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the
A.S.P.C.A.

On the seventh day, what a mess I found
The seven swans-a-swimming all had drowned
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.

The eighth day after Christmas
Before they could suspect
I bundled up the
Eight maids-a-milking
Nine ladies dancing
Ten lords-a-leaping
Eleven pipers piping
Twelve drummers drumming - well, actually I kept one of the dancing ladies -
And sent them back collect
I wrote my true love
"We are through, love!"
And I said in so many words
"Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the Birds!"

[aephi alum]

LMAO! My husband has sung that for me (I think his HS choir sang it), but in his version, the last line is:

"Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the ...

Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!"

Always a favorite from the radio:

Walking Round in Womens Underwear
Just a look, in the closet
Just to look unusual
I know Im a guy
But just for tonight.
Walking round in women's underwear
They'll think I look like a blue bird
Because I look like a man bird
Wearin' a thong
As I go along,
Walking round in women's underwear
On the street. They might except a man
Then Ill say that my name is Lucy Brown
They'll say: Are you married?
Ill say: No man,
While I wear a gown.
They might think that Im a liar
When a scream like a girl
My hair is in braids
It's gold that I made

On the street they might ask if Im a queer
Or say that I look like Britney Spears
If they ask, Ill say "Heck no, man"
Then he'll notice my gown
In the gown, it was thrilling
All the neighbors, said Im silly
It was juts play, Im not turning gay
Walking round in women's underwear
Walking round in women's underwear
Walking round in women's underwear

[DolphinChicaDDD]

Oh Come All Ye Deadheads

Oh come all ye Grateful Deadheads to the concert.
Oh come Grateful Deadheads and camp in the street.
Bring rolling papers, don't forget your sleeping bags.

Oh come get us some floor seats.
We followed them for four weeks.
Oh come get us some floor seats, to see the Lord.

Come all ye hippies, throwbacks to the '60's.
Paint flowers on your van and don't wash your feet.
Wear your bell-bottoms and your tie-dyed t-shirts.

Oh come let us adore them. We quit our day jobs for them.
Oh come let us adore them. Garcia's the Lord.

[XOMichelle]

Oh! My calculus class used to get up and sing calculus Christmas carols before the math finals.
we sang two songs:
"Deck the halls with differentials"
and
"Oh Calculus"

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
How tough are both your branches.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
To pass, what are my chances
Derivatives I cannot take,
At integrals my fingers shake.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
How tough are both your branches.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Your theorems I can't master.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
My proofs are a disaster.
You pull a trick out of the air,
Or find a reason, God knows where.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Your theorems I can't master.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Your problems do distress me.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Related rates depress me.
I walk toward lampposts in my sleep,
And running water makes me weep.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Your problems do distress me.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
My limit I am reaching.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
For mercy I'm beseeching.
my grades do not approach a B,
They're just an epsilon from D.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
My limit I am reaching.

[XOMichelle]

Fill the boards with differentials,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA,
Note that du's are essential,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA,
C's are constants here before us,
FA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA La-La-LA,
Integration cannot floor us,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA.

Quizzes always make us queasy,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA,
Max and mins are never easy,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA,
Conic volumes we can measure,
FA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA La-La-LA,
Our calc class we'll always treasure,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Joy To The World

Joy to the world
The school burnt down
and all the teachers died.
The principal is dead
we shot him in the head.
The janitor is gone
we flushed him down the john

Joy to the world the school burnt down

And that's all we ever sang.

Then there's the classic Jingle Bells

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile lost is wheel
and Joker took ballet...

[SSS1365]

Wreck the malls this Christmas season
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Blow your cash for no good reason
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Push your charge card to the limit
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
Checkbook now has nothing in it
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Wreck the malls with my friend Charley
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Ride through K-Mart on his Harley
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Tamper with their music system
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
Trade something for Twisted Sister
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Wreck the pet store, do some damage
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Send the beagles on a rampage
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Acting in an uncouth manner
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
Drop your pants and moon that Santa
Fa la la la la, la la la la

[SSS1365]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
Joy To The World

Joy to the world
The school burnt down
and all the teachers died.
The principal is dead
we shot him in the head.
The janitor is gone
we flushed him down the john

Joy to the world the school burnt down

Oh, I remember that one! Except our version was slightly different... it went:

Joy to the world!
The teacher's dead
We barbecued her head
Don't worry 'bout the body
We flushed it down the potty
And 'round and 'round it goes
And 'round and 'round it goes
And 'round, and 'round, and 'round it goes

Geez, the kids at my school were pretty sick!

[TNPhiMu]

Who needs that bird in the fruit tree and those golden rings... =)

"On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT."

[GreenKappa]

With a little different twist...we always sang at school...to the tune of chopstikes, the night before xmas (i thought we made it up..maybe we didnt)

[carnation]

Chemical Christmas Carols:

Xenon, the inert atom, had a very stable shell,
And all the other atoms wished that they could do as well,
All of the other atoms used to laugh and call him names;
They never let poor xenon join in any bonding games!

The one dark and stormy night, fluorine came to say-
Xenon with your stable shell,
You could pair my p so well!
Then all the atoms loved him as they shouted out with glee:
Xenon the inert atom--you'll go down in chemistry!
____________________

Then there was one about the shells that started out:

S-p-d, s-p-d, s-p-d-f-g!
Oh, what crud is is to cram for a lousy F or D!

[ShyViolet]

XOMichelle, I used to sing those Calculus Christmas carols too! My high school calc. teacher handed them out before Christmas senior year. Ahh the memories

Bob Rivers Christmas carols are among my favorite parodies, including "Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire," "Yellow Snow," and "Walking Round in Women's Underwear" (a different version from the one OTW posted).

Lacey things, the wife is missing.
Didn't ask, for her permission
I'm wearing her clothes,
her silk panty hose.
Walking around in women's underwear.

In the store, there's a teddy.
With little straps, like spagetti.
It holds me so tight,
like handcuffs at night.
Walking around in womens underwear

In the office there's a guy named Melvin.
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say "Are you ready?"
I'll say, "Woah man! Lets wait untill the wife is out of town."
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress, like Madonna.
Put on some eye shade, and join the parade.
Walking around in women's underwear.

Lacey things, missing.
Didn't ask, permission.
Wearing her clothes, silk panty hose.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Walking around in women's underwear......"

The Jimmy Fallon Christmas parodies aren't too bad either, but he never did an entire song.

ps - this thread is especially great after imbibing some Christmas cheer.