Christmas song parodies!
 

OK folks... post 'em if you got 'em! These are some gems from the days of SAC (Strategic Air Command) Trained Killers... :D

NUCLEAR WINTERLAND
tune: "Winter Wonderland"

Klaxon sounds, are ya listening?
In the pad, crews are pissin'!
Right in their pants, they ain't got a chance,
Walkin' in a nuclear winterland!

Gone away, is the bluebird
Here to play, the alert bird
To carry the nukes, to those commie pukes
Drop them on their heads and then we'll run!

At the post strike base we'll all be cheerin'
As our balls and assholes start to glow
They'll ask are we crewdogs, we'll say no man!
We're just clueless tourists from Japan!

Flying on, we'll be sighin'
As we dream of commies dying
To face unafraid, the mess that we made
Walking in a nuclear winterland!

THE BALLAD OF THE 23RD BMS (23rd Bombardment Squadron, 5th Bombardment Wing, Minot AFB, North Dakota)
tune: "Grandma got run over by a reindeer"

CHORUS:
Our lieutenant got run over by a bomber,
Jogging on the flight line Christmas Eve,
Some folks thought it wouldn't happen
But as for the airmen -- We Believed!

We saved our money to buy a pilot
Told him to land without his lights
And not to call to say he's coming
Lord, it was an ugly sight!

CHORUS

Now the squadron has been settled
Knowing she's not coming back
They said she was essential
But she gave us too much flack!

CHORUS

We're all so proud of Admin
They're handling it so well
The office now runs smoothly
Not listening to her Yell!

CHORUS

The crewdogs all now miss her
'Cause she's the cutest that they had
But if they all had known her
They wouldn't be so sad!

CHORUS

Now the boss man is so happy
No sadness does he show
For now the squadron won't look tacky
'Cause now she's a spot in the snow

CHORUS

So this is our little story
Of how she came and went
If you would like to add a verse or two
It would be time well spent!

Don't know the words but I was at a middle school chorus concert the other night and they did a really funny version of the 12 Days of Christmas except it was called the 12 Days After Christmas. It talked about dumping the true love, shooting the turtle doves, etc. Anybody know the words?

Always a favorite from the radio:

Walking Round in Womens Underwear
Just a look, in the closet
Just to look unusual
I know Im a guy
But just for tonight.
Walking round in women's underwear
They'll think I look like a blue bird
Because I look like a man bird
Wearin' a thong
As I go along,
Walking round in women's underwear
On the street. They might except a man
Then Ill say that my name is Lucy Brown
They'll say: Are you married?
Ill say: No man,
While I wear a gown.
They might think that Im a liar
When a scream like a girl
My hair is in braids
It's gold that I made

On the street they might ask if Im a queer
Or say that I look like Britney Spears
If they ask, Ill say "Heck no, man"
Then he'll notice my gown
In the gown, it was thrilling
All the neighbors, said Im silly
It was juts play, Im not turning gay
Walking round in women's underwear
Walking round in women's underwear
Walking round in women's underwear

Oh Come All Ye Deadheads

Oh come all ye Grateful Deadheads to the concert.
Oh come Grateful Deadheads and camp in the street.
Bring rolling papers, don't forget your sleeping bags.

Oh come get us some floor seats.
We followed them for four weeks.
Oh come get us some floor seats, to see the Lord.

Come all ye hippies, throwbacks to the '60's.
Paint flowers on your van and don't wash your feet.
Wear your bell-bottoms and your tie-dyed t-shirts.

Oh come let us adore them. We quit our day jobs for them.
Oh come let us adore them. Garcia's the Lord.

Oh! My calculus class used to get up and sing calculus Christmas carols before the math finals.
we sang two songs:
"Deck the halls with differentials"
and
"Oh Calculus"

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
How tough are both your branches.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
To pass, what are my chances
Derivatives I cannot take,
At integrals my fingers shake.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
How tough are both your branches.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Your theorems I can't master.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
My proofs are a disaster.
You pull a trick out of the air,
Or find a reason, God knows where.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Your theorems I can't master.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Your problems do distress me.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Related rates depress me.
I walk toward lampposts in my sleep,
And running water makes me weep.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Your problems do distress me.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
My limit I am reaching.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
For mercy I'm beseeching.
my grades do not approach a B,
They're just an epsilon from D.
Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
My limit I am reaching.

Fill the board with differentials
 

Fill the boards with differentials,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA,
Note that du's are essential,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA,
C's are constants here before us,
FA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA La-La-LA,
Integration cannot floor us,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA.

Quizzes always make us queasy,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA,
Max and mins are never easy,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA,
Conic volumes we can measure,
FA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA La-La-LA,
Our calc class we'll always treasure,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA.

Joy To The World
 

Joy To The World

Joy to the world
The school burnt down
and all the teachers died.
The principal is dead
we shot him in the head.
The janitor is gone
we flushed him down the john

Joy to the world the school burnt down

And that's all we ever sang.

Then there's the classic Jingle Bells

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile lost is wheel
and Joker took ballet...

Wreck the Malls
 

Wreck the malls this Christmas season
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Blow your cash for no good reason
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Push your charge card to the limit
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
Checkbook now has nothing in it
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Wreck the malls with my friend Charley
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Ride through K-Mart on his Harley
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Tamper with their music system
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
Trade something for Twisted Sister
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Wreck the pet store, do some damage
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Send the beagles on a rampage
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Acting in an uncouth manner
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
Drop your pants and moon that Santa
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Re: Joy To The World
 

Oh, I remember that one! Except our version was slightly different... it went:

Joy to the world!
The teacher's dead
We barbecued her head
Don't worry 'bout the body
We flushed it down the potty
And 'round and 'round it goes
And 'round and 'round it goes
And 'round, and 'round, and 'round it goes

Geez, the kids at my school were pretty sick!

(Redneck)12 days of Christmas
 

Who needs that bird in the fruit tree and those golden rings... =)

"On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT."

With a little different twist...we always sang at school...to the tune of chopstikes, the night before xmas (i thought we made it up..maybe we didnt)

Chemical Christmas Carols:

Xenon, the inert atom, had a very stable shell,
And all the other atoms wished that they could do as well,
All of the other atoms used to laugh and call him names;
They never let poor xenon join in any bonding games!

The one dark and stormy night, fluorine came to say-
Xenon with your stable shell,
You could pair my p so well!
Then all the atoms loved him as they shouted out with glee:
Xenon the inert atom--you'll go down in chemistry!
____________________

Then there was one about the shells that started out:

S-p-d, s-p-d, s-p-d-f-g!
Oh, what crud is is to cram for a lousy F or D!

XOMichelle, I used to sing those Calculus Christmas carols too! My high school calc. teacher handed them out before Christmas senior year. Ahh the memories :)

Bob Rivers Christmas carols are among my favorite parodies, including "Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire," "Yellow Snow," and "Walking Round in Women's Underwear" (a different version from the one OTW posted).

Lacey things, the wife is missing.
Didn't ask, for her permission
I'm wearing her clothes,
her silk panty hose.
Walking around in women's underwear.

In the store, there's a teddy.
With little straps, like spagetti.
It holds me so tight,
like handcuffs at night.
Walking around in womens underwear

In the office there's a guy named Melvin.
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say "Are you ready?"
I'll say, "Woah man! Lets wait untill the wife is out of town."
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress, like Madonna.
Put on some eye shade, and join the parade.
Walking around in women's underwear.

Lacey things, missing.
Didn't ask, permission.
Wearing her clothes, silk panty hose.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Walking around in women's underwear......"

The Jimmy Fallon Christmas parodies aren't too bad either, but he never did an entire song. :(

ps - this thread is especially great after imbibing some Christmas cheer. ;)

Apparently from Strange Brew
 

Bob: Ok g'day. This is the Christmas part of the album, you can play this at your Christmas partys uh, or to yourself on Christmas eve if there is nothing else to do
Dave: G'day eh? in case you thought like I wasn't on this part.
Bob: Oh i gaurentee ya, you'd be on.
Ok so good day, this is the Christmas part, and we're gonna tell ya what to get your true love for Christmas.
Dave: Look out the window!
bob: Where? Whaddya doin?
Doug:Snow!
Bob: Oh it's the great white north, and it's snowin cuz its Christmas time.
Hey, hoser! heres a quiz.. quiz for doug:
Doug: Ok, I got my thinking toque on!
Bob: Yeah, right. What are the 12 days of Christmas?
Doug: Um.
Bob: Cuz figure it out , right? Christmas is when?
Doug: The 25th.
Bob: Right, well whats the 24th? Xmas eve ,right.
Doug: Thats 2.
Bob: Then , whats after that?
Doug: Wrestling day
Bob: No.
Doug: Boxing day.
Bob: Thats 3. Then whats after that? Nothin'.
Doug: New years.
Bob: 4.
Doug: New years eve.
Bob: 5. Where da ya get 12?
Doug: Uh... theres 2 sat's and sun's in there , 4. Thats 9 and 3 other days which i believe are the mystery days.
Ok, this is our Christmas song, in case ya don't know what to get someone for Christmas.
Doug: Theres lotsa ideas in here, so listen and don't get stuck. By the way , thats me on the organ.
Bob: Ok geeze.
Doug: Ok, you start.
Bob: Ok, on the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.. beer.
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... 2 turtlenecks, and beer.
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.. 3 french toast, 2 turtlenecks, and beer. There should be more there, eh? Where?
On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.. 4lbs of backbacon, 3 french toast, 2 turtlenecks, and beer in a tree. Oh. See? ya need more.
On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.. 5 GOLDEN TOQUES! 4lbs of backbacon, 3 french toast, 2 turtlenecks, and beer in a tree.
On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.. 6 packs of two-four. 5 GOLDEN TOQUES! 4lbs of backbacon, 3 french toast, 2 turtlenecks, and beer in a tree.
Ok.
On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.. 7 packs of smokes, 6 packs of two-four, 5 GOLDEN TOQUES! 4lbs of backbacon, 3 french toast, 2 turtlenecks, and beer in a tree. oh, i keep forgettin'.
whew, this should be just the 2 days of xmas, this is too hard for us!
On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.. 8 comic books, 7 packs of smokes, 6 packs of two-four, 5 GOLDEN TOQUES! 4lbs of backbacon, 3 french toast, 2 turtlenecks, and beer in a tree.
Wow,That beers empty
Day 12.
G'day and welcome to day 12.
Yeah.
5 GOLDEN TOQUES! 4lbs of backbacon, 3 french toast, 2 turtlenecks, and beer in a tre-e.
Where did you learn to do that? Uh, Albums. Boy, so thats our song merry Christmas, and g'day. G'day everybody. Happy new years.
Ok, ya know what ya left out? What? Donuts. I told you to get me donuts. Oh no! Either on the 9th day, or the 10th day or the 11th day. I wanted donuts. The song is over merry Christmas everybody, or the 12th you coulda gotten me a dozen donuts. Go to the stores and get some presents. you coulda gone down to the donut shop where you buy a dozen donuts, you get another donut free. Then it coulda been 13 for the 13 days of Christmas.
Next Christmas, get me a chainsaw.
Take off!
Boy that song was a beauty.. it moved me. Yah , it ranks up there w/ stairway to heaven.
What?

12 Pains of Christmas (by Bob Rivers & Twisted Radio)

The first thing of christmas that's such a pain to me finding a christmas tree
The second thing of christmas that's such a pain to me rigging up the lights*
The third thing of christmas that's such a pain to me hangovers
The fourth thing of christmas that's such a pain to me sending christmas cards*
The fifth thing of christmas that's such a pain to me five months of bill
The sixth thing of christmas that's such a pain to me facing my in-laws
The seventh thing of christmas that's such a pain to me charities*
The eigth thing of christmas that's such a pain to me I want a transformers*
The ninth thing of christmas that's such a pain to me finding parking spaces
The tenth thing of christmas that's such a pain to me batteries not included
The eleventh thing of christmas that's such a pain to me stale tv specials
The 12th thing of christmas that's such a pain to me singing christmas carols

* these lyrics change the longer the song goes on

I found it on Itunes and it is a good laugh!