Not invited

CASIGKAP · #1 08-06-2004, 11:53 AM

O.K. I have a cousin who is getting married next month. The wedding invitations went out & my mother received one as well as one of my older sisters. We found out that my cousin did not want to pay $100 a plate per person so she excluded those she did not there & that included all children, an most of her side of the family including one of her brothers but not the grooms. His family will all be there unless they have kids. We were justifiably insulted and pretty upset that she would choose to do this. My mom already said she would not be attending the wedding but my sister is.
The rest of my family is upset with her for going b/c of the way all the rest of us were insulted & excluded. I feel that it's her right to go if she chooses to do so.
What do you think? Should she go or not?

F.Y.I. The other reason we were excluded was b/c she told us point blank that his well-to-do family is not used to being around people like us. We're not sure what this means but I'm afraid it's a reference to the fact that we're Latino & not white like his family.

Rudey · #2 08-06-2004, 11:56 AM

His well-to-do family can't afford extra guests?

-Rudey
--And Ricky Lake can eat all she wants and it won't show.

AXJules · #3 08-06-2004, 12:01 PM

That's bullshit. What an obnoxious group of people, and no offense but your cousin isn't really any better.

However, it is your mom's perogative...I can understand how everyone would be kind of pissy if she went. What about this? Tell her to go and be the wonderful person she is and show them exactly what "you people" are like.

-Jules
--Unless she sucks. Then she shouldn't go.

Peaches-n-Cream · #4 08-06-2004, 12:19 PM

Your sister and mother were invited, but you weren't. That's pretty rude. I can understand inviting only the aunts and uncles and not the cousins. Your mother is the bride's aunt, correct? To invite your sister and not you is just flat out rude.

We have had situations like this in my family over the years. I don't take it personally anymore.

aephi alum · #5 08-06-2004, 12:29 PM

Nice way to insult the family.

You should either invite all the cousins, or none of them (except for situations like "cousin #1 is like a sister to me, cousin #2 won't give me the time of day").

As for your sister, it's really up to her whether she goes or not. In her shoes, I probably wouldn't go, but that's just me.

Next Thanksgiving, invite everyone in the family except her. Tell her you didn't invite her because you only wanted one turkey at the table.

Jill1228 · #6 08-06-2004, 12:39 PM

CTFU! It is up to your mom and sister if they want to go but personally if I were them, I would NOT go.

(My mother in law is going thru a similar situation now with her grand niece getting married)

Quote:

Originally posted by aephi alum
Next Thanksgiving, invite everyone in the family except her. Tell her you didn't invite her because you only wanted one turkey at the table.

Lady Pi Phi · #7 08-06-2004, 12:44 PM

You should tell your sister not to go to the ceremony but show up at the reception and not bring a gift!

HA! (j/k...or am I)

That's very classless of your cousin.
I'm a little confused. You said that your family is Hispanic. Is your cousin not?

CASIGKAP · #8 08-06-2004, 01:04 PM

My mom will NOT be attending b/c she was insulted that the rest of us were not invited.
My sister is undecided b/c she too is insulted but my cousin & her grew up together and were really close as kids & teens though they are both now in their 30's.

The couple is paying for the wedding themselves b/c they said that if they allowed family to help pay, they would have had to invite everyone including children. They do not like kids at all.

Finally, we were invited to her bridal shower. I was shocked b/c it is my understanding that you only invite wedding guests to your showers. You do not invite people who are not welcome to your wedding and expect them to bring gifts. However, we did receive e-mails telling us where she was registered. I am not giving her any gift except to tell her she sucks!

Lady Pi Phi · #9 08-06-2004, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CASIGKAP
My mom will NOT be attending b/c she was insulted that the rest of us were not invited.
My sister is undecided b/c she too is insulted but my cousin & her grew up together and were really close as kids & teens though they are both now in their 30's.

The couple is paying for the wedding themselves b/c they said that if they allowed family to help pay, they would have had to invite everyone including children. They do not like kids at all.

Finally, we were invited to her bridal shower. I was shocked b/c it is my understanding that you only invite wedding guests to your showers. You do not invite people who are not welcome to your wedding and expect them to bring gifts. However, we did receive e-mails telling us where she was registered. I am not giving her any gift except to tell her she sucks!

Holy crap!!!

Seriously, you cousin needs a smack upside the head.

I can understand not inviting kids. Many people do not invite children to their wedding.
But you are hardly a child.
She's aalready insulted your family by inviting only some and not the others. She has already told you she didn't want you at her wedding because of your Hispanic heritage.
She's over the top. I honestly think you should send her email telling how completely insulted that you were not invited to the wedding yet she expects a gift and tell her how offensive it is.

texas*princess · #10 08-06-2004, 01:30 PM

**Round of applause for Lady Pi Phi**

Wow your cousin is def. something else! lol

I'm appalled that she would not invite members of your family to the wedding, but then invite them to the bridal shower, and on top of all that, directs you to their wedding registry so you can buy them gifts.

Whatever. Tell them to buy their own crap.. since they're saving all this money by not inviting you and other members of your family!!! hahaha

On a more serious note, Maybe she doesn't realize what she's doing here.. maybe she needs to be let in on how her actions are affecting other people...

That's just really not nice

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi

Holy crap!!!

Seriously, you cousin needs a smack upside the head.

I can understand not inviting kids. Many people do not invite children to their wedding.
But you are hardly a child.
She's aalready insulted your family by inviting only some and not the others. She has already told you she didn't want you at her wedding because of your Hispanic heritage.
She's over the top. I honestly think you should send her email telling how completely insulted that you were not invited to the wedding yet she expects a gift and tell her how offensive it is.

Peaches-n-Cream · #11 08-06-2004, 01:35 PM

I just thought of something. Maybe you are on the B list. I was on the B list and received an invitation a couple of weeks before my cousin's wedding. I guess too many A list guests declined so there was room for me and my sisters.

Maybe you should call or email your cousin and tell her that you think your invitation was lost in the mail since both your mother and sister received theirs.

aephi alum · #12 08-06-2004, 02:21 PM

That could be... but it is tacky even to have a B list for a wedding. Either you want someone there, or you don't. It will be blatantly obvious (as in Cream's case) that you were on the B list when you get your invitation 2 weeks before the wedding rather than 6 weeks before like everyone else... and that's an insult, maybe more of an insult than not being invited at all.

And you were invited to the shower??? Can you say "fishing for gifts" ???

adpialumcsuc · #13 08-06-2004, 02:45 PM

WOW!!!

Ok I know that it is her wedding and her day and she can do what she wants but that is just offensive. You don't invite someone to a shower and not to the wedding. To me that is just petty and saying "you can come to give me gifts but not the event" UMMMMM NOOOOO!!!!

There were people that I invited to my shower that I wouldn't have normally, because they had already informed me that they couldn't come to the wedding and would like to come to the shower.

_Lisa_ · #14 08-06-2004, 03:22 PM

My cousin didn't invite anyone to his wedding except his own parents. Not his two sisters or their families or even our grandmother. He said it was because her family couldn't afford to have a big wedding. I didn't mind not going 'cause I don't really know/like him anyway, but he broke my grandmother's heart by not inviting her!

SigKapBling · #15 08-06-2004, 03:28 PM

your cousin is just being totally classless. you dont do that to family members - especially when you said your sister and her were thisclose growing up.... that means you were at least SOMEWHAT close with her .... she is just being childish using the "you people" excuse. you are exactly that - PEOPLE. there is no need for her snotty remarks. in my eyes - you dont need to go to her wedding, because you'd just be overpaying for a dinner that you and your family could go out and have some where else -- and without the hassle !!