"Understanding Women For Dummies"....
1. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of cloths in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.
2. Women need to cry. And they won't do it unless they know you can hear them.
3. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
4. Women need to feel like there are pepole worse off than they are. That's why soap opras and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
5. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fufills the emotional need.
6. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
7. Women think all beer is the same.
8. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
9. If a man goes on a 7 day trip, he'll pack 5 days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a 7 day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
10. Watch a woman eat an icecream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.
11. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
12. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
13. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
14. Women don't try as hard as men during sex; afterall, they don't fall asleep afterwards.
15. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'
16. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast size.
17. "Oh, nothing" has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.
18.Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.
19. WOMEN FAKE ORGASMS BECAUSE MEN FAKE FOREPLAY.
20. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.
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I am going to print this out, frame it, and but it on my office wall.
HumbleBumbleBee 
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