My long, sordid rush story...need advice!

[beachgal118]

Hey y'all! Okay, I have been lurking around greek chat for about a year and have yet to post. I have seen how kind and helpful everyone is, so I know that you all can give me some good advice. Okay- I went to an out -of -state college where I didn't know a single person. I'd rather not say where until after rush . It is in the south, but I'm not sure you would consider it to have a true "southern rush". Anyways, I went through rush last year (as a freshman) and it was a disaster. I didnt get any recs (they are supposedly "not necessary, but helpful" at my school, but I have a feeling they are more important than that). I went into recruitment with an open mind, and was excited about finding a sisterhood that was right for me. Well, after the first round of rush, I was disappointed that a couple of houses had cut me, but was generally optomistic because I still had some great houses to return to, including my favorite. However, right before the house tours, I was heavily cut. I was only asked back to 3 houses, when most people attended 5 parties that day. I was extremely upset. Of the 3 houses I went to, I only saw myself as potentially belonging to one. But even that was a stretch. Around this time, I found out that my aunt was an alum of my favorite house (which I had been cut from). I know that doesnt make me a direct legacy, but it still could have helped. The rest of rush is a blur, I just remember crying every night on the phone with my parents. When it came time to sign my bid card, I had no idea what to do. I wanted to join a sorority, but not just any sorority. I wanted to belong to a group that I was excited about and where I felt I belonged. I wanted to be all about the house I joined. At the same time, I knew that if I didn't go greek at all, I would miss out on a lot. I talked this over and over with my rho chi. I suspected she belonged to the house I had fallen in love with, so I felt a little akward. I could tell she was really hesitant to give me advice. My other rho chi told me that I could give it a try, and if I didnt like it, I could drop before initiation. I ended up suiciding the house that I sort of liked and I got the bid. Unfortunately, this was not one of those cases where you end up loving the house that you weren't crazy about at the beginning. It just was not right for me- I was miserable. I also kept wondering "what if I had known my aunt belonged to xyz?" and "what if i rushed again?" (being a sophomore rushee doesnt hinder one too much at my school) I kept in touch with my rho chi (who did in fact belong to my fave house). She told me that if I didn't like it and would not be happy there for four years, then I should de-pledge and that I would still have the opportunity to rush again next year. After weeks of trying to decide what to do, I depledged. In retrospect, I know I made the right choice because to me, your letters are forever. It wouldnt have been fair to me or the org that I joined if I had stayed because my heart wasn't in it. ALso, I am sooo excited about rushing next year. I have recs secured to most of the chapters, I know what to expect, and I feel much more prepared. Last year was a wake up call for me; in high school everything came easily for me. I was dance team captain, national honor society, straight A's, homecoming queen, and all that. My bad rush experience was actually a blessing-I learned that I can fall flat on my face and pick myself up and that I can make it on my own, at a college where nobody knows who I am. It was very humbling. I stilll have my favorite house, but know that I would be happy in several others as well. I'm not going to be dead set on that one house. Given all this, what do you all think about my situation? I'm really nervous about having another bad experience. I'm also not looking forward to going back to the house that I de-pledged during rush. Any words of wisdom or advice? I've done enough rambling for one night!