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Old 10-18-2002, 05:39 AM
Shine Shine is offline
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Collegian dissapointed with greek experience, seeking advice about Alumnae Initiation

I'd like to start off by thanking Cutie for her support. Also, pardon the length on this, I just feel the need to vent and fully explain myself. I'd really like any advice on this that you all could offer me.

I've always known since I was little that I wanted to be in a sorority.

(Fall 2000) Once I got to college, I was totally jazzed to rush. I thought I had found a small but great sisterhood to be a part of.

A week before initiation, my father was at a really bad point in his cancer (he died a year later) and my family was very short on money. I told my big about this. She called me down to her room a few hours later, and looked me right in the face and said this:

"If you were truly dedicated to becoming a sister of XYZ, you'd find away around your financial situation."

I ripped off my pledge pin and threw it in her face. She made no suggestions to help me. I didn't want a part of any sisterhood that had a woman like my big. That chapter ended up dissolving the next semester.

(Spring 2001) A friend of mine invited me to a rush event for her service sorority. They said their main focus was service, but talked a lot about how they do a ton of sisterhood events and focus a lot on bonding. My first year was a lot of fun.

(Spring 2002) I went on Leave of Absence beacuse of stress from school and my dad's death. A friend of mine in another NPC here asked me to come to a COB just for fun. Nothing came of this.

Near the end of the semester, the president of the service sorority asked me to do the chapter's website. I spent 3 days straight working on the site. Everyone loved it. Elections came around, and I was nominated to run for PR chair.

The Q&A session on election night was hell. I had brash and rude accusations thrown at me regarding my reasons for going LOA, and my mental stability after my father's death. I had no idea any of my sisters had these feelings about me.

(Summer 2002) One night the current PR chair called me and told me we were moving the site to a domain the e-board had purchased for the chapter. During the site copy, a lot of things copied wrong. She kept dodging me when I tried to get the passwords to fix it. Then one day, she sent a mass e-mail to the sorority telling them all about the site that SHE did, and the ideas that SHE had. Well, I'll tell you, I wrote the site, and WE came up with the ideas, so it was all bullshit. Half of the sisters sided with me, because they knew the truth, but her friends sided with her.

When I went to the president, I was told that because I am on a committee, that the chair of that commitee gets credit for the work the committee does. Also, I had to get together with an e-board member for every update, because they didn't want me to run unchecked.

(Fall 2002) These events caused a lot of in-fighting and bitterness. The sorority has nearly done a 180 degree turn away from what it was when we pledged. We no longer did any of the fun sisterhood or social events that were promised and prominent in the rush schpeal they gave all the rushees. We started making a lot of service events mandatory, and not having the selection of events that was promised us at rush.

I found out through talking to my big, that the women that were in office when I rushed were leftovers of the heyday of the sorority. They fully supported the "sorority" aspect of my service org, and loved to plan mixers, socials, and sisterhood events. The current e-board is different. They are stringent on the fact that the sorority is a service organization, and have many times stated that we are above "social greek type" activities, and that we should bond through service only.

My problems were not the only ones that happened this semester. The current e-board forced women on LOA because they had to work or had class on meeting nights. They voted down every proposal for a social or philanthropy with a fraternity.

I finally sat back and said to myself...

THIS ISN'T SISTERHOOD.

...and I turned in my dissasociation notice.

I've been very discouraged by these events. I have a ton of friends, male and female, but I've always wanted to experience a sorority in it's fullest, with friendship, ritual, and above all, sisterhood.

So, what do I do? I only have 2 or 3 semesters left here, so it's not really feasable for me to go through NPC recruitment again.

Should I hold out as a collegiate and concentrate on my studies, and consider Alumnae Initiation?

Or should I give up on the idea of greek life altogether?



Thank you for your time.

Last edited by Shine; 10-18-2002 at 05:54 AM.
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