Collegian dissapointed with greek experience, seeking advice about Alumnae Initiation
 

I'd like to start off by thanking Cutie for her support. Also, pardon the length on this, I just feel the need to vent and fully explain myself. I'd really like any advice on this that you all could offer me.

I've always known since I was little that I wanted to be in a sorority.

(Fall 2000) Once I got to college, I was totally jazzed to rush. I thought I had found a small but great sisterhood to be a part of.

A week before initiation, my father was at a really bad point in his cancer (he died a year later) and my family was very short on money. I told my big about this. She called me down to her room a few hours later, and looked me right in the face and said this:

"If you were truly dedicated to becoming a sister of XYZ, you'd find away around your financial situation."

I ripped off my pledge pin and threw it in her face. She made no suggestions to help me. I didn't want a part of any sisterhood that had a woman like my big. That chapter ended up dissolving the next semester.

(Spring 2001) A friend of mine invited me to a rush event for her service sorority. They said their main focus was service, but talked a lot about how they do a ton of sisterhood events and focus a lot on bonding. My first year was a lot of fun.

(Spring 2002) I went on Leave of Absence beacuse of stress from school and my dad's death. A friend of mine in another NPC here asked me to come to a COB just for fun. Nothing came of this.

Near the end of the semester, the president of the service sorority asked me to do the chapter's website. I spent 3 days straight working on the site. Everyone loved it. Elections came around, and I was nominated to run for PR chair.

The Q&A session on election night was hell. I had brash and rude accusations thrown at me regarding my reasons for going LOA, and my mental stability after my father's death. I had no idea any of my sisters had these feelings about me.

(Summer 2002) One night the current PR chair called me and told me we were moving the site to a domain the e-board had purchased for the chapter. During the site copy, a lot of things copied wrong. She kept dodging me when I tried to get the passwords to fix it. Then one day, she sent a mass e-mail to the sorority telling them all about the site that SHE did, and the ideas that SHE had. Well, I'll tell you, I wrote the site, and WE came up with the ideas, so it was all bullshit. Half of the sisters sided with me, because they knew the truth, but her friends sided with her.

When I went to the president, I was told that because I am on a committee, that the chair of that commitee gets credit for the work the committee does. Also, I had to get together with an e-board member for every update, because they didn't want me to run unchecked.

(Fall 2002) These events caused a lot of in-fighting and bitterness. The sorority has nearly done a 180 degree turn away from what it was when we pledged. We no longer did any of the fun sisterhood or social events that were promised and prominent in the rush schpeal they gave all the rushees. We started making a lot of service events mandatory, and not having the selection of events that was promised us at rush.

I found out through talking to my big, that the women that were in office when I rushed were leftovers of the heyday of the sorority. They fully supported the "sorority" aspect of my service org, and loved to plan mixers, socials, and sisterhood events. The current e-board is different. They are stringent on the fact that the sorority is a service organization, and have many times stated that we are above "social greek type" activities, and that we should bond through service only.

My problems were not the only ones that happened this semester. The current e-board forced women on LOA because they had to work or had class on meeting nights. They voted down every proposal for a social or philanthropy with a fraternity.

I finally sat back and said to myself...

THIS ISN'T SISTERHOOD.

...and I turned in my dissasociation notice.

I've been very discouraged by these events. I have a ton of friends, male and female, but I've always wanted to experience a sorority in it's fullest, with friendship, ritual, and above all, sisterhood.

So, what do I do? I only have 2 or 3 semesters left here, so it's not really feasable for me to go through NPC recruitment again.

Should I hold out as a collegiate and concentrate on my studies, and consider Alumnae Initiation?

Or should I give up on the idea of greek life altogether?

:confused: :confused: :confused:

Thank you for your time. :)

Re: Collegian dissapointed with greek experience, seeking advice about Alumnae Initiation
 

Not necessarily!! As I've said before on here, my little pledged at the beginning of her senior year. She only had 2 semesters as an active, but believe me, she got more out of those 2 semesters than a lot of girls got out of 4 years.

A lot depends on your school of course, but if older women pledging is a common thing, I would say go for it. There will be questions about your Greek "history", but just be straight up and explain your story.

You have been through the wringer girlfriend. ;) Good luck!

check your PMs, Shine!

Shine,

I agree with 33girl. Just because you only have 2 or 3 semesters left doesn't mean that you can experience and participate fully in greek life at your school. I didn't pledge until last winter which was my last semester of my third year. I will be graduating in April. While it will be only a short time that I am a collegian I am trying to make the most of it. Better late than never I say.
I would try again. I know you're feeling dejected, but I think it's worth it to try again.

Best of luck,

PPL,

Emily

I know that at my school, it takes an EXCEPTIONAL woman to get pledged after her sophomore year. I mean gorgeous, straight A, transfer student kind of exceptional. The two sororities that were known for COB and being accepting of all types of women have dissolved in the past 2 years. Also, having been through rush once, I do know that none of the 10 chapters on my campus are a place I could call home. The organizations are wonderful, and the women are amazing, but I never really felt totally at-home and comfortable with the ideas of calling those particular groups sisters for life. On top of all of that, the Greek system at my school is VERY troubled right now. Our 4 top fraternities got booted for either hazing or participating in the porn that was filmed on our campus. Greek life here is kinda weary right now, and I don't know if I want to get into that whole scene.

Hmmm.....based on this, I would probably say wait until after college and look into alumnae initiation at that time.

Also, I wanted to mention a non-collegiate sorority, Beta Sigma Phi. They have tons of chapters and recruit many women who are older than college-aged. localsororities is a GC'er and a Beta Sigma Phi and she could probably chime in with some wise words regarding them.
www.betasigmaphi.org/

I'm sorry to hear that you have been through such an ordeal. :(
Hopefully you can have a happy ending after all.

I still think you need to consider membership now. You can be a valuable resource for those younger than you and your interest means you'll carry on and stay a valuable alum. Alum initiates are great, but they still miss out on he wonderful experiences that you can't get anywhere but a collegiate chapter.

It concerns me that you don't think there is a single group that you might be comfortable with on your campus. If you don't move a considerable distance when you graduate, who do you think you'll have in an alum group? The same women. One way or another or wherever you are, when you join any group you will still have to get to know new people and build relationships.

Question ... your tag information says you are from Tempe. Are you at Arizona State? If so, beware that a new NPC chapter will be forming a colony in January. I know that Kappa Delta and Delta Delta Delta gave presentations.

Whichever group is chosen, they will be looking for capable women of ALL classes to form the chapter. In this case, being an upperclass woman is an asset.

I'd suggest that you contact the Greek Life office and see when the colony activities will start.

Good luck.

AXi, I had no idea that all was going on. I know the Tri-Deltas had a chapter here in the 80's, and I'd heard something way back in the day about the KD's being interested in colonizing. It makes sense, though because there are two spots open with Tri-Sigma and Sigma Kappa having dissolved in the last year. Thanks for the heads up. I just may get in on some of that and check it out. A good friend of mine helped colonize her chapter in Illinois, and she said it was a great experience. I'll definately be getting in touch with the greek advisors ASAP.

Now to get my GPA back up above 3.0. ;)

And doubleblue...I have rushed, and I have a lot of friends in the sororities here at ASU. However, I did not feel a big connection with any of the houses that are here. I'm sure you know from experience, but you know how you just get THAT FEELING when you know what's right for you? I never felt that. I don't want to go greek just for the sake of going greek. I want to do it because I fall in love with a chapter, and feel at home there. I do plan on relocating to Los Angeles or New York city when I graduate, so that is quite a distance.

I'll definatley be checking out that colonization info.

Good Luck
 

Good luck shine. I'm so proud of you! If you need anything feel free to pm me. :) Also CutiePie2000 I checked out that Beta Sigma Phi website that's really interesting. Thanks for posting the web addy.

Thanks CutiePie2000........
 

for mentioning Beta Sigma Phi!

OPAGal and Shine........please come visit us on the Beta Sigma Phi forum! There is another sister of OPA in the process of finding (or starting) a Beta chapter, and you'll find several other threads about new sisters and new chapters. Stop by!

Erica

FYI Shine - KD is definitely recolonizing at ASU in the spring. We will probably start rush in January sometime.

I was only in my chapter for 3 semesters, and it was one of the most worthwhile experiences of my life. You also have to remember that sorority involvement doesn't end with graduation. I was only moderately active in the house when I was a collegian, and now that I'm an alumna I've been on all kinds of boards and committees, and just took over as our AA president. I hope you will consider going through NPC rush again. You sound like the kind of girl any house should be proud to have!

Lindsay :)

Shine, I also think it would be a great idea for you to look into the colony, because, as someone already mentioned, they will be looking for great women of all ages.

If you don't think you're going to pursue that and you're still interested in alumna initiation, you might want to take some time (if you haven't already) to check out the websites of all the NPC organizations. Each site is different and, I think, gives you a great insight into what each org. is about and gives you a good feel for which might be right for you. Of course, nothing beats meeting the members, but you would probably want to narrow down your choices before jumping in, you know?

Whatever you do, I wish you the best, and hope you will keep us updated! :)

I hope neither of you give up the idea fo affiliation while you are still an undergrad!

When I started the local, I was 25. I was a member of the local for one year and LXA for one year before I graduated.

You may seem old to some but wait till you get 65 then worry about it! :)

I was at 2 different places this week, 1 in Melbourne Fl at the Chapter there BN where I was not the oldest by 1 month and he is the Historian of LXA and the other was a the PSU and NWMU game Thur. where I was with my Local Brothers!

I was made to feel so welcome in different was damn was it great.

As some one who may not be there as long as the Freshman class, you have a lot of knowledge and experience that would, should and could benefit and Org.

They may not understand taht so get to several one on ones and discuss it!:cool:

Best to both of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

Shine,
I did not realize that there were some colonies in the works at ASU for early 2003. If you have heard rumours of Kappa Delta colonizing at ASU, I would get in touch with KD via email and find out for sure whether that is definitely happening. After all, you would want them to know about your interest, too, right?

I had a surf around the KD website,
http://www.kappadelta.org/contact/email_list.htm and it would appear that you would would want to email this lady;
Christina Shifflett, Chapter Services Coordinator at
ChapterServices1@KappaDelta.org
because one of her areas is "Extension Support".
Colonies, fall under the auspices of Expansion or Extension...that sort of thing.

Hope that this helps.
____________________
A few minutes later...
I just found this thread..be sure to check it out:
New KD chapter at ASU