Change of heart...

[CRMSNTiDEGRL717]

Ya'll, I don't know what's happening. Now, after fall orientation, I'm not so sure I wanna join a sorority anymore I just started having all these doubts and conflicting feelings. After meeting so many awesome people who aren't planning on rushing or anything, I'm not so sure I want to. I'm still going to rush, but I guess I'll just see how it goes. What if someday I just have something I want to do more than go to my chapter meeting, or I don't feel like going to that mixer w/ XYZ b/c my non-greek friends are doing something really fun that night too?????!!!!! Ok, I just don't know what's going on w/ me. What if joining a sorority restricts me from diversifying(sp?) myself and/or my friendships w/ other??? I know all of you sorority gals and fraternity guys have non-greek friends also, but what if I enjoy hanging out w/ my GDI friends more and my sorority feels like I'm dissing them or they wish they had never extended me a bid? Ok, I have a lot more on my mind about this, but it would be a REALLY long post, so can someone offer me any piece of advice or just share a similar experiece or the doubts you had before rushing? Thanks everyone
Liz


[This message has been edited by CRMSNTiDEGRL717 (edited July 20, 2001).]

[Corbin Dallas]

Chapter is at the same time on the same night every week. Sometimes it may take longer than others, but for the most part you can plan around that. As far as maybe not wanting to go to other events, I don't know about sororities, but for fraternities, they're not all mandatory, in fact the only ones that are are usually brothers only or philanthropy events. You don't have to close yourself off to the rest of the world. I have many friends in other fraternities, or in none at all. Of course, the guys I hang out with most are in my house, but joining a fraternity seems a lot different than joining a sorority, from the point of rush anyway. I would say if you don't feel like you can give 100% to a group, don't join. Wait until spring or next fall if you don't click with a group of girls. You sound like the type of girl that wouldn't settle for whatever you can get (I know this sounds harsh, but to me that's what the sor. rush process sounds like it can be at times. i don't mean that completely, but it's the best way I could think to say it) Anyway, just make sure it's a group you feel comfortable with. When I joined my frat. I made friends with the guys first, so they were who I wanted to hang out with and do stuff with before I joined, so I didn't feel an obligation to do it. I just wanted to! I hope my ramblings are of some assistance.

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Steve Corbin
Lambda Chi Alpha
Theta Kappa Chapter
Rose-Hulman Inst. of Tech.

[Aphigal]

When I was in school I was a member of a sorority AND editor of my campus paper, and on student senate and worked 10 hours a week.

Not to mention I was an officier in my sorority and that I played intramurals with my house.

I had greek and non greek friends. Being in a sorority is only part of your campus experience. Go thru rush you will never regret being greek!!

[erniegurl00]

I suggest rethinking the original reasons of why you wanted to go Greek. Have these reasons changed now? At our chapter nothing is mandatory except for chapter meetings and philanthropy events. Our chapters are on Sunday night because not a lot of things are going on then (and every house on my campus is this way!). It's very easy to manage your life around sorority things, and don't worry about your sisters being offended. I did that last semester when I met my bf who went to another college. I hated going to chapters because that meant I'd have to leave him early, so I know how you feel! Sometimes it can be hard at first to manage your sorority and other aspects of your life, but it CAN be done. My busiest time was just during my month pledgeship, and then things really settled down. I think it's a good idea to go ahead and go through rush and see what it's like. If you still think that you'd like to wait then wait a year and see if you're mind has changed. Good luck!

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"We're not good because we're old. We're old because we're good!"

[M Gerrick]

By all means, I would encourage you to go through recruitment. I can remember waiting in between parties thinking 'is this what I really want to do', and being so happy the day I joined. Everyone has doubts at one time or another. I was at school for two years before going through recruitment, and to this day I kick myself for not joining earlier. You will always have non-greek friends, friends in other groups, and plenty of time to do the things that are important to you. Being greek will make your college years more memorable, you will be more involved on campus because of your greek affiliation, and you will be a lifetime member of an organization. I advise my sorority, and even 11 years after graduating, I continue to have fulfilling sorority experiences. Only now I have a chance to mentor young women and give back a little to an organization that has given me so much.

I wish you the best of luck with recruitment. Just wait, when you're going to pick up your bid and when you find out where you are a sister, it will be one of the most exciting and memorable times of your life!!! Let us know how it turns out for you!!

[amycat412]

I was in a sorority, had a boyfriend all thru college, had many non greek friends, worked 20 hours a week, maintained Dean's List grades junior and senior years and never regretted being Greek.

Chapter was on Mondays for us, all houses were the same. We were done by 9 or 10 and everyone went out after that. Nothing other than Chapter was mandatory.

Look at it this way, if you don't go Greek, you may regret never going thru Rush to see what could have happened. If you do go Greek, and find out its not for you (which I don't think you will), you can leave your GLO.

I was not sure at orientation I wanted to go thru Rush so I didn't. I regretted it the instant I got to campus and saw everyone who was going thru Rush.

I think, when you're interested in greek life, and you go to a school with a huge Greek system, it becomes hard to avoid and you do find yourself wishing you were a part of it. That is how I felt my freshman year.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[shadokat]

I'd say that if you're going to a school where recruitment is a big thing as a freshman, you at least go through and see what you think. I know I said I'd never join a sorority and all that...then a few of my friends did, and I got to see all the fun they were having. Maybe these people who are saying they aren't joining a sorority aren't aware of all the fun that goes along with it. When they see what fun you're having, they may consider joining themselves!

Like others, I had great grades, worked 20 hours a week, was in two other campus orgs and was on my sorority's leadership team. PLUS, I had plenty of GDI friends who I hung out with.

Going through recruitment will give you an idea of the time commitment you will have to put in, and then make a decision.

[ilovemyglo]

I went through rush as a sophomore. I already had a lot of friends so that wasnt the thing for me and most of them aren't greek. I chose to join a sorority. That is me and they didn't but think it is pretty cool. I am also in Phi Eta Sigma, Kappa Alpha Tau (journalism) and Golden Key National Honor society. I work at the student radio station and hold the second highest position there, plus I am Vice PResident of Recruitment for my sorority and I have never recieved a C in college. You can do ANYTHING you want in college, that is the greatest thing about it!! I love college because I can express myself in so many ways with so many other people. Keep in mind that your sorority is something that is a part of you, not ALL of you!
Sarah

[CRMSNTiDEGRL717]

My reasons for joining a sorority have remained the same. I know it'll be awesome and most of my doubts are unfounded, but from the outside how are you supposed to know? So, yes, I am still DEFINITELY going through rush, but as of right now I'm not nearly as gung-ho about it. This is the second time I've gone all doubtful about this.
UA does have a really large greek system and about 900 girls go through rush every year. So, for my school rush works out best if you go through your freshmen year. All of it seems like so much fun, everything, but if I compare that to something else non-greek I can see it being just as great. BUT, since all of you have told me how much you've been involved in besides your sorority, it puts me a TEENSY bit more at ease. So, thank you all Liz

[Greek_Girl]

I'll be rushing this fall as a sophomore.As someone who has completed their freshmen year as an "independent" girl (as non greeks are referred at my school), I feel like I've sort of experienced both sides. I have a big group of really close friends at my school. About half of us are greek and half of us aren't. Although I sometimes went out with my friends and other girls in their sorority, most of the time it was just me and my friends. Just because you become Greek doesn't mean you can't have non Greek friends. If the sorority you pick discourages you from associating with people who aren't greek or aren't you sisters, maybe they aren't the right one for you. I can't imagine a sorority telling you who you are allowed to be friends with though. I know that I am now close to the sorority that my friends are in. They didn't discourage my friends from hanging out with me-they actually encourage it and ask me to do stuff with them.
If you are really having doubts about it, always remember to ask about it during rush. We are supposed to ask questions, right? That sounds like a really good one especially since you are really worried about it! I hope this made sense....it's late

[AlphaChiGirl]

I can understand your concerns. Most of my best friends at school are non-Greek, and I date a GDI. Greek life does not dictate MY life...and it's a genuine concern to wonder if your life will be dictated by your affiliation. I think it just depends on the person and circumstances...some girls' entire lives revolve around the house and they don't have any other extracurricular activity, but then there are others with wide and diverse lives. I think it just comes down to making the effort.

Once again...another reason I like Deferred Rush.

[33girl]

Liz -

Hey sweetie - so your whole life is going to change in a little over a month and you've got butterflies in the tummy? Congrats, you are normal! Just to reiterate what everyone else has said - meetings will always be the same time each week and your non-Greek friends will be aware of that - just like if they have a meeting for their org the same time every week. If you've been involved in a ton of things in high school, you might not be able to involved in as many different activities but you will get more out of the ones you are involved with. I don't think there was a single sister in my chapter who didn't have non-Greek friends or wasn't involved in extracurriculars.

I'm glad to see you're thinking all this through in advance and not just getting caught up in the excitement - it shows a lot of maturity. Good luck, and I know you'll have fun at rush!

[Dianne]

With the doubts you are having, I would normally suggest waiting a semester or two to rush. But you are going to a large Southern state school with an ENORMOUS greek system. It is very difficult to get a bid if you rush as a sophomore. I can tell you that you DON'T have to go to every mixer (but why you wouldn't want to is beyond me), you can plan around chapter meetings, you can still get good grades (I am in the Honors Program and have a 3.6 GPA), and you can have non-greek friends and boyfriends. By joining a sorority, you do gain a whole new family of girls you will WANT to hang out with all the time b/c you'll think they're just the awesomest girls ever. But the point of a sorority is not to alienate you from every other aspect of college life. Your sisters will want you to be involved. They'll be proud of you when you get good grades. They'll want to meet your non-greek friends (b/c a change of scenery is always refreshing). A sorority is a support system for all the things you want to do; it's not this exclusive thing where you have to be initiated to even have a conversation with them. Go through rush. If you hate it, you don't have to accept a bid. But my guess (from my own observations of girls in your exact same position) is that you will end up loving it and want to be in a sorority more than anything. It's normal to be scared and doubtful, but it's so worth it! Good luck!

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"Seek the noblest."
Zeta Love! <3

[Dianne]

I thought I'd add this one thing. You mentioned that you thought you would have just as much fun if you stayed independent. True, you will probably make great friends and have tons of fun by staying independent. But by being greek, you share something special with your group of friends that independents don't share with each other. You and your sisters will share the secrets of your sorority. Independents don't have cool secret stuff like greeks do.

[Angelic]

When girls going through rush at my school ask about the commitment level I tell them that sorority life is whatever you make of it. You can be involved as much as you can handle. Some girls in my sorority have heavy time commitments with athletics and can only attend chapter and the other mandatory events while pi phi is top priority on other girls lists. We do not punish or love the girls less who have other commitments.
More than likely the sororities will encourage you to get involved with other things and hang out with non-greek people. Besides being involved in my sorority I am also on the school dance team, on student government and I have been able to maintain a 3.8 gpa in a highly demanding major (Chemical Engineering). I have lots of friends that are not greek and my bf is also non greek. I love my non greek friends. And my sisters respect that.
I know that rush is very stressful but don't worry. Go through recruitment and if you find a group of girls that you get along with I'm sure that they will love and respect you no matter what else you decide to do with your time at school.