Getting your last choice

[hithere112]

I noticed that a lot of people always say trust the system, or you end up where you are meant to. There is also a thread that deals with not getting your first choice. Going through rush it would have been really helpful to have a thread that dealt with getting your last choice house. What do you do when you open your bid card or you have to go to one pref with that struggling chapter? No pc words here folks. I received that chapter and am currently trying to make the best of it, but sometimes I'm still really unsure. What IS keeping me there is how nice all the girls are and that they really wanted me to be there, and sometimes girls do not get any houses back. Would really love to hear your thoughts!

[SewSheKnits]

First off, congratulations on your bid! I think you've hit it on the head. You've said that what is keeping you there is how nice all of the girls are and the fact that they wanted you. That is exactly what you should be looking for and I'm so happy for you that you've found it. I was afraid as I began reading that you were going to say that you received a bid but the girls were not friendly or welcoming and that the chapter was struggling. From what I hear, even the "best" chapters have issues within to include not having a strong bond among sisters. So, the best thing you can do now besides enjoying getting to know your new sisters is to see where you might fit in to help that chapter become stronger. You've certainly got a good foundation with a group of really nice girls. Get involved and enjoy every minute! If it makes you feel better, there are probably some girls who ended up with their first choice and are sometimes really unsure. Hang in there! Sounds like you were willing to give this house a chance because they saw something special in you. That's great advice for all PNM's who find themselves in this situation.

[ZTA1550]

Originally Posted by SewSheKnits

So, the best thing you can do now besides enjoying getting to know your new sisters is to see where you might fit in to help that chapter become stronger. You've certainly got a good foundation with a group of really nice girls. Get involved and enjoy every minute!

This is brilliant advice. Hopefully you know your own strengths, and definitely you know what interests you. There are so many opportunities for leadership in EVERY chapter. Figure out what you will enjoy and where you can make an impact and GO FOR IT! Congratulations on your bid!

[azureblue]

I think that you have a great opportunity to be a leader and help this chapter grow. It sounds like you get along with these women and that you feel comfortable there. Being a member of a Panhellenic sorority provides you with so many opportunities, lifetime connections and real-world skills.

Why did you go through FFR? It was to be a part of a wonderful group of women, focusing on sisterhood, scholarship, leadership and social activities.

Many women...those who get their first/second/third choice...feel really unsure at first. I would give it a chance. Go to meetings, hang out with your new member class, connect with the older girls.

They are lucky to have you

[etadrisophila]

While reading typical recruitment stories, it becomes clear that over the process of recruitment, PNMs' perspectives regarding chapter ranking evolves. As you indicated, there is probably no one thread that identifies a recruitment story in which the PNM accepts a bid from her "last choice".

Yet as you read the threads and sort through the evolving patchwork quilt/kaleidescope of the process of recruitment, you'll see that PNM's may indeed have ended up choosing what was perhaps initially their "last choice".

Those posting recruitment stories may not specifically characterize their recruitment outcomes as their 'last choice' but there is ultimately a point in which the OP concludes that "X" chapter is now her first (and perhaps only) choice.

With all due respect to the OP "Wishful" - because I don't know she specifically would have characterized her house as her last choice - here is an example of one such evolving recruitment processes.

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=129291

Indeed, there are more such stories out there - you just won't find them necessarily by the titles of the threads.

Please please please hang in there. You will NEVER regret it!

[Kevin]

A bit of a lane swerve for me, but OP, your post reeks of entitlement. I'm not sure it was intentional, but it really seems like you think you're too good for this chapter. The reality is, those chapters you think you were born to be in, for whatever reason, did not want you. The thing to do first is dispel any notion that you are too good for the chapter you got into. You are exactly that good. The system worked, you are where you are meant to be.

Now you can choose either to have a great time and really embrace this or forever wallow in self-pity. Do you think all of the sisters in your new chapter felt like you do when they were selected? I truly doubt it.

[FSUZeta]

There was a girl who rushed when I was at FSU that could have had her pick of all the chapters. She was the whole package-beautiful, smart, sweet, activities, and recommendations. At the time, several of the chapters were struggling with membership numbers, and in fact, several chapters left campus due to low numbers.

All week long she had her pick of invitations, and attended 3 pref. parties, one of which was her legacy house, which was one of the struggling chapters. She baffled everyone by joining that chapter. She told a sorority sister of mine that that chapter needed her more than her other 2 choices. What everyone thought should have been her last choice was her first, so there she differs from you.

She was a breath of fresh air for that chapter, and in the 4 years she spent on campus, their numbers improved and they became stronger and stronger. You can be that girl for your chapter.

Your chapter is so much more than itself. It is just a cog in the wheel of your national organization. I can honestly say that my alumna years have been even better than my collegiate ones. Not to say that you will not cherish your collegiate years-just that maybe while you are experiencing all the fun activities, sisterhoods, parties and rituals of your collegiate years, you remember that the best may be yet to come.

[azureblue]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Your chapter is so much more than itself. It is just a cog in the wheel of your national organization. I can honestly say that my alumna years have been even better than my collegiate ones.

^ I agree with this 100%^ It is so hard for collegians to see the big picture sometimes.

[hithere112]

first of all thank you to everyone to replying and giving such great advice. In reality this group has everything I was looking for and I'm becoming more and more excited each day. Can't wait for game days and things like scandals! To Kevin, sorry if my post offended you. I WILL be more careful about oversharing in the future. The process is just really fresh right now. Again thank you so much everyone, I won't give up and each kind word inspires me!

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by hithere112

To Kevin, sorry if my post offended you!

No problems whatsoever. I don't know of a single NPC group at OU where you're going to have a sub par experience. Yes, some of the houses are considered more selective. I have a cousin who is (if memory serves) a member of Gamma Phi Beta up there and my sister in law who graduated a few years ago is a Chi Omega.

Just be positive.

[irishpipes]

I'll be a little un-pc here myself. Try looking online at some other chapters of your sorority. I guarantee you are "top-tier" at some of the most prestigious greek systems in the country. One of the most sought-after chapters at OU struggles at OSU. Another struggles at Tulsa. One of the "lower-tier" chapters at OU is tops at UCO. Two upper-mid chapters at OSU closed at OU.

My point is, every sorority has chapters that aren't top-tier. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Maybe that doesn't help while you're in the collegiate bubble, but it is part of why so many of us on GC are more Panhellenic - we have graduated and realize that after college, most people don't care too much if you were an XYZ or an ABC.

If you truly dislike your experience, by all means, drop and move on to something more enjoyable. But since you seem to like the girls so far, remember the things that being in a sorority can offer - you will be able to participate in Sooner Scandals, Greek Week, Derby Days, gameday spreads at the chapter house, philanthropy events with your chapter and with other fraternities and sororities, going to convention, participating in recruitment as an active, etc. You'll buy a white dress for initiation like every other sorority woman at OU, you'll wear a beautiful badge, you'll have party t-shirts and favors from mixers.

What you experience will almost certainly be remarkably similar to what the girls in the top chapters experience. If hanging around with these girls is something you enjoy, don't let the tiers that other people created take that away from you. Best of luck and congratulations on your bid.

[FSUZeta]

Hooray!!!

[DubaiSis]

One of the great things about RFM is it allows virtually every girl to find a home and with enough girls brave enough to take the risk on "that" chapter, "that" chapter will over the course of just a few years become one of the chapters right in the mix. There are plenty of schools where there really isn't a clearly delineated bottom chapter, and yours can absolutely do the same thing because of girls like you who sucked it up about being disappointed and made the best of it. If your chapter isn't filled with entitled hos, then you have a good start.

You can improve your chapter standing by being visible in the best possible sense. Wear your letters with pride and always look your best. Be involved, and bring sisters along. Have fun in public. If you are in a situation where you will be doing ongoing COB (pledging new members outside of fall formal rush), go out of your way to make friends with all kinds of women on campus, and that means Greek-affiliated and independent. That girl in the "it" chapter may have a friend who didn't pledge. She knows her chapter doesn't have room for her, but "that" chapter has some really nice girls (you), and she might feel comfortable recommending you as an alternative. Because hell to the no about recommending her to those byatches at the "it #2" chapter.

Would it be easier to be in the chapter who has no issues with their social status or rush outside of formal? Yes. But they have their own issues to deal with, so don't spend too much time thinking how much greener the grass is.

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

If your chapter isn't filled with entitled hos, then you have a good start.

Hilarious

[honorgal]

I love this thread and all the wise and wonderful perspective it contains.