Leaving a Colony

helpmeout · #1 02-22-2013, 06:15 PM

I recently pledged a colony on my campus that and I am certain that I will not be a member until it becomes a full fraternity. I did this with a few friends but the thing is, I was planning on joining a different fraternity in the Spring before this one came here. I liked the idea of being a founding father, but if things don't work out and by that I mean I don't like the stress of being a founding father or the guys I am just meeting now in the colony, I am still just a pledge and am able to leave the fraternity and rush another. This decision would obviously be based on my enjoyment in the colony as getting a bid is a whole different topic. And actually on that, would a different fraternity be inclined to not give me a bid as I was in a colony rather than just being a normal pledge?

Thanks,
Dan

LaneSig · #2 02-22-2013, 06:27 PM

If you are not an initiated member of a fraternity, you can depledge and rush another group. We cannot give you an opinion on if the other fraternity will be inclined to bid you or not.

Being a founding father can be tough. Colonies are a lot of work. But, it can be a very rewarding experience to be a charter member.

Kevin · #3 02-23-2013, 06:41 PM

Yup, you can depledge and join whatever. The other group doesn't have to take you though. As a founding member, I can tell you that the rewards for doing it keep coming long after graduation. I don't know what promises you've made to this colony, but if I was in your position, I'd be concerned as to how this would reflect on my character, whether I was acting honorably, etc.

It's not the traditional experience though, and if you're looking for that and the promises you've made mean nothing to you, do what makes you happy.

excelblue · #4 02-24-2013, 08:09 AM

If you haven't initiated, you can do rush another chapter. It's really a question about fit. It's definitely a very different experience to be a founder vs joining a well-established organization.

As a member of a founding class, my experiences are the following:
* There's very little in terms of traditions (mainly, the ones from national). You need to figure out and establish your own.
* Culture is not yet set. It can take years for a long-standing culture to set in. Until then, it can be highly volatile, and you're going to be a huge part of it.
* You have to "earn" all the perks. The house, social calendars, events, recruitment process, and pledge process begin at or close to zero. (Inter)national HQ and other chapters may help, but because of the campus-specific situation, it's up to you.

That said, if you and the rest of the founding class do well and your colony survives, it's a very rewarding experience:
* Actually being part of the creation of the earliest and most important traditions.
* Experiencing a bunch of firsts (first house, first party, first social, first pledge program, etc.), which is one of the largest contributors to happiness in life
* Being recognized on certain events (i.e. signatures for attending the charter, plaque for first TV, first to win certain awards)

For me, it was 3.5yr before my chapter had its first social with a sorority. The alumni group was tiny, although it's steadily growing. I'm still looking forward to the day my chapter gets its first official house.

If you're looking to get the typical fraternity experience in a complete package, then a colony probably isn't for you. On the other hand, if you'd like to create something awesome and can deal with the hard parts, it may be a very rewarding experience.

33girl · #5 02-24-2013, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

Yup, you can depledge and join whatever. The other group doesn't have to take you though. As a founding member, I can tell you that the rewards for doing it keep coming long after graduation. I don't know what promises you've made to this colony, but if I was in your position, I'd be concerned as to how this would reflect on my character, whether I was acting honorably, etc.

It's not the traditional experience though, and if you're looking for that and the promises you've made mean nothing to you, do what makes you happy.

Holy passive aggressive, Batman.

Depending on how far along he is, his "pledging" may not have entailed any promises he should flagellate himself about breaking. Would you say the same thing to any other guy who was pledging a fraternity, realized it was a bad fit, and dropped out and pledged another group?

Also, depending on the recruitment process, who knows. He may have been promised a silk purse and got a sow's ear.

excelblue · #6 02-25-2013, 12:23 AM

The bad fit thing is much harder to tell when it comes to colonies though. It's all about potential and future promises that hinge on things that the colony is expected to pull through with.

It's one thing to go to a restaurant and eat a delicious steak, but quite another to be presented with a cow, asked to raise it, shoot it, process it, and then cook it.

Because of the nature of a colony, the cultural fit thing is much easier to achieve, but feeling like you're fitting in takes much much longer than even just a pledge program.

Kevin · #7 02-25-2013, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Holy passive aggressive, Batman.

Depending on how far along he is, his "pledging" may not have entailed any promises he should flagellate himself about breaking.

That's not what being in a colony is like. I can't recall whether you helped found your chapter. If not, it's a very different experience from rushing an established group. Unless he was sold a bill of goods, and I doubt that, he knew joining a colony wasn't the same as joining an established group. Yes, honoring ones commitments is a sign of character.

Quote:

Would you say the same thing to any other guy who was pledging a fraternity, realized it was a bad fit, and dropped out and pledged another group?

I don't consider it remotely the same thing. If you're a founding member, you have the ability to determine the culture of your organization. You go in knowing what kind of a commitment it is and realizing you're not going to be initiated next semester and have the traditional experience.

My first experiences with my own chapter, which I am a founding member of, were not positive. I didn't have any really close friends, I didn't hang out with anyone outside of chapter events and aside from being elected to a lot of leadership positions, I was never hugely popular.

Now, I'm chapter adviser, have a good relationship with just about everyone with a badge number, dedicate a large chunk of my time to the continued success of our chapter and find it extremely rewarding. I had every opportunity to join an established group and have a great 4 years of membership. I decided to forego that experience for something I think has been much more rewarding in the long term and haven't ever regretted it.

ibis · #8 02-25-2013, 11:02 AM

I wonder if this colony is affiliated with a larger or smaller national?

But, I also wonder why you joined it in the first place?

While it may not become a chartered group before you leave, to build something will be a proud thing to remember all of your life.

Will you give up on this now, what will you do after college with other choices in life? Will they be given up if you don't like what you see?

Show some guts, help make this colony grow, stick with it!

adpiucf · #9 02-25-2013, 12:06 PM

For the love of Pete! Quit crucifying the OP. If he wants to leave a colony, that's his choice. There is nothing wrong wtih preferring an established chapter over a colony. They're both great experiences, but everyone wants something different.

OP hasn't posted in a while and his question wasn't "Should I stay in my colony?" Rather, it was "If I leave, can I pledge somewhere else?" That question has been answered. Leave the guy alone. I'm pretty sure he is capable of making his own choices. It's not a question of having "guts" or "the great contacts you'll have 20 years from now." It's what he wants out of his college experience RIGHT NOW. It doesn't matter if you join a colony or a chapter; there's plenty to be proud of in either situation.

Kevin · #10 02-25-2013, 12:10 PM

Okay, I took that image down.

Yes, it's his choice. That said, the choices you make are reflective of your character. If you make promises and break them, that reflects poorly. This isn't a world where we all get to always do what makes us happy and not ever be judged for it.

33girl · #11 02-25-2013, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

That's not what being in a colony is like.

I don't consider it remotely the same thing.

I just don't get this. Yes, it's going to be a lot of work AND opportunities that an established chapter doesn't have...but would you really want someone to stay in a colony whose heart wasn't in it? I should think that would be the fastest way to sink a new group from the word go.

And unless men are initiated before the colony is chartered I don't see why it's not remotely the same thing as joining an established group.

As far as everyone knowing what the score is and that it isn't going to be all super happy fun time right away...in other words if you're saying that every fraternity colonizing situation, for every group, is as fully informed as yours apparently was...you've been eating too much of this, my boy.

adpiucf · #12 02-25-2013, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

Okay, I took that image down.

Yes, it's his choice. That said, the choices you make are reflective of your character. If you make promises and break them, that reflects poorly. This isn't a world where we all get to always do what makes us happy and not ever be judged for it.

Not really sure who's going to judge a guy for more than a few minutes for dropping out of a fraternity. By your definition, no one is ever allowed to change his mind. That's simply ridiculous. People move on. You've never broken up with someone? Taken a new job? Cancelled dinner plans? People break promises all the time and live very happy and productive lives.

DubaiSis · #13 02-25-2013, 10:37 PM

I just think it's indicative of a problem where people jump into a commitment without thinking about the repercussions of said commitment. But in the OP's defense, I'm not confident that a fraternity colony would necessarily be as up front about the time frame, commitments, responsibilities and realistic pay-off within his collegiate period. It seems like at some schools they are handled almost like an NPC colony, but at the majority, they are made from a couple guys who get together and have to almost build it from scratch. If the OP here was in the latter, I would have trouble being too judgy. If it was a fully organized colony at an SEC school and we were having this discussion I'd be full on annoyed at his childish attitudes.

Kevin · #14 02-26-2013, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Not really sure who's going to judge a guy for more than a few minutes for dropping out of a fraternity. By your definition, no one is ever allowed to change his mind. That's simply ridiculous. People move on. You've never broken up with someone? Taken a new job? Cancelled dinner plans? People break promises all the time and live very happy and productive lives.

Poor comparisons. If you're just dating someone and break up, I don't think there's any implication in that sort of relationship that it's forever and most of the time, there's no reliance of your partner on you to take things to the next level. This would be more like divorce or breaking off an engagement, and yeah, in a situation where one party just wants some sexual novelty or something, yes, that's going to reflect on their character.

Dinner plans? I don't think you've ever been part of a colonization, or if you have, I've seen how ADPi colonizes (invests a ton of money/time, they're operating like a full-on chapter with a house after just a semester) and you probably don't have a frame of reference to be making comparisons.

adpiucf · #15 02-26-2013, 10:57 PM

No. I'm coming at this from the perspective of a new member who has been part of an organization for a few weeks or months at best. It is not the level of commitment you make it out to be and it is very easy to walk away. In addition, why would you want a member who is unhappy and resentful? It brings down the entire group. And pledging is like dating. It's a chance to test the waters before making the commitment.

I will not comment further on this, as we're not going to agree here and OP's question has been answered.