Are some people just not meant to be in sororities?

[Wishful]

I am currently going through recruitment now. The second day has already passed (I have 2 more days to survive) and I only have 3 houses left. I'm deathly afraid that I'm going to get released. I want to post my whole story, but I'll wait until next week when recruitment is officially over.

Basically I went through recruitment last year. Got released, so I decided to do it again this year. But knowing that I can he released again just makes me think...maybe I'm not supposed to be in a sorority.

Does anyone have any advice or input?

[33girl]

The answer to your question is...yes.

Some people have a great time at sororities at a big school with a big Greek system, but would have been MISERABLE at a smaller school with a smaller Greek system. Or vice versa. (And no, the solution is not to transfer...the solution is just to realize that your school isn't 100% perfect because the Greek life there isn't for you, and get involved in other activities.)

Some people can't deal with the rules and expectations that are there in even the most laid back of chapters.

Some people have difficulty with time management, to the point that their sorority membership is a drain on their college career.

Some people just don't want to be around that many girls, that much of the time.

I don't know if any of these apply to you, but if venting out fear here helps you get through rush, go ahead and continue to do so.

[Wishful]

Originally Posted by 33girl

The answer to your question is...yes.

Some people have a great time at sororities at a big school with a big Greek system, but would have been MISERABLE at a smaller school with a smaller Greek system. Or vice versa. (And no, the solution is not to transfer...the solution is just to realize that your school isn't 100% perfect because the Greek life there isn't for you, and get involved in other activities.)

Some people can't deal with the rules and expectations that are there in even the most laid back of chapters.

Some people have difficulty with time management, to the point that their sorority membership is a drain on their college career.

Some people just don't want to be around that many girls, that much of the time.

I don't know if any of these apply to you, but if venting out fear here helps you get through rush, go ahead and continue to do so.

None of those really apply to me... At least most of those girls can get into a sorority. I can't...but yes I just need to vent. I wish I could share my whole story with everyone (recruitment this year and last)! Maybe after when recruitment is over?

[Hartofsec]

Originally Posted by Wishful

None of those really apply to me... At least most of those girls can get into a sorority. I can't...but yes I just need to vent. I wish I could share my whole story with everyone (recruitment this year and last)! Maybe after when recruitment is over?

I hope you do share your recruitment story -- while wishing you success in this one. You still have parties to attend -- hoping for a happy ending!

Good luck!

[Wishful]

Originally Posted by Hartofsec

I hope you do share your recruitment story -- while wishing you success in this one. You still have parties to attend -- hoping for a happy ending!

Good luck!

Thanks you! Even if I don't have a happy ending, I would love to share BOTH stories so maybe I could get some insight.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Wishful

None of those really apply to me... At least most of those girls can get into a sorority. I can't...but yes I just need to vent. I wish I could share my whole story with everyone (recruitment this year and last)! Maybe after when recruitment is over?

1) We would love to hear your story once recruitment is over, provided you can tell it in a manner that will not lead to hurt feelings.

2) Some women are not successful in recruitment. We've talked about tons of reasons why around here. However, none of us know YOU. If you are unsuccessful this time around, you would be wise to ask a trusted friend if there is some real reason you are having this much trouble. There could be something about how you are presenting yourself that is causing problems for you, and if this is the case, you should find out now, because it will continue to affect you in job hunts and stuff like that.

[Wishful]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

1) We would love to hear your story once recruitment is over, provided you can tell it in a manner that will not lead to hurt feelings.

2) Some women are not successful in recruitment. We've talked about tons of reasons why around here. However, none of us know YOU. If you are unsuccessful this time around, you would be wise to ask a trusted friend if there is some real reason you are having this much trouble. There could be something about how you are presenting yourself that is causing problems for you, and if this is the case, you should find out now, because it will continue to affect you in job hunts and stuff like that.

Thank you! Yeah I realize you guys can't really tell me what I'm doing wrong. Maybe if you read my story next week, you'll have some insight. I honestly don't know how I'm presenting myself "wrongly" to others. Personally, I just think that there are other girls better or more suited for the chapter than me. I know that they can't take everyone. I just happen to be last on everyone's list I guess. And unless I'm on the other side of the process, I won't know exactly how it works out. It is tough to make it to that side lol.

[WhiteDaisy128]

Even if you just have a few houses left...remember, it just takes one! Good luck!

[DubaiSis]

I'm sorry rush isn't going well for you. Yes, some people aren't meant to be in sororities. If it doesn't work out for you, it's time to start finding where you DO fit. Sorority life was fantastic for me in college, but it is not the only way to have fun, learn leadership skills, do philanthropic works, make lifelong connections, or drink beer.

Try not to worry about it so much. Your panicked state is probably not helping your composure.

[adpiucf]

Do the best you can. That's my only advice. It will either work out or it won't. But you should have a contingency plan in place for ways to get involved on campus and make friends should recruitment not go as you have planned. I'm sorry this has been so stressful! You might also consider informal recruitment-- it may be less intense that formal if this formal recruitment doesn't work out.

[Wishful]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Do the best you can. That's my only advice. It will either work out or it won't. But you should have a contingency plan in place for ways to get involved on campus and make friends should recruitment not go as you have planned. I'm sorry this has been so stressful! You might also consider informal recruitment-- it may be less intense that formal if this formal recruitment doesn't work out.

I did informal recruitment last year too. Only a handful of sororities were doing it and they had like only 7ish spots open. I didn't take it personally that I didn't get in then

[Wishful]

Greek life isn't huge at my school. I go go mostly a commuter school. I don't have the luxury of just going home so I wanted to find my home away from home. I don't think I can handle being released from recruitment AGAIN. Ever since I was little, I've wanted sisters, but it's looking like my wish will never come true

[DubaiSis]

First, we're not the best choice for helping you get clarity. Ask your rho chi or a good and painfully honest friend. How are you at gauging social cues? Do you make people uncomfortable when you're trying to be funny? Do you dress obnoxiously when you think you're being different? Do you have bad breath? These are the kinds of things that can REALLY affect your rush and you might just not be seeing it. None of these may be true, but probably there's something about yourself that you're just not willing to face just yet.

Secondly, nobody said you were last on anyone's list. Who knows? A chapter may have been able to invite back 100 girls and you were #101. or #600. We just don't know and that's why we all advise you to try not to obsess about it too much. I know, I know. Easier said than done.

[Wishful]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

First, we're not the best choice for helping you get clarity. Ask your rho chi or a good and painfully honest friend. How are you at gauging social cues? Do you make people uncomfortable when you're trying to be funny? Do you dress obnoxiously when you think you're being different? Do you have bad breath? These are the kinds of things that can REALLY affect your rush and you might just not be seeing it. None of these may be true, but probably there's something about yourself that you're just not willing to face just yet.

Secondly, nobody said you were last on anyone's list. Who knows? A chapter may have been able to invite back 100 girls and you were #101. or #600. We just don't know and that's why we all advise you to try not to obsess about it too much. I know, I know. Easier said than done.

Lol yeah, I know you guys aren't the best choice. I see GCers post all the time how you can't give advice because you are not the ones rushing the PNM. I was just asking for some insight on whether or not some people were just not meant to be in a sorority...or just not get a bid for that matter.

I asked my two Pi Chis...they don't understand either. One of them even said that she was very disappointed in her chapter for how they pass up on such great girls. Both of them said how they were shocked when they saw my schedule. I mentioned that I was released from the process last year, and they didn't understand that either.

Yes, I've thought about all those things. My friend (goes to a school BIG on greek life and she's in a sorority) has been approving ALL of my outfits. If anything, I thought I was awkward and shy last year because I was a freshman. However, some of the sororities must have saw something in me that I didn't see and kept inviting me back (minus the last day). That is not the case this year. At the first round, I felt confident and so comfortable. I was surprised at how outgoing and easy it was to talk to everyone. And I know it's not my breath....our Pi Chis have us pop a mint before every chapter.

Thanks for all your reasons though! They were actually interesting to hear that sororities judge on things like that during recruitment.

[DubaiSis]

Well Wishful, it sounds like you've done everything you can do, including looking inward. Just hold your head up and be positive and hopefully it will all work out great. I do wish you the very best of luck and yes, please share your story when it's done.