No Recs = Death Sentence?

[greekhopeful93]

Hi y'all,

I'm currently rushing at USC, and was invited back by one of our most competitive chapters. The alum association of this chapter in my town was a bit unhelpful towards me - I asked if they could refer me to someone who could fill out a rec for me since I did not know any alums from that particular sorority, but they told me to just ask around my high school. Of course I did this, but in the end I still couldn't find anyone - long story short, I ended up going through recruitment without recs for this house.

SO, my question is: should I just give up hope on receiving a bid for this house? I know schools often say that recs "aren't required" to get a bid, but I've also read that not having them basically means you're cut at one point or another. Can any of you lovely ladies weigh in on this? Thanks

[adpiucf]

Stick with recruitment until the end, and keep your options open. Aim to like a few chapters each day rather than setting your heart on just one.

Recs are important at both U of So Cal and U of South Carolina. Not sure which "USC" you are at. But seeing as you don't have recs, there's nothing you can do about that now. Just be yourself and see what happens.

[Titchou]

I think what the alum association was telling you is that there is someone at your school that handles recs for them. You just didn't find her. And some groups require that the rec be from someone who knows you personally. It may be that the person already did one on you and didn't tell you. That is very common. So I would not assume that you don't have one and not let it influence your decisions one way or the other.

[YouTee]

My oldest daughter attended a school with a competitive recruitment. We gathered all the required recs with the exception of one sorority, for whom I honestly could not find any alums who knew me or my daughter. Well, that sorority fell in love with her during rush, got an alum in house to write something for her, and she ultimately received a bid from that sorority. Go figure.

Second daughter just went through rush at another competitive southern school. Again, we had many recs for all the sororities save one. On the first day of parties, the president of that sorority specifically sought my daughter out to greet, and that sorority continued to invite her back each day. My daughter eventually chose two other sororities for pref night, so we'll never know if that sorority would have declined to offer her a bid based on the fact that she did not have a recommendation. I will say that at this school, each pnm is required to submit a resume and a photo for each chapter upon registration to Panhellenic, regardless of whether they also directly submit recs and photos to each house, so the sorority in question would have had at least something on her which would have been passed on from Panhellenic.

Point being, we had been told that for both schools, recs were a MUST, but we found that it wasn't actually the case, at least for my daughters. If you don't have recs for a given house, give it a shot nevertheless, as you never know what could happen. I wouldn't recommend this tactic, only mention it now since there is nothing you can do it about it anyway.

[Lovemybulldog]

Don't give up hope! My daughter went through recruitment last year at the University of Missouri, which is very competitive. She did not secure recs ahead of time and was invited back to most of her top preferences all week and ended up with a bid to her first choice! I believe, based on what she has said, that the girls she met felt a connection with her, and thought she would be a perfect fit into their sisterhood. They may or may not have secured recs on her behalf, but nonetheless, the end result was a very happy girl. She loves her sorority!

[ellebud]

My daughter had 3 recs going into SC's recruitment. She pledged a very competitive house...sans rec. They found one for her to bid her. So...follow the road, be positive and have fun.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by YouTee

Second daughter just went through rush at another competitive southern school... Point being, we had been told that for both schools, recs were a MUST, but we found that it wasn't actually the case, at least for my daughters.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE trust us.... recs ARE REQUIRED at these competitive Southern schools in order to get a bid from many, many of the sororities. NO "maybes".

Now perhaps a chapter might like a woman enough to get the needed rec FOR her. That does not mean that a rec was not needed, just that it came from a different source, i.e. not the PNM.

[ellebud]

Originally Posted by thetalady

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE trust us.... recs ARE REQUIRED at these competitive Southern schools in order to get a bid from many, many of the sororities. NO "maybes".

Now perhaps a chapter might like a woman enough to get the needed rec FOR her. That does not mean that a rec was not needed, just that it came from a different source, i.e. not the PNM.

We aren't talking about the southern (SEC) school. This is California with a traditional recruitment that is VERY competitive. Is it better to have RECs? Yes. But it is done...often. Half my daughter's pledge class did NOT have recs.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by ellebud

We aren't talking about the southern (SEC) school. This is California with a traditional recruitment that is VERY competitive. Is it better to have RECs? Yes. But it is done...often. Half my daughter's pledge class did NOT have recs.

I was responding to YouTee who specified that her daughter DID go to a very competitive Southern school :-)

I stand firm that recs ARE required by most NPC organizations, but that they may not neccessarily have to be submitted by the PNM. IF the organization has the time & inclination, they may find a rec for a promising PNM.

[DubaiSis]

There is no scenario where you absolutely positively will not receive a bid without a rec. You most definitely can get a bid without one. And not every sorority requires a rec as an absolute requirement for membership. The problem with this is just because you CAN doesn't mean you will or that it would be easy. If you're being invited back to this chapter, great. Keep your head high and your options open. If they want you badly enough and they are a sorority that does absolutely require a recommendation for membership, they'll get one for you.

The long and short of it is if at all possible, you want to make it easy for the sorority to keep you instead of providing them an excuse to cut you since (although it may not seem like it) it's harder for them to pick the cut list than the keep list. In reality, they'd probably take most of the rushees if they could. But you have to get from 900 to 50 somehow and that doesn't happen by grades (especially at SC) and girls who pick their nose in public.

[greekhopeful93]

Hey everyone, thanks so much for the feedback, especially ellebud. Sorry for not specifying, but I go to U Southern California, not South Carolina (: I will keep out hope for these girls - I did click with them a lot and hopefully they felt the same about me. Ellebud, its interesting that half of your daughter's pledge class didn't have recs. That is very good to hear actually!! I get my next round of cuts tomorrow morning, I'll try to stop by and mention if this particular house cuts me or not.

Thanks so much ladies!!

[YouTee]

Originally Posted by thetalady

I was responding to YouTee who specified that her daughter DID go to a very competitive Southern school :-)

I stand firm that recs ARE required by most NPC organizations, but that they may not neccessarily have to be submitted by the PNM. IF the organization has the time & inclination, they may find a rec for a promising PNM.

My daughter went to a competitive Southern school, but it was not an SEC school.

I did not imply that no rec was written, just that we did not send one. Certainly possible that one came from within DURING rush, but this is relevant to the OP. Perhaps that could happen for her. And to repeat, I wouldn't ever advise on counting on it, but since it's too late for the OP to get one of her own, I just want to encourage her not to give up hope, because it could happen for her too.

[Pearly]

Greekhopeful93 come back and tell us how things are going for you! Keep an open mind and enjoy bid night!