fitting in?

[ellebud]

Dr Phil:

As a mom of a college kid I agree that there are some parents who aren't their kids best friends. But many parents are in fact willing and able to listen. In fact, many kids in college are rebounding from the angst of adolescence as are the parents. But assuming all parties are semi rational...sorry...going to people who have (presumably) known you all you life is a good and intelligent thing. You don't have to take advice (if any is asked for or given). But using an adult as a sounding board can be a very good and mature thing to do.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by ellebud

Dr Phil:

As a mom of a college kid I agree that there are some parents who aren't their kids best friends. But many parents are in fact willing and able to listen. In fact, many kids in college are rebounding from the angst of adolescence as are the parents. But assuming all parties are semi rational...sorry...going to people who have (presumably) known you all you life is a good and intelligent thing. You don't have to take advice (if any is asked for or given). But using an adult as a sounding board can be a very good and mature thing to do.

I think the point here is to talk to an adult you can trust, whether that's your parents, a teacher or professor, or the counseling center at your school. If someone has good reason not to seek out their parents, so be it. But the advice you're going to get from a message board is not going to be nearly so helpful.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ellebud

Dr Phil:

As a mom of a college kid I agree that there are some parents who aren't their kids best friends.

Yes and being a best friend requires reciprocity. Many parents think they are their, now legal adult, children's best friends but I firmly believe that most offspring don't feel as though their parents are their best friends. They love their parents, many consider their parents their heros, and they like to talk to their parents about things but not because of the best friend dynamic. One reason being that the best friend dynamic is not a requirement for a loving and functional parent-child relationship.

This subtopic just stood out to me because you typed the original statement so definitively.