should i stay...or should i go?

[jojocircus]

hi,
i'm not looking for anyone to give me a definite answer, b/c i know that's not possible, but i am in a very strange situation regarding "my" sorority. i say "my" b/c i was never officially initiated..and recruitment is coming up.

sorry...im trying to find the words to explain my situation, but basically due to a number of things i was not initiated and its supposed to happen in the fall. i should be excited abt this, however they were not my first choice..or even my second. i said i would except the bid b/c i thought i would get my first choice(not smart/nice i knw)everyone kept telling me to just go through new member period to see how i felt...now they're telling me to get initiated and see if my feelings change as an active. problem is if i get initiated thats it. if i dnt like it i cant go anywhere else so now is my only chance. it is not as if these are bad girls, or if i dont believe in some of the things they stand for, but i always thought the sorority you are in is supposed to feel like"family" and when i go to my sorority house it should feel like home. i have yet to make any true connections(its been a year!) should it be this hard? how did you feel when you accepted you bid?how do you feel now?

i knw this was a lot to read so any advice, or experiences would be greatly appreciated

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by jojocircus

hi,
i'm not looking for anyone to give me a definite answer, b/c i know that's not possible, but i am in a very strange situation regarding "my" sorority. i say "my" b/c i was never officially initiated..and recruitment is coming up.

sorry...im trying to find the words to explain my situation, but basically due to a number of things i was not initiated and its supposed to happen in the fall. i should be excited abt this, however they were not my first choice..or even my second. i said i would except the bid b/c i thought i would get my first choice(not smart/nice i knw)everyone kept telling me to just go through new member period to see how i felt...now they're telling me to get initiated and see if my feelings change as an active. problem is if i get initiated thats it. if i dnt like it i cant go anywhere else so now is my only chance. it is not as if these are bad girls, or if i dont believe in some of the things they stand for, but i always thought the sorority you are in is supposed to feel like"family" and when i go to my sorority house it should feel like home. i have yet to make any true connections(its been a year!) should it be this hard? how did you feel when you accepted you bid?how do you feel now?

i knw this was a lot to read so any advice, or experiences would be greatly appreciated

You've been a "new member" for a year and haven't been initiated?

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

You've been a "new member" for a year and haven't been initiated?

That's some foolywang right there.

[jojocircus]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

You've been a "new member" for a year and haven't been initiated?

yeah im considered a "new member" and haven't been initiate because i didnt have enough credits in the fall and was supposed to be initiated in the spring, but i basically de-pledged b/c i didnt think it was a right fit. they asked me to come back and get initiated b/c they thought i would like it better as an active. i thought i would try it, but then i couldnt be initiated until this fall b/c i de-pledged in the same semester i was supposed to be initiated in(the spring).

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by jojocircus

yeah im considered a "new member" and haven't been initiate because i didnt have enough credits in the fall and was supposed to be initiated in the spring, but i basically de-pledged b/c i didnt think it was a right fit. they asked me to come back and get initiated b/c they thought i would like it better as an active. i thought i would try it, but then i couldnt be initiated until this fall b/c i de-pledged in the same semester i was supposed to be initiated in(the spring).

Just cut them loose. They don't deserve to deal with a member like you. How do you know you "don't feel at home with them"? You haven't been around at all the past year. I sure hope this isn't AOII!

[jojocircus]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Just cut them loose. They don't deserve to deal with a member like you. How do you know you "don't feel at home with them"? You haven't been around at all the past year. I sure hope this isn't AOII!

what makes you assume i haven't been around? is it really neccessary for people to make negative comments? i was looking for helpful advice and wondering how others felt about their sororities b/c generally if feels like everyone is happy/proud to be there. sorry i ever posted.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by jojocircus

what makes you assume i haven't been around? is it really neccessary for people to make negative comments? i was looking for helpful advice and wondering how others felt about their sororities b/c generally if feels like everyone is happy/proud to be there. sorry i ever posted.

Out of an entire thread you latched on to this?

You depledged and then came back, at least for some of that time you "have not been around"

Public forum means you get the positive and the negative. You got good advice now make a decision and don't blame it on other people.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by jojocircus

what makes you assume i haven't been around? is it really neccessary for people to make negative comments? i was looking for helpful advice and wondering how others felt about their sororities b/c generally if feels like everyone is happy/proud to be there. sorry i ever posted.

So you've been an XYZ for 1 year as a new member, but you couldn't participate the first semester because you weren't eligible as a part time student. The second semester you say you de-pledged because you didn't "think it was the right fit." Please tell me how we're supposed to interpret that as having been around? You began your original post with the helpful information of "i should be excited abt this, however they were not my first choice..or even my second." None of this speaks to an open mind or a person who has tried to make things work. Give the group a break and just go away. Sorry if you don't like my advice, but not all advice is the advice you want to hear.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by jojocircus

yeah im considered a "new member" and haven't been initiate because i didnt have enough credits in the fall and was supposed to be initiated in the spring, but i basically de-pledged b/c i didnt think it was a right fit. they asked me to come back and get initiated b/c they thought i would like it better as an active. i thought i would try it, but then i couldnt be initiated until this fall b/c i de-pledged in the same semester i was supposed to be initiated in(the spring).

This seems fishy to me (as a non-NPCer), but is this common practice?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

This seems fishy to me (as a non-NPCer), but is this common practice?

No, it is not. They shouldn't have given her a bid in fall to begin with if she didn't have enough credits.

It sounds like this chapter is desparate for members.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by 33girl

No, it is not. They shouldn't have given her a bid in fall to begin with if she didn't have enough credits.

It sounds like this chapter is desparate for members.

That's what I was thinking. I've never heard of members begging for dropees to come back.

Thanks.

[jojocircus]

Originally Posted by 33girl

No, it is not. They shouldn't have given her a bid in fall to begin with if she didn't have enough credits.

It sounds like this chapter is desparate for members.

this is an NPC organization.
i was not the only one given a bid that did not have enough credits. another girl that did not have enough credits was actually initiated b/c i did not know they dont check so i was honest and told them.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by jojocircus

hi,
i'm not looking for anyone to give me a definite answer, b/c i know that's not possible, but i am in a very strange situation regarding "my" sorority. i say "my" b/c i was never officially initiated..and recruitment is coming up.

sorry...im trying to find the words to explain my situation, but basically due to a number of things i was not initiated and its supposed to happen in the fall. i should be excited abt this, however they were not my first choice..or even my second. i said i would except the bid b/c i thought i would get my first choice(not smart/nice i knw)everyone kept telling me to just go through new member period to see how i felt...now they're telling me to get initiated and see if my feelings change as an active. problem is if i get initiated thats it. if i dnt like it i cant go anywhere else so now is my only chance. it is not as if these are bad girls, or if i dont believe in some of the things they stand for, but i always thought the sorority you are in is supposed to feel like"family" and when i go to my sorority house it should feel like home. i have yet to make any true connections(its been a year!) should it be this hard? how did you feel when you accepted you bid?how do you feel now?

i knw this was a lot to read so any advice, or experiences would be greatly appreciated

There are actually quite a few threads around here about similar topics, I suggest giving them a read because your feelings are not uncommon (not knowing whether you want to stay or go). There is some good advcie in them. Good luck to you with your decisions.

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=112091

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ghlight=choice

[ree-Xi]

I know that this isn't done much anymore, but at some chapters/schools, initiation held over until you come back from the following semester (for grade purposes). If you don't have the GPA when initiation comes, you are held over (and have to re-pledge) until the next semester's grades are out (if they improve).

My school and chapter (AXiD) did this. I don't know how common this is or if that still happens (formal recruitment is now deferred for freshman), but it was normal for all chapters on my campus at the time.

Not sure if this is the same issue, but I wanted to share my experience.

[IrishLake]

I also do not understand how you can be in a new member pledge period for a year. Is this an NPC org, or NPHC?