Advice anyone??

iibaby · #1 03-30-2010, 11:28 PM

I wasn't sure where to post this..but I really could use some advice.

I joined my sorority a year ago. I knew I'd make friends but never thought I'd make such good ones. My Big is my best friend

We still can't believe we've only known each other for a year we're that close.

The problem comes in because she also has 2 other Littles besides me. When we hang out and go to sisterhood events it has gotten to the point where my Big and I make a conscious effort not to sit by each other and we are basically keeping the fact that we are best friends a secret (as weird as that sounds)...we're doing this because my Big doesn't want to be "picking favorites" and also because one of her other Littles seems really insecure and jealous that we're so close.

I'm not sure what I should do. I feel like I am sneaking around and I hate the fact that I can't be happy that I have a best friend that is also my Big sis in public. The whole situation is causing a lot of guilt between me and my Big because we don't want to hurt anyone but at the same time we like hanging out and ..you know doing what besties do!

Should we just come out with the truth to her other littles?
Any suggestions on what to do??

Gusteau · #2 03-30-2010, 11:33 PM

I think this will only become an issue if you and your big keep making it into a big deal. You don't have to "admit" anything. Just do what you guys do and try not to be exclusionary to the other littles, I'm sure they can cope with it - they probably have their own best friends anyway.

iibaby · #3 03-30-2010, 11:38 PM

I guess its not so much my Big making it a big deal as it is the other littles and other sisters who see that she is closer to me than the other two and feel the need to comment about it. It seems to be a slippery slope.
And they DO have their own best friends. Which is why this is frustrating. I'm not sure why it's such a problem that we are best friends AND big/little. But outside people are making it into drama.

KSUViolet06 · #4 03-30-2010, 11:39 PM

Why would you hide your friendship?

There's nothing wrong with being best friends with your Big, so long as you aren't being a douchebag about it and excluding other people.

iibaby · #5 03-31-2010, 12:12 AM

Thanks for the advice so far!

So do we just ignore the jealousy then?...Or do we just tell people straight out?

I think we are maybe being too nice sometimes but then I'm not sure I'm being fair to myself by making it all about everyone else. Does that make any sense?

KSUViolet06 · #6 03-31-2010, 12:19 AM

Who cares if people are jealous of you? That's life.

Also, I am sure that if you're hanging out all the time outside of the sorority, other girls in your chapter probably already know you're best friends.

The only advice I have is to be sure you're not completely cutting out others. Otherwise, live your life.

annabella · #7 03-31-2010, 12:26 AM

The fact that this is posted in the dating and relationships forum reminds me of this thread.

Sorry. Just does.

iibaby · #8 03-31-2010, 02:03 AM

umm sorry..didn't know where else to post it.....i'm new

BabyPiNK_FL · #9 03-31-2010, 02:03 AM

as a big with lots of littles i try very hard to "balance" and be fair. it's obvious i think the world of all of them, but i think that it's always been a lil obvious that there is one who stands out. no one dies and everyone still loves me and her and we all get along very well and i make time for each of them individually and in groups. if you're bff everyone probably knows it anyways so at the end of the day what difference does is really make? is she gonna make you stand in the back as the last bridesmaid too? how long do you really want to keep this up?

ASTalumna06 · #10 03-31-2010, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iibaby

So do we just ignore the jealousy then?...Or do we just tell people straight out?

Tell people? What are you telling them... and how? Are you going to make an announcement at the next chapter meeting? "Listen up, girls! I just wanted you all to know that me and so-and-so are best friends forever ever! Don't be jealous! K thanks"

Be best friends. That's it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyPiNK_FL

is she gonna make you stand in the back as the last bridesmaid too? how long do you really want to keep this up?

Exactly. Girls get jealous. That's it. Don't let them rain on your parade.

iibaby · #11 03-31-2010, 11:12 AM

Basically everything you all have said is what we thought already. I just needed to hear it from an outside source. Thanks.
I'm moving on..jealously or not. Its my life.