Significant other's friends

LucyKKG · #1 10-15-2009, 02:15 AM

Have you ever had an intense loathing for one of your significant other's friends? Oooh I do! Here's the deal:

Dan has a friend from high school with whom he has recently reconnected. I've met him a few times. (I won't say his name juuuust in case.) I hate being around him because he barely acknowledges my presence! I realize I'm "the girlfriend" and the dudes want to catch up and chat. However, he won't even include me in a simple conversation. I try to interact, make relative comments, and ask questions. I haven't seen him since June, luckily.

Anyway, Dan told me today that his friend was going to be moving out of his parents' house finally. (We have recently graduated from college, so we're both at our respective parents' houses. I think his friend has been out for a year or two.) I guess the friend wants Dan to move with him, and he is interested but can't afford the rent right now.

So the topic is off the table for a while. I was thinking about it later today, though. What if this a-hole was my dearly beloved's roommate? Augh! My boyfriend knows how I feel about this guy. I won't say anything about the living situation right now because it's not an imminent threat. What should I say if it DOES become more of a possibility?

sewpurplebat · #2 10-15-2009, 02:46 AM

Ouch! I understand that. My boys bff ( whom I call the other girlfriend) is such a "frat" douche. Yes, frat boy in the bad stereotypical way. His girlfriend is one of my close friends and he is always cheating on her. When they lived in their Fraternity house together I never wanted to be around he if was. Tit grabbing a-hole. Best of luck to you! Maybe if you sit down and really talk to Dan about your feelings on this guy he might not move in with him

DSTRen13 · #3 10-15-2009, 07:13 AM

I hate my husband's friend's SO. The friend himself is fine. SHE is just ... eugh. But whenever there are "couple" events going on, I always get stuck having to hang out with her. So awkward.

agzg · #4 10-15-2009, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

I hate my husband's friend's SO. The friend himself is fine. SHE is just ... eugh. But whenever there are "couple" events going on, I always get stuck having to hang out with her. So awkward.

This is my problem, too. Live-in's best friend from home is really really awesome, and didn't even give me any crap when I fell asleep on the couch the first night I met him (we were hanging out at live-in's mom's house, I had just flown in that day because we were still long distance, and it was a looooong day). I fell asleep in the middle of a conversation for crying out loud! But he understood, and he's just in general a really great guy!

His girlfriend/friend/whatever she is to him today, however, is a GINORMOUS BIA. We went to a concert once, and she totally ruined it for me by complaining the entire time. The first time I met her she tried to start a fight with me by saying that she hated sororities and everything they stood for. She also then tried to talk about how her friend has such a huge crush on live-in and she considered "setting them up." WTF? I didn't take the bait, but come on, that was ridiculous.

I cooked for them once, and she complained about the food. Dude, it was TACOS. You really can't mess up tacos! I even got both hard and soft shells because I didn't know what SHE SPECIFICALLY liked!

Ugh. I could go on and on about this girl. It has gotten to the point where I avoid live-in's best friend when I know she'll be around. Which is sad, because I like live-in's best friend a lot.

Live-in also has another (guy) friend that I can't stand. He complained the entire time we were at a concert, too, and this time it was my favorite band. I have video from the concert, and you can't even hear them playing all you can hear is him yakking about how they're not playing the right songs.

Live-in and I have pretty much decided that we're not going to concerts/the theatre/sporting events with anyone but ourselves anymore. We're the only people we have fun with!

Besides that guy and his best friend's girlfriend, though, I really like most of live-in's friends and many of the ones that I'm not too keen on don't live here, so I see them once or twice a year at weddings. Even the ones I'm not really a fan of aren't that bad - it's just those two.

WVU alpha phi · #5 10-15-2009, 11:21 AM

I'm not a huge fan of my boyfriend's friends, they're all just really.. lame. We're all between the ages of 23-26 and they act like they're in the 40s and married with children (no offense to anyone in that demographic!

) They NEVER want to go out, period. I don't care if it's dinner/out for drinks/movies, they simply like sitting at home every single night, including on the weekends.

They're just so different from all of my good friends, who all live several states away (I moved after college) and I just think they lead such boring lives. They literally work, go home and watch TV, and go to bed.

DrPhil · #6 10-15-2009, 01:35 PM

I don't dislike any of his REAL friends.

I have gotten into an exchange of words and debates with a couple of his ACQUAINTANCES, but that's because many men aren't used to women unapologetically being "present." When you say dumb mess like "my wife sits off to the side and smiles whereas yours tries to act like a man...talking and stuff," you are asking to get cussed out...in a professional manner.

Xanthus · #7 10-17-2009, 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyKKG

Have you ever had an intense loathing for one of your significant other's friends? Oooh I do! Here's the deal:

Dan has a friend from high school with whom he has recently reconnected. I've met him a few times. (I won't say his name juuuust in case.) I hate being around him because he barely acknowledges my presence! I realize I'm "the girlfriend" and the dudes want to catch up and chat. However, he won't even include me in a simple conversation. I try to interact, make relative comments, and ask questions. I haven't seen him since June, luckily.

Anyway, Dan told me today that his friend was going to be moving out of his parents' house finally. (We have recently graduated from college, so we're both at our respective parents' houses. I think his friend has been out for a year or two.) I guess the friend wants Dan to move with him, and he is interested but can't afford the rent right now.

So the topic is off the table for a while. I was thinking about it later today, though. What if this a-hole was my dearly beloved's roommate? Augh! My boyfriend knows how I feel about this guy. I won't say anything about the living situation right now because it's not an imminent threat. What should I say if it DOES become more of a possibility?

I wouldn't put too much into it. I could see if he was starting to be a dick like his friend, but as long as he's still the same dude, I don't see what the problem is. Better yet, why don't you two move in together? That would eliminate this problem. Don't you think?

LucyKKG · #8 10-17-2009, 05:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xanthus

Better yet, why don't you two move in together? That would eliminate this problem. Don't you think?

I would love it if we could do that, but neither of us can afford it right now.

Xanthus · #9 10-17-2009, 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyKKG

I would love it if we could do that, but neither of us can afford it right now.

I don't want to come of as nosey, but are you two working? If you are, you could split the rent.

LucyKKG · #10 10-17-2009, 05:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xanthus

I don't want to come of as nosey, but are you two working? If you are, you could split the rent.

The short answer is no. We both just graduated. He's getting laid off at the end of the month, and I'm having trouble finding a job. So right now it's Casa de los Padres for me!

Xanthus · #11 10-18-2009, 03:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyKKG

The short answer is no. We both just graduated. He's getting laid off at the end of the month, and I'm having trouble finding a job. So right now it's Casa de los Padres for me!

ok relax. I just asked a simple question. Look at the bright side. If he's going to be laid off in a month, then he won't be able to afford the rent. If he can't afford the rent, then that would put him back with his parents and away from the asshole friend. Right?

LucyKKG · #12 10-18-2009, 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xanthus

ok relax. I just asked a simple question. Look at the bright side. If he's going to be laid off in a month, then he won't be able to afford the rent. If he can't afford the rent, then that would put him back with his parents and away from the asshole friend. Right?

Yeah, as I mentioned before, it's not going to happen any time soon. Did I seem snarky?

Xanthus · #13 10-18-2009, 03:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyKKG

Yeah, as I mentioned before, it's not going to happen any time soon. Did I seem snarky?

Not a big deal, but yeah, you did. Good luck, I hope everything works out.

AGDee · #14 10-18-2009, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyKKG

Yeah, as I mentioned before, it's not going to happen any time soon. Did I seem snarky?

My snark detector did not go off from your post. I thought it was kind of cute and upbeat, honestly.

DSTRen13 · #15 10-24-2009, 12:58 PM

Had to hang out with the friend & his psycho-ladyfriend again recently. WHY haven't they broken up already?? (I can't tell if she's getting more bizarre or if my tolerance is just wearing thin as time goes by ...)