The question "when are you going to have kids?"

KSUViolet06 · #1 09-03-2009, 09:10 PM

Slightly more annoying/rude than "When are you going to get married?"

I've seen people brought to tears over it (for various reasosn) and I don't think it's ever ok to ask but people still do.

Any fun/witty answers (or even honest nice ones)?

agzg · #2 09-03-2009, 09:16 PM

"Pay for me to stay at home with them, doctors bills, clothes, food, diapers, furniture, a car, and their college tuition and I'll consider it."

I've said that to live-in's mom.

I've also said to my dad that that means he'd have to move to Chicago. That worked, too (he could never imagine leaving the house that I grew up in).

KSUViolet06 · #3 09-03-2009, 09:22 PM

"When my hypothetical future husband and I can afford to send them to their colleges of choice for 4 years and retire comfortably."

That's when I'll have them.

No, Nosy Classmate Who Had 3 Kids At My Age, I don't care if that means I "could be like, over 35 by then."

College isn't getting any cheaper.

ComradesTrue · #4 09-03-2009, 09:34 PM

Ugh! This question should never, ever be asked.

I can't count the number of friends that I have that have had struggles with infertility, miscarriages, and even stillbirths. So very sad.

And KSU- 35 is fine. I was almost 34 with the first one and almost 36 with the second. Both totally healthy kids and completely healthy pregnancies.

(and I had a blast in my 20s

)

KSUViolet06 · #5 09-03-2009, 09:42 PM

Another GCer posted this answer once and I thought it was hilarious:

"Why? Do you want an invite to the conception?"

AOII_LB93 · #6 09-03-2009, 09:54 PM

"Have you started a Trust fun for said kid? How generous of you!"

"We practice daily, but it's just not working. Any tips?"

"When we're ready. When are you going to stop being a nosy asshole?"

"When we've decided that vacations and trips to Europe are no longer worth it."

KSUViolet06 · #7 09-03-2009, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

"When we've decided that vacations and trips to Europe are no longer worth it."

I like this one.

I rather enjoy the fact that I can go see a Cirque show in another state without having to arrange a sitter, or spend the entire evening attempting to enjoy Love with a kid crawling under the seat next to me.

I also like "when I don't like sleeping in anymore."

A friend of mine from church says "We're not ready for romantic dinner to consist of referee-ing kids at Bob Evans."

Jill1228 · #8 09-03-2009, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Slightly more annoying/rude than "When are you going to get married?"

I've seen people brought to tears over it (for various reasosn) and I don't think it's ever ok to ask but people still do.

Any fun/witty answers (or even honest nice ones)?

This is a sensitive topic and yes, I have been brought to tears more than a few times. Especially when someone asked me this TWO days after I had a D&C for a missed miscarriage (yup boys and girls, this is how I spent our 5th wedding anniversary)

A question that should never be asked. For one, you don't know if they are having fertility issues!

Quote:

No, Nosy Classmate Who Had 3 Kids At My Age, I don't care if that means I "could be like, over 35 by then."

I was 17 days away from my 35th when we got married.

But I have said, "when we feel financially comfortable enough and don't have to rely on taxpayer money to do it" (yes, I aimed this at some of my cousins who got knocked up at 16 and have a few different baby daddies)
We waited a bit because we are from that school of: "if you can't feed 'em don't breed 'em"

Don't get me started on stupid shit people say when you are having difficulty getting pregnant again!

Jill1228 · #9 09-03-2009, 11:56 PM

Another answer to that question:

Since insurance doesn't cover fertility issues, you got a few grand you gonna slip my way?
Shuts them right on up!

AlphaFrog · #10 09-04-2009, 05:35 AM

I've gotten asked when we're having MORE kids (we're not). I tell them that I've already got a boy and girl, and that's all they come in. Why do I need another one? Is there a third option here?

DSTRen13 · #11 09-04-2009, 06:18 AM

I'm in the tears/anger category. I get asked this question a LOT, and have two approaches based on the situation. I've found that simply answering completely and truthfully usually makes people the most uncomfortable and least likely to ever ask again. If that isn't an option, I go for "It's complicated", which tends to shut people up.

PhoenixAzul · #12 09-04-2009, 08:03 AM

As a newlywed, we've been getting this NON STOP both before and after the wedding.

When people ask, especially rude strangers, somehow my manners fail me and I resort to the "Well, while we're checking in on the state of the uterus, would you like to know about my bowel movements too?"

Seriously world, unless the woman's water breaks in front of you, do.not.ask. Just don't.

DaemonSeid · #13 09-04-2009, 08:05 AM

And yes, guys get asked this question also:

My responses are:

"You wanna marry me first?"

"Can you even afford yours?"

"When Trojans goes under"

"Sure if you want to have 2 of mine."

"Your kids scare me into not having any."

Hehehehe.

I'll get back to you all around 2011 *wink*

APhi Sailorgirl · #14 09-04-2009, 08:10 AM

The only people who ask are on DH's side b/c they're the idiots. My family/friends are smart enough to know we'll have them when we're ready.

Normally I say "when we can afford daycare."

What I really want to say, but DH would kill me "Well right now we don't interact with a lot of positive parental models, we're waiting a bit to see if that changes (directed at MIL and BIL/SIL)." Since they're sucky parents.

jessica.lanelle · #15 09-04-2009, 08:17 AM

I get asked this question at least once a week. I am the only person at my work that does not have kids. I have dogs, though, and they are quite enough work. When people ask why I don't have kids, I tell them that I can't put a kid in the back yard with a bowl of water and a chew toy while I go to the bar with my friends.