I have a crush on one of my best friends. He was like, my first guy friend and I spent all of last year dating HIS friends and complaining about them and he was always so nice and understanding and always knew how to make me feel better. Occasionally my other friends would tell me, "You know, I think Alex has a 'lil crush on you." But I'd just like dismiss it, because I don't know, it just seemed to preposterous at the time. I really didn't think it was true. I wasn't TRYING to be cruel by dating his friends!!
Anyway, around May, I had some trouble with my boyfriend, a lot of BS about him and my friend Stacy which turned out to be partially true but ANYWAYS, Alex started dating some freshman

from a different school in like February. I finally broke up with the Jerk and suddenly realized how much I liked Alex.
How stupid, huh? I feel like such a prick for only appreciating him after he wasn't available. How stupid and TYPICAL. Anyways he's been dating that idiotic freshmen for six months and I'm terrified that he'll stay with her until we graduate from high school! I'm not even sure if he has feelings for me anymore. I must have hurt him last year

I feel so guilty. I know we'd be so happy together and it'd be different because we're already friends and comfortable with each other and it would be so perfect. Anyways, if you have any advice or even just want to yell at me to get over him cause I wasted my chance, I probably need to hear it. Hahaha thanks for reading my absurdly long post