Second thoughts

[Rushee]

I have a problem. I have recieved a bid and have signed it. The guys are awesome but I havent seen anything else and I dont know if I've lept before I've looked. I want to know how big of a deal it is to back out once you've signed a bid. I honestly like the guys at the house but I don't know if its right for me yet I'd like to slow it down but I dont know if I've already gone too far to go back. It's alot of money and joining a frat is a big commitment, but I don't know what I should do if I can do anything at all.

advice?

[sdbeta1]

Originally Posted by Rushee

I have a problem. I have recieved a bid and have signed it. The guys are awesome but I havent seen anything else and I dont know if I've lept before I've looked. I want to know how big of a deal it is to back out once you've signed a bid. I honestly like the guys at the house but I don't know if its right for me yet I'd like to slow it down but I dont know if I've already gone too far to go back. It's alot of money and joining a frat is a big commitment, but I don't know what I should do if I can do anything at all.

advice?

You have to tell us more about your situation if you want some good advice, elaborate and the responses will come quickly. For example, what went into receiving your bid?, how much is a lot of money?, how competitive is your school?

[LightBulb]

You seem to have two issues going on here.

1) The guys are awesome but I havent seen anything else
If you're happy there, why do you want a different fraternity?

2) It's alot of money and joining a frat is a big commitment
Yes, it is. Talk to your brothers and ask how they do it. Everyone has to juggle schedules to be Greek, but it's worthwhile. It's expensive too. You're already pledged... but do you want to be? It's a big commitment of time and money, so you need to figure out if it's what you want.


Is it that you're not sure whether you want to join a fraternity, or is it that you're not sure whether you want to join that fraternity?

[TSteven]

Both sdbeta1 and LightBulb have some good questions that if answered, might help with advice. However, I am guessing that you signed a bid at a summer rush event.

Is it a big deal to back out now that you have signed a bid? Frankly, it depends on the campus culture and the campus' IFC rules.

Find out what are your campus' rules and guidelines - both official *and* "unofficial" - around bids.

Generally speaking, if your bid is official (turned in to and accepted by IFC etc.), then most likely you can not accept a bid to any other chapter for at least a semester. Or might even be for a full year.

On the other hand, the campus culture may be that even if you have signed a bid, you *may* be able to resend it. That can be a chapter to chapter call in that some chapters will "release" you, others will not. Again, you need to know what you can and can not do at this point. And what the consequences might be.

What may not be "official" yet part of the campus culture is how much does this kind of stuff happen? It may be that it isn't that big a deal. Until school starts, it might be considered "ok" for a rushee to resend their acceptance. On the other hand, it might be that the other chapters, knowing that you originally accepted a bid to another chapter, will not or can not extend you a bid.

Again, and I can't emphasize this enough, you need to know both the official and unofficial rules and guidelines regarding your campus' rush.

[Elephant Walk]

At our campus, just because you signed a bid card doesn't mean shit. We've had people in the past who signed their bid card early, and then felt more comfortable somewhere else. It happens man. Not a big deal.

[Kevin]

On my campus, it was 1 year if you backed out of a bid card.

That was the written rule. In practice, there's not a hell of a lot that can be done in most cases if you pledge somewhere else.