More Men are Marrying Wealthier Women

[DaemonSeid]

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/19/us/19marriage.html

January 19, 2010
More Men Marrying Wealthier Women
By SAM ROBERTS

Beagy Zielinski is a German-born 28-year-old stylist who moved to New York to study fashion in 1995 and stayed. Just before Christmas, she broke up with her blue-collar boyfriend, who repaired Navy ships.

“He was extremely insecure about my career and how successful I am,” Ms. Zielinski said.

An analysis of census data to be released Tuesday by the Pew Research Center found that she and countless women like her are victims of a role reversal that is profoundly affecting the pool of potential marriage partners.

“Men now are increasingly likely to marry wives with more education and income than they have, and the reverse is true for women,” said Paul Fucito, spokesman for the Pew Center. “In recent decades, with the rise of well-paid working wives, the economic gains of marriage have been a greater benefit for men.”

The analysis examines Americans 30 to 44 years old, the first generation in which more women than men have college degrees. Women’s earnings have been increasing faster than men’s since the 1970s.

“We’ve known for some time that men need marriage more than women from the standpoint of physical and mental well-being,” said Stephanie Coontz, a professor at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash., and research director for the Council on Contemporary Families, a research and advocacy group. “Now it is becoming increasingly important to their economic well-being as well.”

The education and income gap has grown even more in the latest recession, when men held about three in four of the jobs that were lost. The Census Bureau said Friday that among married couples with children, only the wife worked in 7 percent of the households last year, compared with 5 percent in 2007. The percentage rose to 12 percent from 9 percent for blacks, among whom the education and income gap by gender has typically been even greater.

“I’m not married, I would like to be married, and my friends are all in a similar situation,” said Dr. Rajalla Prewitt, a 38-year-old psychiatrist in New Jersey. “We’re having difficulty finding someone where there’s a meeting of the minds, where we can have the same goals and values.”

“Particularly, African-American men who are educated want a traditional home where they are the breadwinner,” said Dr. Prewitt, who is a black woman.

In 2007, the Pew report found, median household incomes of married men, married women and unmarried women were all about 60 percent higher than in 1970. But among unmarried men, median household income rose by only 16 percent. These days, men who marry typically gain another breadwinner.

In 1970, 28 percent of wives had husbands who were better educated, and 20 percent were married to men with less education. By 2007, the comparable figures were 19 percent and 28 percent. In 1970, 4 percent of husbands had wives who made more money; in 2007, 22 percent did.

College-educated wives are less likely to have a husband who is college-educated and in the highest income bracket than they were in 1970, and married women are less likely to have a husband who works.

[DrPhil]

Cool.

ETA: The headline definitely shapes how you are willing and able to receive this story. The real story is that "women are marrying less educated and less well-off men." But, that's less positive than the current headline and it would cause sparks.

I want to remind women, particularly Black women, that something being "less likely" doesn't translate to it being "unlikely." Not everyone will get married and that includes those men and women who want to get married. And tons of people will settle. But, get over those sob stories and focus on YOU. YOU may have someone out there. If a college education and a certain class standing are AMONG the criteria for your mate, don't minimize your criteria just because you haven't found the person you're looking for YET.

[AOII Angel]

I guess women are doing what men used to do...marrying their trophy husbands! I am one of the women in that group that makes more than my husband (an order of magnitude more!) but it's not due to education...he's getting his fellowship and I just did a residency. When he's done, though, he'll still only make a little less than half of what I do. Women have come a long way in earning potential from the times when we could be fired just for getting married. I think that was the point of this article.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Women have come a long way in earning potential from the times when we could be fired just for getting married. I think that was the point of this article.

Yes, if a within-gender analysis of getting fired just for getting married is the metric then women have definitely come a long way. I consider the real metric to be an across-gender analysis of how well our incomes and careers compare to men. In that regard, and in general, we have not come as far as we are led to believe. A household such as yours is the exception.

I completely see why you consider that to be the point of article. I saw a different point. So, it's definitely in the eye of the beholder which is perfect for the NY Times.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Yes, if a within-gender analysis of getting fired just for getting married is the metric then women have definitely come a long way. I consider the real metric to be an across-gender analysis of how well our incomes and careers compare to men. In that regard, and in general, we have not come as far as we are led to believe. A household such as yours is the exception.

I completely see why you consider that to be the point of article. I saw a different point. So, it's definitely in the eye of the beholder which is perfect for the NY Times.

I agree that we still have a long way to go. Women still make $0.77 on the dollar of what men make for the same job, but just a short 40 years ago, women with law degrees were expected to work as secretaries.

[DrPhil]

Precisely, Angel.

And today women with law degrees can still be found getting coffee and doing office assistant things for the men in law offices.

Awwwww, women are such nurturers. It's part of our DNA.

[agzg]

I have more "education" than live-in but he's the breadwinner in our household. I'm alright with that as long as I feel like I'm contributing something.

[cheerfulgreek]

More women are graduating from college and pursuing higher degrees than men are too. I was watching something about it last night.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I want to remind women, particularly Black women, that something being "less likely" doesn't translate to it being "unlikely." Not everyone will get married and that includes those men and women who want to get married. And tons of people will settle. But, get over those sob stories and focus on YOU. YOU may have someone out there. If a college education and a certain class standing are AMONG the criteria for your mate, don't minimize your criteria just because you haven't found the person you're looking for YET.

Thanks for posting this!

I am beyond tired of all the "Black women will never get married" articles. The NYT article really wasn't that way, so it was a refreshing change.

I'm okay with making more than my mate, but it has to depend on WHY I make more. He's a public interest lawyer? A schoolteacher? Okay, great! Unemployed? Working a low-wage, low-training job? No!

[DaemonSeid]

So the fry guy at McDonalds doesn't have a chance, huh?

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

So the fry guy at McDonalds doesn't have a chance, huh?

lol
Nope--or the guy at Scrubway or Taco Hell. (I'm kidding)

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I'm okay with making more than my mate, but it has to depend on WHY I make more. He's a public interest lawyer? A schoolteacher? Okay, great! Unemployed? Working a low-wage, low-training job? No!

lol lol lol
This made me laugh so freaking hard.

[DaemonSeid]

That's discrimination.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

That's discrimination.

Would you go out with a woman who didn't have any ambition?

[DaemonSeid]

hell. no.

But seriously, reading the article and reading you ladies' responses, I am inclined to agree. Women fought long and hard to 'be equal' to men so now that a lot are achieving this, then the next thing one would have to do is get used to the idea of possibly marrying someone that may not be on the same footing with them financially, the question for men still is can we swallow our pride and deal with a woman who does make more than we do?

I would say that IMO at the end of the day, if the bills are paid and we are struggling, what difference does it make?

We aren't living in the same world where at one time the man was the breadwinner (hunter gatherer) and the women stayed at home. it's enough trying to get along on your own let alone someone else so we all have to adjust to the roles that we take up in our relationships and focus on what else makes it work besides finance.

At the same time let's not equate making more money with taking care of someone else. Regardless of who makes more, BOTH still need to be bringing in a steady income.