Ordering high end on the first date. Is it rude or is it just me?

[Cen1aur 1963]

What do you think is reasonably acceptable (for spending) on a first date? I posted something about this in the dating and relationships thread, but I wanted to see other folks points of view on this, because I'm thinking it's just me thinking like this. Like I was saying, I'll pay for the first date, but do you think it's rude for a girl to order a lot of high end food/drinks from the menu if the dude is paying for the date? On your first date what did you spend/order? Would you date her again if she ordered high end on you? I'm just trying to see if I'm looking into this too hard.

[knight_shadow]

If you don't want to spend that much money, don't go to a "high end" restaurant. I don't mind paying, but if I'm not trying to spend that much, we'll skip the 5-star Steakhouse and go to Pappadeaux or something.

[PiKA2001]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

If you don't want to spend that much money, don't go to a "high end" restaurant. I don't mind paying, but if I'm not trying to spend that much, we'll skip the 5-star Steakhouse and go to Pappadeaux or something.

This and you also have to take into consideration the type of person you are asking out as well. I don't think it's rude unless she is purposely ordering the most expensive things on the menu just to break your wallet, which if that's the case you shouldn't ask her out again.

[33girl]

If he takes you to Ruth's Chris, don't order the most expensive steak plus the lobster tail plus dessert.

If he takes you to McDonald's, don't order the large Mushroom Angus Burger meal.

Order at the low or medium end of the price range on a first date. This applies no matter what kind of restaurant you're at.

And girls, learn to drink drinks that aren't pussy drinks that they WAY overcharge for. I think a guy would much rather hang with a girl that drinks whiskey and water than one who orders round upon round of girly girl cocktails that cost twice as much.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by 33girl

And girls, learn to drink drinks that aren't pussy drinks that they WAY overcharge for. I think a guy would much rather hang with a girl that drinks whiskey and water than one who orders round upon round of girly girl cocktails that cost twice as much.

When I was dating, if I went on a date to a nice place and we had a drink at the bar while waiting for the table, I would usually pick that one up. My mother was appalled when I told her this. That said, this would always be date 2 or more. I would never commit to a full meal on a first date.

[thetalady]

If she orders the most expensive thing on the menu on the first date, I think you should be grateful!!

At least you know early on that she is a diva that will expect to be be wined & dined and probably end up being way high maintenance. In the end, it will be a cheap lesson!

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If he takes you to Ruth's Chris, don't order the most expensive steak plus the lobster tail plus dessert.

If he takes you to McDonald's, don't order the large Mushroom Angus Burger meal.

Order at the low or medium end of the price range on a first date. This applies no matter what kind of restaurant you're at.

This.

I think a guy would much rather hang with a girl that drinks whiskey and water than one who orders round upon round of girly girl cocktails that cost twice as much.

And definitely this!

[KSig RC]

If you're going to order 'expensive' off the drinks list, make it wine (assuming you know what you're talking about, and didn't just order by price) - not close.

At the same time, getting a beer is one thing, and an Icehouse completely another (same with something like well scotch with a sidecar) - shoot for that middle ground, neither high nor lowbrow.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by 33girl

And girls, learn to drink drinks that aren't pussy drinks that they WAY overcharge for. I think a guy would much rather hang with a girl that drinks whiskey and water than one who orders round upon round of girly girl cocktails that cost twice as much.

"Girly girl cocktails" often have more alcohol than straight up.
Just sayin.'

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

"Girly girl cocktails" often have more alcohol than straight up.
Just sayin.'

I am a certified mixologist. No they don't.

And this isn't about "if you can't afford a place, don't take a date there." It's about not looking like a greedy gold digger on the first date. I never doubt that the guy can afford a place if he takes me there - it's about his perception of me. It's in the same category as not getting shitfaced on the first date, IMO.

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If he takes you to Ruth's Chris, don't order the most expensive steak plus the lobster tail plus dessert.

If he takes you to McDonald's, don't order the large Mushroom Angus Burger meal.

Order at the low or medium end of the price range on a first date. This applies no matter what kind of restaurant you're at.

I agree with this as well, although I'll add that when I was dating, I never took someone out on a first date where I couldn't afford something on the menu (assuming the girl didn't order 10 courses).

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I think I read a Miss Manners article that says that guests should almost always order from the middle price range of the menu...ordering expensive is rude and ordering cheap could be construed as you thinking whether the paying person cannot afford more. Taking your cue from what the host orders is also appropriate...if they order steak, lobster, and Dom Perignon then ordering from the top of the menu is fair game.

This is what my parents taught me as well. It's not a just a first-date thing, it's a guest thing. If your friend's parents or your roommate's parents or prospective employers take you out for a meal, you order from the middle price range, unless it's very clear from the hosts' cues or from context (for you, Dr. Phil) that it's okay to go more expensive.

[amIblue?]

I think it's inconsiderate of the person not paying (whether it be a female or male) to go nuts with ordering the most expensive items on the menu. I'm married now, but when I was dating, I would usually ask my date what he was ordering, find the price, and then order something around the same price range.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

I think it's inconsiderate of the person not paying (whether it be a female or male) to go nuts with ordering the most expensive items on the menu. I'm married now, but when I was dating, I would usually ask my date what he was ordering, find the price, and then order something around the same price range.

I used to do the same thing when I dated, looooooong, loooooong ago and i made sure that our children understood that they should ask their host "what looks good to him/her" if someone was treating them to a meal out. As for those who don't do this, I think the best suggestion was the majority consensus, that a host take a guest to a place well within the host's price range.

Dr. Phil, what great advice to KillarnyRose. Sometimes I know that I don't stop to think that the person treating me is getting pleasure from doing so, and I should just "go with the flow." Thanks for the reminder!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Cen1aur 1963

I did tell her to order whatever it is she wants off the menu, .

lol
Why did you tell her that? I mean, why was that even necessary?

Originally Posted by TonyB06

What precipitated you saying "order whatever you want?" Had she asked your opinion on any of the menu items? Had she asked if you'd dined there before?

lol

Originally Posted by TonyB06

Her menu selection is one of the many unstated markers that you pay attention to, particuarly on a first date. People will usually, through their actions, show you far more than they will tell you.

This! FTW!

Originally Posted by TonyB06

Even saying "order whatever you want" should not have been taken as an invite for her to go buckwild on the menu.

lol