African American women in CPC, opinions, please?

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ellebud

Time clarification: Miss Teen California, USA...I'm not sure what graduated several years before I began at this school. (I believe that would have graduated in '68 or so). I wasn't there yet. She was famous on the row and in the house for her beauty and intelligence. I know that she was pinned to a fraternity boy because of the pictures but beyond that..........I didn't "know" her. Was she famous because she was Black? No. She was a beauty queen which, at that time, held great cache. And, according to house legend was one of the nicest girls ever.

She was "famous" because she was Miss Teen California and a Black Miss Teen California, USA. I'm not sure why being a Miss Teen California would really mean anything to collegiates, but whatever works for them. She's stunning, she's "famous," she's BLACK. And not in that order.

Whoa, now we're hearing there's a house legend that she's one of the nicest girls ever. Shouldn't house legends be reserved for more interesting stuff? Oh well, it's great to have so many qualifiers for this Black initiate. What would we do without qualifiers?

Originally Posted by ellebud

Pat and I shared only one year in the house. During the second quarter she made an announcement in chapter meeting her problem of reconciling her membership in the BSU and the sorority. SHE said that on campus she would not/could not acknowledge us. And we, in accordance with the times, agreed to let her follow through on this decision.

Exactly. It literally and figuratively "is what it is."

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

What perfume were you wearing? I'm asking that seriously. I'm curious.

Pretty sure it was a Bath & Body spray of some sort.

[BabyPiNK_FL]

: THIS ENTIRE THREAD (The hijacked part anyway).

[DrPhil]

: THIS ENTIRE THREAD (The hijacked part anyway).

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

If I remember reading in Muchkin03's post a page or two ago, she said something to the effect that she had to change her behavior to fit in with her (White) sisters. Or, there is an expectation that a minority will change his/her behavior to fit in with their White counterparts.

Wait, when did I say that?

[BabyPiNK_FL]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

: THIS ENTIRE THREAD (The hijacked part anyway).

GOOD FOR YOU!

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Wait, when did I say that?

Page 6, your post #81 - at least that is how I interpreted what you said. Maybe you meant something different?

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

Page 6, your post #81 - at least that is how I interpreted what you said. Maybe you meant something different?

Yeah, I meant something completely different with that one there.

For the record, I acted the same way with my sorority sisters as I did with any of my friends at that time (of all races). I say "at that time" because that was over a decade ago and I probably don't act the same way now.

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

It is a reciprocal relationship. Some of these people are not accused of "acting white" because they do things like speak well and get good grades. Afterall, many of us went to all white schools, were always honor students, speak well, but were able to maneuver both worlds quite well (with exception for the people who weren't accustomed to Blacks who spoke well, etc.).

Socialization is powerful and that applies to the things that I typed in the other response to you. If you take someone who has been socialized as the "Black visitor for whiteness/white privilege," that will reflect when they are all-Black settings. The Black person who is no longer "the Black person here" now has to deal with not being the center of attention. Now they are just like the rest and they will be called out if they appear disconnected, discontent, insecure, unaware, and socially inadequate based on cultural identifiers.

This is sooo true and I wish people would get it. I have navigated both worlds (predominantly black vs. predominantly white) all my life and noticed that when a Black person is called out for "acting white" by other Blacks, it's not always because the person is being accused of speaking well and having high academic standards. A lot of times they are speaking of the person's disconnection to their culture and other Blacks. I have watched some of these persons purposely not speak or interact with other Black people and try to act like and do what their white peers were doing, including allowing their own hair to break off and fall out because they were washing it every day and using products (with drying agents) not meant for their hair texture. This kind of thing is what is meant often times when a Black person is accused of "acting white."

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

This is sooo true and I wish people would get it. I have navigated both worlds (predominantly black vs. predominantly white) all my life and noticed that when a Black person is called out for "acting white" by other Blacks, it's not always because the person is being accused of speaking well and having high academic standards. A lot of times they are speaking of the person's disconnection to their culture and other Blacks. I have watched some of these persons purposely not speak or interact with other Black people and try to act like and do what their white peers were doing, including allowing their own hair to break off and fall out because they were washing it every day and using products (with drying agents) not meant for their hair texture. This kind of thing is what is meant often times when a Black person is accused of "acting white."

Co-sign!

Black culture cannot be reduced to low socioeconomic status, bad grades, and "broken English" and "Ebonics." There is more to understanding and identifying with Blackness and what people mean when they think someone is disconnected from it.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

This is sooo true and I wish people would get it. I have navigated both worlds (predominantly black vs. predominantly white) all my life and noticed that when a Black person is called out for "acting white" by other Blacks, it's not always because the person is being accused of speaking well and having high academic standards. A lot of times they are speaking of the person's disconnection to their culture and other Blacks. I have watched some of these persons purposely not speak or interact with other Black people and try to act like and do what their white peers were doing, including allowing their own hair to break off and fall out because they were washing it every day and using products (with drying agents) not meant for their hair texture. This kind of thing is what is meant often times when a Black person is accused of "acting white."

Eek. People actually DO this?

[Jill1228]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Eek. People actually DO this?

I was wondering the same thing

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by Jill1228

I was wondering the same thing

I wouldn't have written it if I hadn't seen it and DrPhil wouldn't have co-signed if she hadn't. Not everyone embraces their "Blackness" and you can insert any ethnicity in the blank. Unfortunately, not everyone loves who and what they are and some are in serious denial about their unique needs in caring for themselves mentally, emotionally, and physically when compared to others. Sad, but true.

[DrPhil]

Yesssssss. I think I referenced the hair texture thing a couple of posts ago.

In the few instances where nonwhites are the power and population majority, something similar happens:

I may've shared this story before but I remember the hottest white guy at my middle school who was widely accepted as "the cool white guy" and "the fine white guy." That certainly went to his head (also literally, you'll see) and he started doing everything he could do to dress like, talk like, and even walk like "one of the Black boys." The funniest thing was that this was in the '80s and Black guys were shaving their names and stuff in their heads. Well, guess what, his hair texture wasn't conducive to that...not even if he tried to do a buzz cut or fade...but he damn sure tried. LOL. It was the funniest thing. He was so laughed at that he wore a hat for 2 weeks. God bless his soul as he was reminded that he is not "just like us."

Of course, not all white ethnicities have the same hair texture and not all Blacks and African Diasporics have the same hair texture. But, you damn sure need to understand whether or not you share the same texture of those you are trying to mimick.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

I wouldn't have written it if I hadn't seen it and DrPhil wouldn't have co-signed if she hadn't. Not everyone embraces their "Blackness" and you can insert any ethnicity in the blank. Unfortunately, not everyone loves who and what they are and some are in serious denial about their unique needs in caring for themselves mentally, emotionally, and physically when compared to others. Sad, but true.

That IS sad. I mean, I have always had more non-Black friends than Black ones, but I have never for a second thought to wash my hair everyday. That, and I'd rather not be bald. lol.