Pregnant and in a sorority - Page 7

nittanyalum · #91 01-17-2008, 12:13 AM

^^^Completely understand your point and I feel the same way, I was just noticing that this thread is on page 6, all us alums have repeatedly pleaded with her to think ahead and call whoever she needs to to get early alum status, but she's either going to do it for herself or she's not. It's just starting to feel like we're all here talking to each other and she's just going to do whatever she's decided, she's probably off looking at reception halls and baby clothes and we're still here preaching to our own choirs...

skylark · #92 01-17-2008, 12:25 AM

True, and I agree with you.

Something that kind of just occurred to me... we also might be preaching to someone 2 years from now who comes to this site (or googles) because she's pregnant, her president told her she couldn't go early alum, but she is too afraid to openly question her president's position without knowing that at least some groups might consider an exception. About every 10 posts tells people to "use the search button" so hell, lets imagine someone actually does it and finds this particular thread and is thereafter encouraged to speak up.

By the way, :-) I am the eternal optimist, always looking for the silver lining.

nittanyalum · #93 01-17-2008, 12:29 AM

^^^Good point, this is good information, it just struck me it seems the OP stopped participating (and seems to have given up) but we're out here still pushin'. But you're right, maybe it will help someone in the future. I'm usually mostly optimistic too, but today I'm crampy and cranky so my patience is short....

SthrnZeta · #94 01-17-2008, 12:58 PM

I just find this whole thing so frustrating. And I hate to say this, but I agree with the point that I think we care more about her staying a Zeta than she does - which is sad. I understand being in a sorority doesn't "interest her" right now but 5 years from now it might and it'll be too late. No one expects her to immediatley join an alum chapter as soon as she'd go alum and be all active - and that's the beauty of being alum - YOU decide how much you participate. And it's SO CHEAP! $35-$40 ish a year is nothing compared to collegiate dues! And that's only IF you decide to join an alumnae chapter! Sigh. I almost wish I could talk to this girl in person and just say, hey! Call the GA cuz your VP3 is just plain wrong! Of course ZTA wants to keep you, all GLO's rely on the support of their alumni and will go to great lengths to keep them.

ztaberry28 · #95 01-18-2008, 05:01 AM

Let me set something straight of course I love zeta with all my heart i made a vow to my sisters but certain things happen in our lives that take precedence. I know you alums have all had enriching experiences but my life isnt my sorority. Ive also had to give up being on swimteam and probably will have to give up a semester or two of school. How can I be expected to leave all those behind? None of this is easy for me and I wish ya'll would appreciate that Im not gonna force myself into early alum if its not what my chapter wants. Realistically the seniors probably are doing this to me to show how unhappy they are about it and I dont blame my other sister for not telling them. If they wanted me to go early alum they would have helped me already.

AOII Angel · #96 01-18-2008, 07:10 AM

ZTAberry...of course this is all your decision, but we all hoped you'd see that ZTA is more than just your collegiate chapter and that it doesn't have to be your whole life to participate after you graduate (or go early alum.) Just because your chapter doesn't want it doesn't mean you shouldn't get your early alum status. It's your membership not theirs. But, if you don't want it, that's a completely different story. Don't blame us for trying...we just see the forest for the trees where you are currently looking directly at the leaves.

AlphaFrog · #97 01-18-2008, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Don't blame us for trying...we just see the forest for the trees where you are currently looking directly at the leaves.

HA! I like it.

FSUZeta · #98 01-18-2008, 09:02 AM

it is not up to the chapter to decide whether you take early alum, status or not-that is entirely your decision. it seems that you have decided not to pursue early alum. status. so be it.

SthrnZeta · #99 01-18-2008, 09:26 AM

Your collegiate EC doesn't always know everything and you don't really realize that until you're alum. They also don't speak for the National officers. Just because a few sisters may not agree with your decisions, doesn't mean they have the right to force you out of ZTA. And if you aren't willing to stand up to them to secure your place forever in our sisterhood, then it truly is your loss. We have all told you how easy it would be and how great it would be for you to go early alum rather than dropping your sisterhood altogether but you don't seem to be hearing any of us. You have many sisters on here who, let's face it, are wiser than you when it comes to these things and I just wish you would take our advice. Also, I am beginning to question your commitment attitudes in general: when you were initated into ZTA, it was forever. It seems, that being in a sorority was just a college activity for you, and that's sad because it's meant to last a lifetime.

AOII Angel, nice quote there. And so very true...

violetpretty · #**100** 01-18-2008, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

Let me set something straight of course I love zeta with all my heart i made a vow to my sisters but certain things happen in our lives that take precedence.

We're suggesting early alumna status so that, in the future, you have the option to participate in Zeta as an alumna, like 5 or 10 years down the road.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

I know you alums have all had enriching experiences but my life isnt my sorority.

Obviously, it isn't right now, and it shouldn't be. You do have more important things going on right now. But again, by not pursuing early alumna status, you are closing a door that you can never open again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

Ive also had to give up being on swimteam and probably will have to give up a semester or two of school.

These are things that you can resume once things have settled down in your life. Unless you pursue early alumna status, you can't go back to Zeta.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

None of this is easy for me and I wish ya'll would appreciate that Im not gonna force myself into early alum if its not what my chapter wants. Realistically the seniors probably are doing this to me to show how unhappy they are about it and I dont blame my other sister for not telling them. If they wanted me to go early alum they would have helped me already.

First of all, whether you withdraw or go early alum, you won't be around, so I am not sure why the nasty seniors in your chapter would care either way. Second of all, it's your right to go early alum. It's not the seniors' decision. Third, your chapter's EC does not have the final say. They are most likely, like you said, being mean to you and just reading out of the manual which likely doesn't have prescribed procedures for when a member becomes pregnant. I would bet a lot of money that your chapter's advisors DO have the power to overturn the EC's decision and let you go early alum without paying this semester's dues.

I think it's really sad that you're letting some nasty seniors bully you around and not seek early alumna status. Seriously, all you have to do is make a phone call to your advisors and sign some things, no more trouble than it would be to withdraw.

You're closing and locking the door on a lifetime of sisterhood in the future by choosing to not call an advisor, and that is YOUR loss.

violetpretty · #**101** 01-18-2008, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

On the brightside if its a girl it would be a legacy and if its a boy it would be a triple legacy for pi kappa phi, so itll be very greek...

Your daughter (if you have one now or in the future) won't be a legacy if you withdraw, but she will be if you go early alum.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

My biggest concern is how I can tell my sisters and them not get upset and make it into a drama fest when this is something that is really important to me.

Oh, avoiding drama is only important IRL, not on message boards.

skylark · #**102** 01-18-2008, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Your daughter (if you have one now or in the future) won't be a legacy if you withdraw, but she will be if you go early alum.

Good call! All these things are what I was afraid that perhaps ztaberry wasn't thinking through. Even if she never chooses to be an active alum, imagine her daughter not having the boost of being a legacy in recruitment! And some groups allow and encourage legacy-mothers to be present at their daughter's initiations... that's another experience she'd be potentially giving up along with the legacy distinction.

To me, it doesn't make sense not to fight this... but to each her own.

nittanyalum · #**103** 01-18-2008, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

On the brightside if its a girl it would be a legacy and if its a boy it would be a triple legacy for pi kappa phi, so itll be very greek...

What will be really sad will be that any boys they have will get to go off to college with this rich greek legacy behind them but any girls they have won't have any... hope they don't want to go to school in the south...

SthrnZeta · #**104** 01-18-2008, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skylark

To me, it doesn't make sense not to fight this... but to each her own.

Especially when it would be such an easy fight!!!

violetpretty · #**105** 01-18-2008, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

What will be really sad will be that any boys they have will get to go off to college with this rich greek legacy behind them but any girls they have won't have any... hope they don't want to go to school in the south...

Not necessarily the advantages during recruitment, but just the extra special bond that you could have with a daughter by being able to share Zeta with her, just ask FSUZeta!