Conduct Becoming of A Sorority Girl

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

I'd like to think that people take their vows to remain sisters as seriously as their vows to behave themselves. For instance, if a girl is repeatedly getting drunk at frat houses and doing things she shouldn't, is it ok to just kick her out, no questions asked? In my opinion, no. It's everyone else's duty as sisters to attempt to help her; volunteer to go with her to AA meetings, volunteer to be a go between with parents if they are difficult, volunteer to keep an eye on her at parties, that sort of thing. If she is given a second chance and refuses ALL help from EVERYONE who offers it, then I think her membership should be called into question. I take sisterhood very seriously...on the other hand I'm also aware that as college students we all have very limited resources when attempting to help others.

As for a member that is pregnant, I think that asking her to take alum (not inactive) status is reasonable. I don't see how she could possibly raise a child (especially as a single parent) AND fulfill all sorority obligations...and I don't think those that put themselves into a situation should be given slack in the obligations...let's be honest...an alcoholic had the choice, a pregnant girl had the choice, a girl hooked on drugs had the choice...a sister with cancer did not. BUT I do think as a sister she should be given all support that she needs and should not be shunned. Everyone makes stupid decisions and one thing I've struggled with is knowing that the people that condemn someone for, say, drinking underage and getting arrested did it themselves last night, or for "sleeping around" hooked up with a random guy at a party last weekend. Fortunately for them, they did not get caught or get pregnant. You can't really erase either of those things...college students make mistakes and some unlucky ones will pay...some never will.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I don't find smoking in public or drinking on the dance floor (what?) to be "unladylike." I don't understand how following archaic rules of what is permissible for female behavior deepens your commitment to your sorority or strengthens relationships between women.

It makes me sad that you actually think "changing a lot of things" to be a part of a sorority is acceptable! Furthermore, I'm sure that at a lot of your chapters the things that you mentioned are in no way "ideals of the sorority." Those are things like leadership and integrity, not etiquette that varies widely from school to school (thank God).

I feel like that to an extent...here it's a hard line to walk. Everyone who is greek and is active (been at intramurals, Greek Week, etc.) would know I'm an Alpha Gam even if they have no idea what my name is. So if I act like a cheap whore at the bar then they will talk about "that Alpha Gam". At the least, though, for the sake of sisters who DO find it offensive, it's not a big deal to leave the letters at the door as we say. If I know I'm going to hang out with a bunch of Delta Chis and there will be alcohol a plenty it's no skin off my nose to wear something with AGD on it.

On the other hand we're college students and there's no chapter on campus that has NO drinkers, NO underage drinkers, NO girls who hook up a lot, and probably there's someone in every chapter hiding an affection for drugs (haven't met them yet, but I'm not believing NO ONE does it)...saying that based on our campus. It's pretty liberal. Drinking and dancing isn't a big deal to me...nor do I think it would be to a sister on this campus...in any sorority. Drinking on the dance floor while sandwhiched between two guys with a cigarette in the other hand...

Common decency. Would your mom be pissed if you were drinking and dancing? Probably not, or she'd get over it at least. Would she be upset about you looking veeeeeeeerrrrrryyyyy wasted? I'm bettin' yes.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I don't sugarcoat it, that's just the phrase I've heard used most often

Yes, you are sugar-coating it. You admit that you know exactly what it really means right here:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Um, the phrase I've heard most often is "Gosh Darned Independant" mostly because people choose to say that over saying "God Damned."

People (and you as well apparently) choose to say "Gosh Darned" instead. In other words, they sugar-coat it.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I fail to see how saying GDI or even "God Damned Independant" equates bad behavior.
It's only an excuse if you think it's something that's wrong.
I don't acknowledge that the phrase is wrong, so I'm not excusing anything.

This just completely defies logic. So you wouldn't be offended if I called you just one of those God Damned Sigma Kappas? That's nuts! That would be a horrible thing to say.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

It's a colloquialism, not a literal damning of independants (like anyone here has the power to damn someone).

Please don't even start defending colloquialisms. That's one seriously slippery slope.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

And getting huffy when people use it, often because it was used on their campus in a completely positive way, is little more than elitism.

I'm not buying this for one second. If you're really saying that GDI is a positive thing to say about someone on your campus, then I guess I have to believe you but it was very negative on my campus and on every other campus I've been on.

Oh, and fine, so I'm an elitist. So be it.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Fine, don't use it, but don't look down at people who do.

Yes, I will look down on people who use it. Just as I look down on people who use other terms like "JAPS", "n*****s", or any other rude, offensive, condescending words.

[cuteASAbug]

How is dancing with a drink in your hand disrespecting your sorority? If anything it would be less of a risk management issue because if your drink is always in your hand, no one can slip anything in it.

[susan314]

I was trying to avoid commenting on the GDI fray, but since its not dying...

Non-Greeks on my campus used the term GDI with pride. Greeks didn't generally use the saying much - it was the non-greeks who perpetuated its usage.

I'm fairly active in an alumni group from my university, and I still hear people - some of whom graduated 10, even 20 years ago - refer to themselves as GDI when the subject of Greek life comes up.

(And I've heard a roughly even split used between gosh darned and the other gd'ed.)

Maybe its a regional thing - are you from the South or some other area where Greek life is big? GDI might be taken offensively there, but at my large Midwestern university being "GDI" was like a badge of honor for those who chose not to be Greek. (On my campus, it would have been extremely rare for a person to not be able to get into a Greek organization. Yes, they may not have been able to get into one of their "top" organizations. But if a person had an open mind and wanted to be Greek, they would have had to have some sort of bizarre, serious complication not to be able to get into any house.)

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Yes, you are sugar-coating it. You admit that you know exactly what it really means right here:



People (and you as well apparently) choose to say "Gosh Darned" instead. In other words, they sugar-coat it.



This just completely defies logic. So you wouldn't be offended if I called you just one of those God Damned Sigma Kappas? That's nuts! That would be a horrible thing to say.



Please don't even start defending colloquialisms. That's one seriously slippery slope.


I'm not buying this for one second. If you're really saying that GDI is a positive thing to say about someone on your campus, then I guess I have to believe you but it was very negative on my campus and on every other campus I've been on.

Oh, and fine, so I'm an elitist. So be it.



Yes, I will look down on people who use it. Just as I look down on people who use other terms like "JAPS", "n*****s", or any other rude, offensive, condescending words.

I knew you were going to go there and I still can't believe you did.

In what way is "GDI" like the word "nigger" or "Jap" or any other sort of racial slur. Don't sugar coat it by putting asterixs you know what word you meant. That is ridiculous and unbelievably offensive.

You've failed to understand a singled thing I've said. No shit sherlock, I know what GDI stands for, I also know that I've seen more people say "Gosh Darned" than God Damned and that is the firt phrase that pops into my head. But apparently I'm either intellectually dishonest or living in Mayberry. Right.

I am a God Damned Sigma Kappa. Proud of it. Will be for life. You don't seem to grasp the use of "God Damned" as a pride thing. Never seen someone call themselves a God Damned American? Please look up idiom in the dictionary.

Again, I'm sure the paddles on my mom's wall were made by oppressed independants who were held down by the evil Greeks.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

In what way is "GDI" like the word "nigger" or "Jap" or any other sort of racial slur.

Just what I already said. It's derogatory, condescending and rude. However, I never said it was equal to using those words. I said I would look down on someone who used those words.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Don't sugar coat it by putting asterixs you know what word you meant. That is ridiculous and unbelievably offensive.

Of course I knew what word I meant! I'm not "sugar coating" it. It's a word that I simply will NEVER say, write, type or think. Simple as that. Apparently you have lower standards.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

You don't seem to grasp the use of "God Damned" as a pride thing.

Yes, I do understand it but it's one thing to use it to define yourself and an entirely different thing for someone to use it against you.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

You've failed to understand a singled thing I've said.

Same here. We'll never come close to agreeing on this so why not just let it go.

[cuteASAbug]

I somehow doubt that calling someone a GDI would the elicit the same reaction as calling a black person the n word.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Just what I already said. It's derogatory, condescending and rude. However, I never said it was equal to using those words. I said I would look down on someone who used those words.



Of course I knew what word I meant! I'm not "sugar coating" it. It's a word that I simply will NEVER say, write, or type. Simple as that. Apparently you have lower standards.

Same here. We'll never come close to agreeing on this so why not just let it go.

Actually here it would be said with pride. On my campus it would be FAR from an insult. Usually it's ex-Greeks that use it as Greek life is so peripheral that the rest of the campus wouldn't even bother to use it.

And it is NEVER in the same category as "nigger". And I do think it helps to write it out...when you read that you remember why you would NEVER call someone that...it's sick. GDI is NOT in the same category and I think everyone who has been called by the aforementioned slur would be offended at putting GDI in that category.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

How is dancing with a drink in your hand disrespecting your sorority? If anything it would be less of a risk management issue because if your drink is always in your hand, no one can slip anything in it.

This is a good example of how current etiquette can do more harm than good. In any etiquette book I've ever read, walking or dancing with food or a drink (or smoking on the street) is simply not done. Yet, I'd much rather see a sister dance with a drink rather than risk a medically-enhanced rape. I'd like to think that future etiquette books will address this in the appropriate way.

Of course, the drink still should be in a glass, not a can or bottle.

[NutBrnHair]

Originally Posted by honeychile

This is a good example of how current etiquette can do more harm than good. In any etiquette book I've ever read, walking or dancing with food or a drink (or smoking on the street) is simply not done. Yet, I'd much rather see a sister dance with a drink rather than risk a medically-enhanced rape. I'd like to think that future etiquette books will address this in the appropriate way.

Perhaps the newer editions will simply suggest that a woman finish her drink before going to the dance floor.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

Perhaps the newer editions will simply suggest that a woman finish her drink before going to the dance floor.

That could be dangerous too...I mean, how many times do you go to the dance floor in a night? Suzie Q. could be drunk by 9 and passed out by 11.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Just what I already said. It's derogatory, condescending and rude. However, I never said it was equal to using those words. I said I would look down on someone who used those words.



Of course I knew what word I meant! I'm not "sugar coating" it. It's a word that I simply will NEVER say, write, type or think. Simple as that. Apparently you have lower standards.
Yes, I do understand it but it's one thing to use it to define yourself and an entirely different thing for someone to use it against you.

Same here. We'll never come close to agreeing on this so why not just let it go.

You manage to type "n****r" without thinking of the word that you mean? Bullshit.

My standards don't include comparing racial slurs to slang terms. I'm quite happy with them.

You don't seem to get that when independants call themselves GDIs, Greeks around them are likely to call them that and not mean anything derogatory by it. Because that's low class. To you. Bless your heart.

I understand what you've said, I just think you're an elitest who "knows best" for everyone else and thinks she has more class then everyone else. I disagree with what you've said, but I still understood it. You react with disbelief, attempted insults to me and my standards, and implications about my sorority, and gross exaggerations.

[NutBrnHair]

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl

That could be dangerous too...I mean, how many times do you go to the dance floor in a night? Suzie Q. could be drunk by 9 and passed out by 11.

I'm sorry -- in my scenario the woman has enough class not to over-imbibe. I was just commenting on drinking while dancing.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

Perhaps the newer editions will simply suggest that a woman finish her drink before going to the dance floor.

Works for me! We were always told to only get half a glass anyway. That way, you can dump the cup when necessary.

Think we ought to put our heads together & write our own version?