More Men are Marrying Wealthier Women

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Xanthus shouldn't have apologized. If you're offended by Xanthus' (or madmax's) obvious attempts at offending you, PUT HIM ON IGNORE. It is something different if people are stalking you via PM, outside of the Internet, or around the Internet. Then again, there are highly regarded and unbanned GCers who have done that to some extent.

Quoting because she's right and this deserves to be read twice.

[agzg]

In order to get the thread back to topic, yesterday's Room for Debate in the NY Times was on this study:

http://roomfordebate.blogs.nytimes.c...and-the-truth/

[DrPhil]

Alpha Wives don't have voting power in the frat but I heard they are still quite valuable.

Good old Stephanie Coontz. She's always awesome.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Good old Stephanie Coontz. She's always awesome.

She did say something I found interesting. Women are leading in college degrees, yet men are making more. Well, I wonder what majors are they choosing? I know more men who majored in business, communications, pre-med, political science/law than I do women who majored in those things. The female-dominated majors were stuff like Music, Psychology, English Lit, etc. Those lead to careers that aren't exactly profitable (but do bring lots of satisfaction ). There were not whole lot of women majoring in administration or the natural sciences. I wonder if men making more despite less going to school have something to do with smaller numbers of men in college, but the ones who do choose the "money" majors?

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

She did say something I found interesting. Women are leading in college degrees, yet men are making more. Well, I wonder what majors are they choosing? I know more men who majored in business, communications, pre-med, political science/law than I do women who majored in those things. The female-dominated majors were stuff like Music, Psychology, English Lit, etc. Those lead to careers that aren't exactly profitable (but do bring lots of satisfaction ). There were not whole lot of women majoring in administration or the natural sciences. I wonder if men making more despite less going to school have something to do with smaller numbers of men in college, but the ones who do choose the "money" majors?

I hear ya. Across majors and across career fields, men make more than women.

There are gendered effects of the percentage of men and women who go into particular career fields with and without graduate degrees. Also, being a music or social science major can make a whole lot of money depending on what you do with it (i.e. college professor versus department chair versus college administration versus private contractor, etc.). As I always tell college students, your major doesn't determine your career of choice. Men are more likely, in general, to come from many of these majors with the higher placement and earning potential. It's similar to the race effect of the awesome Tim Wise who wouldn't get half as much credibility, respect, and speaking and training engagements if he was a Black man with a PhD in a social science who is seen as speaking that "typical Black people race stuff."

Another gendered effect that has been cited in gender literature for decades is the "mommy effect." Men are significantly less likely to be the caregiver in the family or to have primary/sole custody as a single parent. Therefore, men are considered shoe-ins for career stability, career advancement, and higher wages/salary because they are less likely to have noncareer things "interfere" with their job. They are also more likely to have the time, money, and support system to pursue higher degrees/certificates/training. One way that social scientists find this to be a gender (thus, social rather than biological sex) effect is in how men who ARE the caregiver in the family or are a sole custody single parent are treated (by people, in general) and on the job. ("Dude, you have to go pick up the kids and stuff? Man, that's what a woman is good for...you'll never get in the big office if you keep pretending to be a chick.")

I won't get further on that soapbox today.

[agzg]

Oh I'm glad I posted that. I found all the point-counterpoints to be interesting.

[DaemonSeid]

Ladies, I am so glad that you all are driving the conversation...I honestly would like to see the fellas pick up here.

[Beckey B]

I guess there is no more love in the air. Of all the themes of literature written over the ages, love has probably served as the perennially dominant theme. All men are looking for someone who take care of them.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Ladies, I am so glad that you all are driving the conversation...I honestly would like to see the fellas pick up here.

I'll bite. For me I think it's great that women are achieving their goals. I don't have a problem with her making more money than me. But on the flip side of that, either way, whether she's making more than me or not, I strongly believe it is still the husband's ultimate responsibility to provide for his wife and family. Not only is he to meet her needs financially, but emotionally and physically too. Folks can do it the way they see fit, but this is how I was raised to be, and I'm not going to adapt to what it has turned into. I don't think women are inferior to men, she is his equal. In fact, if I had a daughter I would make sure she's educated so she wouldn't have to depend on a man, or anybody for that matter, but at the same time, if she were to marry, he'd better make sure he's meeting her needs financially, emotionally, and physically, otherwise he's got to go. I don't care if she's making double what he's making, he's still the provider. That's one thing I cannot stand is a lame, lazy azz man.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I don't think women are inferior to men, she is his equal.

This isn't directed at PrettyBoy:

Actions speak louder than words. Many people will speak equality when the topic comes up but act in patriarchal, mysogynistic, and sexist ways more often than not.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

This isn't directed at PrettyBoy:

Actions speak louder than words. Many people will speak equality when the topic comes up but act in patriarchal, mysogynistic, and sexist ways more often than not.

Like saying that a man should provide financially for a woman, even if she is more than capable of supporting not only herself but the whole family?

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by agzg

Like saying that a man should provide financially for a woman, even if she is more than capable of supporting not only herself but the whole family?

Pretty much.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I'll bite. For me I think it's great that women are achieving their goals. I don't have a problem with her making more money than me. But on the flip side of that, either way, whether she's making more than me or not, I strongly believe it is still the husband's ultimate responsibility to provide for his wife and family. Not only is he to meet her needs financially, but emotionally and physically too. Folks can do it the way they see fit, but this is how I was raised to be, and I'm not going to adapt to what it has turned into. I don't think women are inferior to men, she is his equal. In fact, if I had a daughter I would make sure she's educated so she wouldn't have to depend on a man, or anybody for that matter, but at the same time, if she were to marry, he'd better make sure he's meeting her needs financially, emotionally, and physically, otherwise he's got to go. I don't care if she's making double what he's making, he's still the provider. That's one thing I cannot stand is a lame, lazy azz man.

Well, he definitely can't provide for the family or even himself working at Taco Hell or Burger Slinger.

eta: I know what you meant about financial security, but did you catch that? lol

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Well, he definitely can't provide for the family or even himself working at Taco Hell or Burger Slinger.

That depends on what the expenses for the family are and what he does at Taco Bell or Burger King. It may not be ideal but it can work.

It's "funny" because what we all do for a living/where we work/our salaries would be the subject of great ridicule and jokes for some of those whose life preferences, costs of living, and socioeconomic status demand greater than what we could provide. Someone who makes 150K a year would be guffawed by someone who makes 300K a year.

That's just something to keep in mind to avoid confusing what YOU would want with what can potentially work for others.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

That depends on what the expenses for the family are and what he does at Taco Bell or Burger King. It may not be ideal but it can work.

Minimum wage is what I'm talking about. You can't live on that.