Depledging a "loser" sorority? - Page 6

KSUViolet06 · #76 10-09-2005, 05:26 PM

I'm going to be honest. No one is forcing you to stay. If you aren't happy, leave. It makes room for someone else who wants to be there. Not trying to be rude, but for every girl who wants to depledge a chapter, there is another who would give anything to join it.

Tom Earp · #77 10-09-2005, 05:50 PM

CRUNCHIES, this is one of the sorriest Threads I have ever seen.

You either decided to join this Greek Organization knowing full well what was ahead of You. You were either In or not, true?

There must have been a reason that You joined.

Now to jump up and speak badly really throws a bad light some where.

"IF" You are the type of Person You profess to be, and do not like The GLO, either Leave or try to change for the better.

SCREW YOUR BOY FIEND> He sounds like a dick head anyway!

Again, if the whole Campus was talking about This Organizatin, then why did YOu join knowing the reputation that You saw?

Get in and make a change if You can or get the heck out!

No Chapter makes a Total Sorority/Fraternity.

33girl · #78 10-09-2005, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ADPiZXalum
Drop out....pledges like you are devestating to a chapter who is struggling.

FOR.
DAMN.
REAL.

texas*princess · #79 10-09-2005, 06:15 PM

Being that I have only read the original post, I will post the following:

1) If a reputation is partly important to you (which it sounds like it is at least *part* of the reason you are considering leaving), you're in for a treat in the Greek world

Every sorority on every campus will have a reptuation. Some are good (i.e. the sorority that has a reputation for making a GPA of 3.9 every semester and beating the All-Greek, All-Women's, etc. avg. GPA) and some are bad (i.e. the sorority that always parties, etc). Many times "reputations" are not really deserved and sometimes they are just mean things that people say.

2) Sorority life is a 2-way street. You can't expect to magically become best friends with all 100 (or however many) women in your chapter. You have to spend time with them to build the bonds. Why not show a little initiative and call up some of your new member sisters and get together? Maybe you and your new member sisters can have a get together with them and all of their big-sisters. Why not call up your big sister and suggest you order a pizza and watch a movie. While it is true that they are the "active sisters" sometimes school, work, whatever gets overwhelming and maybe forget some of the little things like calling up the new girls and just asking to hang out. Show some initiative. You only get out of Greek life what you put into it. If you sit around and wait for something to happen, you are just going to be become unhappy, mad, and want to leave.... like I said, show some initiative. Maybe you can move into the sorority house? It's a lot of fun and great way to build relationships w/ ppl.

It takes some time to get completely comfortable in a new environment. I joined Delta Sigma Pi (business) and ADPi at different times in my college career. When I joined DSP, at first it was really strange for me. I felt like I didn't know anyone in the chapter, but after awhile, I made some bonds w/ people and it was all great. Then I transferred schools and even though I was already an initatiated member of DSP, when I joined the new chapter, I felt strange all over again. Like I said, it takes awhile to adjust. Then junior year (I transferred after my soph. year) I joined ADPi and I felt the same way all over again. All three times, I adjusted, made friends w/ people and enjoyed college life. It didn't happen overnight.

3) You said "any help would be greatly apprecaited". No one can really help you make this decision. It is all you. You have 2 options: you can stay where you are or depledge and try joining another house. You may or may not get into another house, but that's just one of the risks (for lack of better terms). Since you mentioned the school was Texas, there is a possiblity of their system having "free upperclassmen" during FR, but I think those spots are few and far between. I don't know a lot about Texas rush, but I hear it is very competitive.

4) If you do decide to stay, use your membership as an opportunity to try to help out the sorority. Take an office. Get involved. Is it possible that your chapter is just really overworked from doing continuous recruitment and people are weary from taking on 2 offices to keep the chapter running? Maybe the sorority just needs a few good women to be excited about turning things around to help it succeed.

That's just my take on it though

sugar and spice · #80 10-09-2005, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80

As for what others have said about working to change your chapter's reputation...in all honesty, I don't know if you can change the reputation of your chapter, at least in a time span of only a couple years. My chapter was the smallest when I joined because it had just been recolonized, so a lot of rushees didn't even consider it and we didn't mix with the "top" fraternities. Five years later, we're still considered "middle-tier" at best even though we can compete with the top sororities on numbers, looks, grades, activities, etc.

Agreed -- I think a lot of people are just not being realistic here. I went to a school that is by no means as competitive as Texas. Even here, it is very difficult to change a chapter's reputation -- it takes many, many years. There are a couple of sororities here that have reputations as the "fat" chapters because 10 or 20 years ago they were smaller groups that took the bigger girls. Now they have fewer plus-size girls than most of the middle-tier or even some of the highest-tier groups that are regarded as uniformly beautiful, but they still suffer from the rep. If someone gave you photographs of every sorority and asked you to pick out which one was regarded as the fat chapter, I bet you couldn't do it.

Now fortunately my school is one of those schools where basically every fraternity will mix with every sorority, so every sorority has a pretty active social life. The only time a sorority ever really has trouble with their social lives is when they're on probation. I don't think any group really suffers all that much because of reputation. This is not the case everywhere.

There are too many people who assume that suffering from a bad reputation on campus has no effect on the individuals in that group. For these people, I will once again reference my friend that joined the "fat" chapter at a competitive Southern school because she loved the girls. The way her chapter was treated within the Greek system led to a relapse of the eating disorder that she suffered from in high school because she became convinced that she was fat even though she wasn't. Does this make her a weak, insecure person with no self-esteem? Maybe -- I won't argue that here. Do I think that joining the chapter she genuinely loved was worthwhile in her case? Not when it contributed to health complications that will follow her for the rest of her life. She ended up leaving the Greek system in order to focus on her health, and she only got better after she left the system that made her weight such a huge focus of her life. (And I understand how she feels because I ended up going early alum after Greek drama -- unrelated to reputation, but still unnecessarily petty -- began affecting my mental health and my grades.)

While "following your heart" and all that jazz is good stuff, that alone doesn't make it worth it. You have to weigh whether or not the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. As Greeks, we'd like to believe that they always do, but that's not the case.

AchtungBaby80 · #81 10-09-2005, 06:33 PM

Wow, I'm really sorry about what happened to your friend, sugar and spice. I'm like you, I just don't buy that a chapter's rep can change overnight or that it won't affect the members, because it's a possibility that it will have an impact on how members see themselves. Luckily I wasn't negatively affected, but I didn't understand why my chapter was still "penalized" for being what it was ten years ago...yeah, back then it was struggling. Even though it was always stressed to us that recolonization was a new start and that we were part of a totally different group than the one that didn't make it, we still had to fight against the old reputation. I think I've mentioned on here before about how my parents were scandalized at first when I told them which sorority I'd joined because of what the reputation was back then...they changed their minds when they came to Parents' Weekend and saw for themselves that it definitely was far from awful, but still. It's really hard to change a reputation when it's stuck for that long. And it works the other way, too...I can think of some chapters who are considered top-notch that haven't even made quota in previous years! But they're still top-tier because that's what they've always been.

crunchies · #82 10-09-2005, 06:50 PM

I know in the end it's my choice. I posted here looking for different perspectives; thanks a LOT for all hte repies. Even the meaner, more fanatical ones, which made me realize how much people care about their organizations and how it's a give and take.

I think I'm going to stick with it, at least for a while, and try to get to know the girls better.

James · #83 10-09-2005, 06:56 PM

Why? Do you think they will become suddenly thinner and cooler the longer you look at them?

Why make it harder on yourself, the more you become friends with them the harder it will be to bow out of it.

So you become friends and still have a sucky social life.

Its like drinking till he/she is cute . . you eventually have to sober up and be stuck with the same person you would have rejected.

Quote:

Originally posted by crunchies
I know in the end it's my choice. I posted here looking for different perspectives; thanks a LOT for all hte repies. Even the meaner, more fanatical ones, which made me realize how much people care about their organizations and how it's a give and take.

I think I'm going to stick with it, at least for a while, and try to get to know the girls better.

valkyrie · #84 10-09-2005, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Why? Do you think they will become suddenly thinner and cooler the longer you look at them?

Why make it harder on yourself, the more you become friends with them the harder it will be to bow out of it.

So you become friends and still have a sucky social life.

Its like drinking till he/she is cute . . you eventually have to sober up and be stuck with the same person you would have rejected.

You're missing the point.

crunchies · #85 10-09-2005, 07:07 PM

LOL. I can't tell if you're joking, James.

It IS mostly about friendship for me. I just haven't felt much of it yet with any of the people who haven;t depledged.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #86 10-09-2005, 07:17 PM

Yeah, well, that's because it takes work.

amazinglagirl · #87 10-09-2005, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ISUKappa
Rushing junior year at a large, competitive Texas school, especially after depledging, is not a good idea.

Sorry if this was mentioned before, but lots of Texas schools have a Junior quota, so Juniors are free! Re-rushing might be a mistake for other reasons that were already talked about, but usually it's easier for a Junior to get a bid at these schools than it is for a sophmore.

Tippiechick · #88 10-09-2005, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by amazinglagirl
Sorry if this was mentioned before, but lots of Texas schools have a Junior quota, so Juniors are free! Re-rushing might be a mistake for other reasons that were already talked about, but usually it's easier for a Junior to get a bid at these schools than it is for a sophmore.

But, she's already a sophomore. Won't she have to wait out an entire year before rushing again since she accepted a bid? Wouldn't that put her at a senior level?

pinkyphimu · #89 10-09-2005, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tippiechick
But, she's already a sophomore. Won't she have to wait out an entire year before rushing again since she accepted a bid? Wouldn't that put her at a senior level?

nope she would be eligible to re-rush next fall because she accepted a bid this fall. the actual date of dropping the group has nothing to do with the one year thing. this basically prevents someone from pledging a group now, then dropping and cob-ing another group in the spring (or even now).

amazinglagirl · #90 10-09-2005, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tippiechick
But, she's already a sophomore. Won't she have to wait out an entire year before rushing again since she accepted a bid? Wouldn't that put her at a senior level?

if she drops out now, probably not. I know the rule is that you are suposed to wait for a calender year, but it's only like a month after rush at most of the texas schools so probably panhellenic would just let her rerush in the fall instead of waiting a whole two years!
I'm not sayin that's what she should do. I am just saying that she probably could.

Also, if she is talking about UT I know our chapter there did turn around their reputation kind of in the later 90s and they are doing really good now. They aren't like the top or anything but they are at max total or whatever. Plus I have a cousin who I think is probably in the group she is talking about at UT except she graduated last year and my cousin and her good friends in her chapter worked super hard to not be labeled as the loser/fat group and they know they have that reputation and it makes a lot of them mad because most of them are not like that and they are seriously trying to change it! She said they've been doing so much better every year in formal too. I don't think they made quota yet, but for the last couple a years they are getting closer and closer so they are making a lot of progress. And they are a really old chapter there and have like 100 members or something so its not like their going away!

When your a new member, it totally sucks to realize that there isn't a lot of pride in publically claiming the chapter that you joined, but they just need girls like crunchies to stick it out and give it a chance because they want to be the group that keeps girls like her, not runs them off with a scary reputation. Crunchies just needs to find the girls in that chapter that want change and convince the ones that are thinking of pulling out to stay! She probably doesn't even have any clue that the girls like her and the ones who are dropping out are the ones they are counting on to stay and actually change the reputation. Yeah I know it isnt going to work overnight but it will never work if the girls who are bothered by the reputation keep leaving instead of deciding to stay and be the ones to change it!