Should you join a "lower tier" sorority?

[littleowl33]

This has been said, but it's worth reiterating - if join XYZ when you really wanted ABC, and if you are going to spend the next four years comparing the two, dissing ABC and acting miserable at XYZ, then don't waste your time (or XYZ's time). If you feel like you can suck it up, learn to love XYZ and work to make your experience great, then go for it. I'm a very big believer in your experience being what you make it.

When I was a freshman, my chapter was really struggling. The other three groups were hovering around 100, while Kappa was hovering around 40. During recruitment, it seemed like everybody got invited back to Kappa, and everybody was talking about how ugly/fat/awkward all the sisters were. They were really sweet and genuine, though, and that's why I joined despite the fact that they were not my original first choice. On Bid Day, my pledge class was less than 1/4 the size of the other groups'. But I think the recruitment chair did a fantastic job, because almost every girl in my pledge class went on hold an officer position every year. Right now, our President, two of our VPs, and a bunch of other important officers are from that class. There weren't many of us, but I think we really turned the chapter around. A lot of times, that's all it takes.

In recent years, we've pledged several girls who were originally pledges of what most would consider the top two hottest/most popular/most desired groups on campus. The first time around, they were ecstatic because on Bid Day, they had managed to receive a highly coveted bid from the groups that were every PNM's dream. But they were quickly discovered how unhappy they were - they didn't fit in, and they found that the sisters were very different than they had seemed during recruitment. They dropped out, waited a year, and re-rushed. They've been very happy with us.

And to be fair, we've had girls who weren't happy with us. One girl in my pledge class freely admitted to me (on Bid Day!) that she was only pledging because Kappa was (in her eyes) the strongest nationally of the four on campus, and since she was going into the corporate world, she needed the connections after graduation. She didn't make any effort to connect with her pledge class, attend chapter events or get involved at all. She got one of her friends to COB and pledge with her so she wouldn't have to suffer through it alone (ironically, those two girls no longer speak - and the friend she dragged to COB is now a chapter VP and Panhellenic President!). Anyway, she lasted less than a year before realizing that you just can't coast through membership without doing anything, and is no longer a member.

We've had a few other girls join us because they just wanted to be Greek - they didn't get their top choice and they just wanted some letters. Some changed and grew to love it (after a few weeks of sulking), and one or two never did. They stuck with it, but didn't contribute much or get much out of it. Those are the cases that are really unfortunate.

I guess my main point is, again, your experience is what you make it.

[33girl]

^^^Fantastic post!!!

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by Jen

Babypink, I'm thinking the RFM has a lot to do with cross rushing starting to show some diversity. I've noticed it the last few years too. We almost always cross rushed with two particular sororities, over the last few years it's become much more mixed.

I agree that RFM seems to be affecting the pref night results regarding high/low diversity.With those heavy first round cuts, a pnm can end up with a range of choices with regard to tier/size. Maybe this lends itself to more "If I don't get my first choice, I will drop" hysteria?

[KSUViolet06]

Serious question: Is there anyone else who had never even heard the phrase "top tier" used in relation to sororities until they came to GC?

I suspect that sorority women at various schools don't just sit around and discuss how "top tier" they are (or aren't).

I have friends who are sorority alumnae from a variety of schools (from southern places like Ole Miss to western schools like USC) and this just isn't something we just sat around and talk about.

I mean, if one's chapter was considered the best on campus, it wasn't like they went around discussing it.

[littleowl33]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Serious question: Is there anyone else who had never even heard the phrase "top tier" used in relation to sororities until they came to GC?

I suspect that sorority women at various schools don't just sit around and discuss how "top tier" they are (or aren't).

I have friends who are sorority alumnae from a variety of schools (from southern places like Ole Miss to western schools like USC) and this just isn't something we just sit around and talk about.

I wouldn't say we sit around and talk about it, but I think sisters do have a definite feel for how popular each group is, or what kind of girls each group attracts. We only have three groups now, so there's not much to debate... and I guess one group by itself can't be a "tier".

[AOEforme]

Originally Posted by littleowl33

I wouldn't say we sit around and talk about it, but I think sisters do have a definite feel for how popular each group is, or what kind of girls each group attracts. We only have three groups now, so there's not much to debate... and I guess one group by itself can't be a "tier".

I'd say this. There's one group on my campus nicknamed "Visa Discover Mastercard" even by non-greeks because they are thought to take only rich women.

Not true, 'cause I was invited for pref there and I am very, very far from rich, but it's still the reputation they have.

I don't think anyone ever talks about tiers, but people think in terms of them.

Talking about it just isn't classy and most sorority women are classy. at least that's what I like to think!
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In response to the "Should you join", I think if you feel at home who cares what "tier" it is. Yes, you may not be looked at as the most popular group on campus. But, you'll have real friends, not just girls who wear the same letters as you.

IMHO, size doesn't matter. Some girls LIKE smaller groups. My chapter is about 30 women and I adore it. I know everyone really well. I earned a leadership position right away. My candidate class helped transformed our chapter through our dedication and creativity. I love my chapter and my sisters, even if we have 90 fewer girls than every other house on campus.

Finally, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. One year, we had a girl who went through spring recruitment who turned down a bid. She went through Formal in the fall and got a bid to a well-established house on campus, who was part of our Homecoming group for that year. We talked a lot during float making (she was a really nice girl so there were no hard feelings!) and she mentioned once how she had no idea who was in her new member class let alone in her chapter! She'd see a girl on the street with XYZ letters and not recognize her. "I wish I would have accepted that bid," she mentioned, "so I could know everyone".

She is now very, very happy in XYZ and on their Exec Board, so it has a happy ending. You just always think life is better in the bigger, more popular chapters- and that isn't always the case. It is what is best, personally, for you. For me, a small chapter is perfect!

[33girl]

I know with 100% certainty that there are some women in lower tier or closed chapters who would not trade the friends they made there for anything, even being in a “popular” chapter that was still open. To say as some do that if you can’t be “top tier” don’t be Greek at all is absolutely asinine.

And..there have been SEVERAL instances of a “top tier” (if not THE top on that campus) being closed for risk management issues. Nothing is certain.

Edited because the poster to whom I was responding has deleted her comment, and I didn’t want to look like Jimmy Stewart talking to Harvey.

[SigmaCat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Nothing is certain.

Absolutely true. My chapter lost its charter over a property dispute between our corp board and international. It had zero to do with our active membership. At the time of our closing, we were solidly middle-tier with good numbers and accomplished members. We were an old, single-letter chapter, the oldest continually-active chapter in the org. Given what we'd survived in the past, the closure was a shock. Even people who were familiar with the intensifying dispute never dreamed it would come tho this.

[calroses]

Originally Posted by SigmaCat

Absolutely true. My chapter lost its charter over a property dispute between our corp board and international. It had zero to do with our active membership. At the time of our closing, we were solidly middle-tier with good numbers and accomplished members. We were an old, single-letter chapter, the oldest continually-active chapter in the org. Given what we'd survived in the past, the closure was a shock. Even people who were familiar with the intensifying dispute never dreamed it would come tho this.

The XB, in truly childish fashion, took their frustration out on a bunch of collegians and future potential AOIIs, all because some alumnae refused to sign title to a multi-million dollar house over to them. AOII as an international organization is no longer about sisterhood; it's about money. And now they're running out of it. AOII Properties might well be the downfall of a sisterhood that has stood for over 120 years. For shame.