Changing your name

[opaldragon]

I was born in Mexico and my name is G__ D__ L__, where D__ is my father's last name and L__ is my mother's last name. When she married my father, she dropped L__ and became Mrs.D__. On my driver's license, both of my last names are on it, and people constantly think that L__ is my last name. However, all my paperwork, D__ is my last name. It's not that I don't respect my mother's family and her last name, but I think of myself as G__ D__. I haven't hyphenated the last names because I never have and it was just be odd to do so at this point.
In the event that I get married, I will keep G__ D__ and hyphenate his last name. If we have children, I would prefer for their last name to be HisLastName-D__. However, that will all be discussed in the event of marriage.

[AlphaGamDiva]

i plan on being Monica Mylastname Hislastname....but for our kids to just take his last name. I will be Monica Hislastname, though, for all normal purposes, and ppl will refer to me as the "mrs" or whatever. i also plan to have my maiden name as one of my child's names (for a boy).....it's different, but we can just call him "ben" for short. i also plan on having my mother's maiden name as one of our kid's middle names. i like the passing on of names (my middle name is my great-great grandmother's maiden name, and i dig it), and if the husband's name gets super passed on, the ladies of my family can get passed down, too.

i like the idea of taking the husband's name, though......i think of it as more of a gift, for someone to want me to have their name, and so i will take it with pride.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by ADPiShannan
I do have a question to all the girls out there who hate the idea of taking their husbands last name. If you keep your own and then you and your husband have children, whos last name will they get? Wont that be a pain to go around with teachers and people unsure of what name to call you.

I don't "hate the idea" of taking my husband's name. I have personal and professional reasons why keeping my family name would be in my best interests. I don't think this means that I'm not a "family" girl--I think it means that I want to maintain my ties to my family of origin as well as to my new family.

From the experience of my family, I have a pretty good idea of how this would go. My mother hyphenates personally, but she maintained throughout our academic career (by signing papers and introducing herself to the teachers and communicating with them on a regular basis) exactly what she should be called. Since she and my father visited my school on a regular basis, there was no mistaking whatsoever what the story was in the Munchkin household. My sister didn't change at all--with all of the different family structures that are so common now, the teachers and my niece and nephew's friends' parents know what's up. No confusion here.

Since children are at least a decade away, if ever, I'm not going to lose sleep as to what to call these little ova.

[abaici]

Being the stubborn person that I am, I will only have a problem with taking my husband's name if he insists. LOL. Personally, I love my last name, but my desire to share my name with my future husband and children is stronger. Don't like the hyphen or last as middle name thing. Shoot, I hate my middle name, but I will never drop it (variation of my mom's name).

[PlymouthDZ]

I will change my lastname to my husband's.

I love and respect my parents, and my grandparents very, very much, but I HATE my lastname. I've had to deal with 21 years of people making jokes about and poking fun at my lastname.. and I'm so sick of it

I thought about keeping it and doing the "Hillary" deal with my lastname then his.. but my lastname is like lime green with blue polka dots.. it doesn't go with ANYTHING.

I'm def. keeping my middle name.. especially since it's technically part of my first name (on forms and such I put Ann as first name then M as middle initial..but my real name is Ann Marie as first name) <-- for some reason, 2 first names really confuses the heck out of people.

Just please, ladies.... if you keep your lastname, but it's different from your childrens.... don't yell at your kids friends if they call you "Mrs. Kidslastname"

When I was about 8 or 9, I was over at my friend Colleen's house. Her mom said Hi to me, and I said "Hi Mrs. Colleen's Last Name" Her mother acted like I'd called her a dirty whore, started screaming at me, and sent me home. All she had to say was "Oh, no honey, my last name is different than Colleen's. It's Xxxxxxxx".

Then again, as I found out later on, her mom was craaaaaaazy.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

I actually came up with a reason to change my last name yesterday (had forgotten about this little issue).

I have the type of last name that is also a first name (Kelsey) so when people send me emails, if their address book lists last name, first name then they have a habit (those who don't know me well) of starting the email "Kelsey". So if my husband had a last name that was much more "last name oriented" I might actually consider it.

I wouldn't mind a last name of Jones (but that's a big time inside joke)...........

[GeekyPenguin]

Since I'm thoroughly confident I won't be getting married before I'm out of school, I'm going to stay as Kathleen Marie McIrish professionally. If somebody in a social circle calls me Kathleen Imaginaryman, I won't mind, but professionally, it will be my McIrish maiden name and nothing else. My parents are paying good money for me to get these degrees and I think they deserve to keep their names on them.

Also, I tend to date guys with really stupid awkward long last names. I think the only way I'd ever change it is if it was like one of my customers last weekend was - her maiden name was O'Irish like mine, but the man she married had an A last name, so now her initials are KMA and she loves it!

[Cluey]

I'm throwing caution to the wind and keeping all of my names! I earned them, so I am going to keep them all!

I refuse to drop my middle name because I do use it frequently. I don't want to drop my maiden name off into obscurity, though it is an odd name.

I guess I just don't see what the big deal is? Technically, I will be Mrs. FirstName MiddleName MaidenName MarriedName, though I am sure, socially, it would vary upon the situation.

[xo_kathy]

I'm going to take fiance's last name when we get married. But I want the minister and DJ to announce us as Mr. & Mrs. Orlando and Kathy HisLastName. Partially because he's been married before so it won't be the first time he's heard it said , but mostly because I don't want to be referred to as Mrs. My Husband (though I don't mind it on invitations and such).

I also have a very generic "American" last name. However, finace has an even more generic Spanish last name. I suppose I need to learn how to pronounce it correctly, though. I remember vacationing in Mexico and putting our reservations under his name in my American accent. I felt silly. I do think it will be fun though when I have that very Spanish last name and I'm clearly very Irish!

[AOcutiePi4ever]

Originally posted by valkyrie
I can't quite put my finger on exactly why I won't change my name. To me, it's bigger than just professional, but I don't think that saying it's independence is really right either, because I'm independent no matter what my name is. I just don't agree with the custom of the woman changing her name and I don't see how it's relevant to my life (that's not to say that I have any opinion on whether or not anybody else should or shouldn't change her name -- I'm only talking about myself). I think it's just a tradition -- and I'm not one for traditions unless I agree with them. My name is rather ethnic and very difficult -- it's impossible to spell, pronounce, and very long. Yes, it came from a man, but as soon as I was born, it became mine. It's been my name for my entire life, and as cumbersome as it is, it's mine.

Since I don't want to have kids, what name they'd get isn't an issue to me. However, I would not give kids dad's last name without at least a discussion. Since my name is so difficult, giving them hyphenated names would be unpleasant, but I don't see a problem with making up a new name for them that incorporates both mother and father's names -- or, making up a whole new name for the family. I don't see the big deal, either, about having differnent names within a family, and could see giving a girl mom's last name or a boy dad's, or something along those lines.

Also, it would offend me if anyone ever called me Mrs., especially Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast. That's just not for me, ever.

you hit it right on the money. if i get married i will NOT change my name. nopenopenope. i hate patriarchal customs. i also dont plan on having any kids, but if we did have an 'accident', s/he would get my last name. (-;

[Buttonz]

I always thought I would take his name. However, I know my current bf doesn't like his lat name and wants to change it so who knows?

[jharb]

I more than likely will hyphenate my name. Although my kids will probably have Mr. Mysteryman's last name just so there's less confusion on their part. Also my last name is fairly long so I wouldn't want them to have to have the last name of Harbison-YaddaYaddaYadda

[Queencece]

I am about 5+ yrs away from marriage, but when that time comes I will change my name and have my maiden name as my middle name and my husband's last name as my last name.

I think that it should depend on the individual woman. If she does then go ahead. If not, then it shouldn't be a problem. I think that it should be a joint decision because you have become one and its not about just you.

Q

[KillarneyRose]

I changed my name when I got married because, frankly, I'd spent my entire life at the end of the alphabet and I was sick of it! Plus, my maiden name is difficult to pronounce and my married name is easy.

If I'd thought of it, I would have probably kept my maiden name and make it my middle name, but that's not done very often where I'm from. Most of the women I know who have done that are Southerners.