Changing your name
 

Today at work we talked about women changing their last name after marriage. It got interesting, to say the least.

My question(s):

GUYS: If you are married, did your wife change her name? If so, was it a mutual decision. If not, how do you feel about it?

GIRLS: If you are married, did you change your name? Why or why not?

BOTH: Do you believe that women should their name? Why?

I did not change my name when I got married, and I won't change it when/if I get married again. It wasn't even an issue for me and it didn't even occur to me to think about changing it -- in my opinion, there is not one good reason to do it.

I believe that a woman should do whatever she wants -- it's completely an individual decision, and she should do what she prefers.

Cosign!!

Concur :)

I already have a hyphenated name (and no, it's not because I've prviously been married), and I'll likely keep *half* of my name and then take on my husband's name, as well.

I also agree that it's a very personal an individual decision, and something to think about before getting married.

Just my .02 :)

I'm a traditionalist... i plan on changing mine.

However, I do feel that its a personal decision. Everybodies different. What works for one person may not work for the next.

I hyphenated for a couple of years. I had done a great deal of horticultural research under my maiden name and didn't want to suddenly disappear; also, my mother-in-law worked on campus and she too was Mrs. ___ _____.

However, my hyphenated name was so long and cumbersome that I finally gave up doing it and just used my maiden name as much as possible. I found that since I was using Dr. and my mother-in-law was using Mrs., we didn't get confused much after all.

i am old fashioned. i think that a woman should change her name.

i know that what i say doesnt matter cause women can do whatever the heck that they want. but i think that it is important to take on the name of the male.

If/When I marry, I'm going to keep my maiden name as a middle name and take my husband's name as my last name.

I'm curious -- why?

I'm changing mine. Never even considered not changing it. I want everyone in my family to have the same name.... I've meet too many families where the mom, the dad, and each of the kids all have different names. It's too confusing.

Besides, his last name is so much easier, in my case :)

I have a really, uhmmm, interesting last name. It's been my identity for so long I can't really see giving it up. I think I would plan on hyphenating assuming his last name didn't look too weird with mine in which case I won't use his.
The only complication is kids. Assuming you have children and they take his name it would be strange to at least not be using the hyphenate. Honestly, I can also see myself giving up on the hyphenate if there's several years and a kid or two involved. As non feminist as that sounds I think that's how it will go down realistically.

Thank you for being the voice of sanity! My pet peeve is people who don't do this once they are married! Unless you go by your original middle name, you should drop it and use your maiden name as your middle name if you intend to take your husband's last name.

[/rant]

Anyway, as far as the way I feel on the subject, it doesn't really matter to me what a woman chooses about her last name once she gets married. If I ever decide to get married, I intend to keep my maiden name, because of my extreme feminist principles. (Notice the "IF" prefix of that statement, LOL.) Even bigger IF I decide to have children, they will have a hypenated last name.

Also, not many last names sound really good with Randi!

Whenever I get married, I'm planning on dropping my maiden name, and keeping my middle name, and using his last name.

May I ask why? Some maiden names (mine included) are too cumbersome to use as a middle name.

I took my husband's name and dropped my maiden name completely. Why? I wanted to. I felt no strong attachment to my maiden name (not strong enough to keep it anyway). It's long and difficult to spell and pronounce where my husband's is easier. I did not have an established career where people would know me specifially by my maiden name. I want all our family to have the same name when we have children. To me taking your husband's last name is not giving up your identity or compromising who you are, it's not a sign that my husband "owns" me; it's upholding the agreement you make in your marriage vows to become one.

Then again my vows also included the word "obey" and I had no problem with that, either. And believe me, I am a strong-willed, intelligent, independent woman, not a 1950's throwback to June Cleaver.

Personally I just think it's a pain in the you know what to change my name after all these years (all of that paperwork). I'm 34 and god knows what age I'll be when (or if) I finally get married. I've been known by this name so long, why change it.

But I also don't see it as being any big deal. Like they say "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet".