Wedding gifts

[FirstAndFinest]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

Bumping this thread because a wedding invitation arrived yesterday that perplexed me.

On the invitation (which was very, very elaborate and expensive) was the phrase "No boxed gifts please."

What does that mean? Is it a slick way of only asking for cash?

It appears that yes, that is the way of asking for cash-only gifts. How incredibly tacky to put that on (or in) the invitation!!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...0boxed%20gifts
Seen on wedding invitations, the couple are frankly demanding cash gifts. It is considered bad etiquette and a faux pas by most people, since it is rude to mention gifts in wedding invitations at all.

[FirstAndFinest]

Originally Posted by FirstAndFinest

It appears that yes, that is the way of asking for cash-only gifts. How incredibly tacky to put that on (or in) the invitation!!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...0boxed%20gifts
Seen on wedding invitations, the couple are frankly demanding cash gifts. It is considered bad etiquette and a faux pas by most people, since it is rude to mention gifts in wedding invitations at all.

Edited to remove the reference to the particular culture mentioned in that link. I don't think this lack of manners is limited to any culture!

[ZTAMich]

I hate when my husband says "Don't get them a gift, I know they just want cash". It takes all the fun out of gift buying! Plus I happen to think this is just some weird guy code and the soon to be wife will think I'm not creative or thoughtful enough to choose a gift!

[pinkyphimu]

That is the weirdest thing I have ever heard! I hoped it ment that they didn't want people to wrap the gifts to save a tree.

I would ask the bride or groom what they most want a gift from the registry or cash. I had never thought to do that, but plenty of people had asked me. I have been very general and directed people I didn't know very well to our registry. Our closest friends know that for us, we need the money more than we need "stuff."

I usually look through the person's wedding and if I find something that I really want to get for them because I know they will use or will enjoy, then I get that. If I know they are currently saving money to buy a house, I just give money. If I don't like the choices on their registry (i.e. I waited until the last minute and only the most expensive things are left), then I give cash. I come from cash giving people!

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

Bumping this thread because a wedding invitation arrived yesterday that perplexed me.

On the invitation (which was very, very elaborate and expensive) was the phrase "No boxed gifts please."

What does that mean? Is it a slick way of only asking for cash?

That means the couple is super tacky and has no class. Asking for any sort of gift is a big no-no. Perhaps a book on etiquette or manners would be appropriate. In your case however, I would recommend a lovely card that says "Congratulations, sorry we can't make the wedding" ... and your husband should feel bad about leaving you prego with a toddler. I'd kill mine if he did that.

ETA: Even the husband said that asking for cash is super classless....and he wouldn't suggest that your husband leave unless he wants to hear about it forever.

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by FirstAndFinest

It appears that yes, that is the way of asking for cash-only gifts. How incredibly tacky to put that on (or in) the invitation!!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...0boxed%20gifts
Seen on wedding invitations, the couple are frankly demanding cash gifts. It is considered bad etiquette and a faux pas by most people, since it is rude to mention gifts in wedding invitations at all.

Oh, this is all so disappointing.

While I do not know the groom, nor the bride's family, I have known the bride for 8 years and have always found her to be a delight. She has always been the epitome of giving and not of selfishness. I would never in a million years have expected this type of tackiness from her.

My husband and I have long joked that when she got married we were going, even if it were in Timbuktu. She was so kind to us when we got married and when we had our first child. In addition, she is of a very different culture than us, one which throws very elaborate and fun weddings... the likes of which are not seen in any traditional American wedding. I have only been to one, and my husband none. So we were looking foward to the hoopla!

Sigh. I will try not to let this one transgression in etiquette (though a HUGE one) taint my overall impression of her.

[Thetagirl218]

So one of my sorority sister is getting married in a few weeks! I have no clue what to get her! I am trying to spend under $50, if possible!

I am totally new to this! Any suggestions?

[ComradesTrue]

Does she have a registry? If you don't know, you have a few options:

--ask her
--ask a member of the bridal party

For most well-mannered brides, especially ones that would have many friends who are recent college graduates like yourself, and thus not yet "rolling-in-the-dough," there should be ample choices in that price range on a registry.

Examples:
-- a setting of her everyday dishes
-- a small appliance
-- a setting of her flatware
-- towels (**)

If you want something more fun and less practical (though, seriously, young brides need practical stuff, they really do!!!)
-- pieces to her bar ware
-- fun serving platters
-- household decorations

** I had one friend who did not get a single towel for her wedding. This is now her standard gift. Do not worry about getting stuff that may seem "boring." Knowing that your Theta chapter has not been around too long, I presume the bride is young. Trust me, she will need towels too!

If there is no registry, you may just have to ask around as to what she might like. You could always consider a gift card to a place like Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Gifts to be cautious of, if you go off-registry: vases and picture frames. Some brides get so many of these that they can't possibly use them all.

In some parts of the county cash is the standard gift, but I don't think that is the case in Florida. At least for both my extended family (Jacksonville) and my husband's parents' friends (panhandle) we received very nice gifts from our registry.

Hope this helps! Get ready... this won't be the last time!