Question for guys regarding virginity

[Coramoor]

Originally posted by honeychile


I should also have read where you went to school before commenting on your statements.

What?

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by Coramoor
What?

Don't worry...at least West Virginia is THE REAL SOUTH.

[CutiePie2000]

WHY has valkyrie NOT responded to this thread, yet??

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by CutiePie2000
WHY has valkyrie NOT responded to this thread, yet??

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'm known for being virginal, aren't I?

[PhoenixAzul]

Let's say you're dating a fairly attractive girl who is, say, mid 20s. She tells you that not only is she a virgin (face it, most 20something virgins have done other things), but she hasn't gone past French kissing anyone and has only kissed 5 men in her life. Would you think that she's "too pure"? She is a virgin not because of religious belief, but beause she never really had the opportunity to do it.

Hi, that's me. i'm almost 20, kissed 3 guys in my life, and I'm a virgin by my own volition and i'm damn proud of it. I've been with my boyfriend (not a virgin) for 3 years, and we're in no hurry. The ground rules were laid down pretty early in our relationship. We're both Straightedge (no drinking, no drugs, no smoking, no promiscuity, related to punk/hardcore...google sXe) and we're both practicing catholics. While being catholic has something to do with my choice, it's not the only reason. We both were straightedge way before we met, and we sort of met through that subculture.

I think what bothers me is that people are willing to discount someone who might be their soul mate because of what they aren't going to "Get". It's all about "Getting" something. That's just a very selfish attitude to me.

[PureGoldF2K1]

I feel like such a horrible person because I cant even IMAGINE being with someone for 3 years (or 6 months for that matter) without having sex. I think thats awesome that some people are able to do this if thats what they want to do, but I honestly cant even imagine myself doing this. Now I wouldnt sleep with a random or someone I didnt see myself dating for a while, but I dont know how I would wait until I was married. I just cant even imagine.

Thats so not cool of me!

[James]

Well you are not "giving" anything either. Isn't that likewise selfish?

Straightedge? You put that in capitals . . does that mean that prudes now have a club?

Originally posted by PhoenixAzul
Hi, that's me. i'm almost 20, kissed 3 guys in my life, and I'm a virgin by my own volition and i'm damn proud of it. I've been with my boyfriend (not a virgin) for 3 years, and we're in no hurry. The ground rules were laid down pretty early in our relationship. We're both Straightedge (no drinking, no drugs, no smoking, no promiscuity, related to punk/hardcore...google sXe) and we're both practicing catholics. While being catholic has something to do with my choice, it's not the only reason. We both were straightedge way before we met, and we sort of met through that subculture.

I think what bothers me is that people are willing to discount someone who might be their soul mate because of what they aren't going to "Get". It's all about "Getting" something. That's just a very selfish attitude to me.

[jharb]

Originally posted by valkyrie
HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'm known for being virginal, aren't I?

of course you are...

[GeekyPenguin]

I am sure there are just as many girls at Notre Dame and Marquette who give it up as there are at WVU - let's not attack people's schools, here.

[dphies00]

A part of me wonders (cynically) as much as people say they haven't kissed a lot of people, they're virgins, and comfortable - this is because they don't have a lover in their life. Kissing and cuddling and really wanting sexual gratification - this is the lifeblood of humanity and romanticism. It is about getting but its about receiving too.

[PhoenixAzul]

Originally posted by James
Well you are not "giving" anything either. Isn't that likewise selfish?

Straightedge? You put that in capitals . . does that mean that prudes now have a club?

xstraightedgex, sXe, Edge, hXc. All are acceptable abbreviations. It's not a club, it's a subculture.

Best reference I can give you...

"Nailed to the X: A Lyrical History of Straightedge Subculture by Robert T Wood, found in the Journal of Youth Studies, vol 2. No. 2 1999.

And I can say that my commitment to edge is stronger than any other .

[33girl]

Originally posted by Coramoor
Personal huh...?

Maybe I'm just becoming overly cynical the more I am around. I know girls in sororities that were harrassed more than any guy I know for being a virgin and in college. So much so that they made that intense personal decision to get drunk and go home with someone whose name they don't even know.

Then they were in sororities with a bunch of assholes.

We had all ends of the spectrum - girls who slept w/ quite a few guys and girls who didn't do more than kiss (I'm talking peck, no tongue) in four years of college. Everyone's choices were respected. Why on earth would you care whether someone is a virgin or not? I felt much more pressure to be sexually active in high school (not that I was), and that's where that sort of thing belongs - high school.

[33girl]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Guys:

Let's say you're dating a fairly attractive girl who is, say, mid 20s. She tells you that not only is she a virgin (face it, most 20something virgins have done other things), but she hasn't gone past French kissing anyone and has only kissed 5 men in her life. Would you think that she's "too pure"? She is a virgin not because of religious belief, but beause she never really had the opportunity to do it.

bringing this back to the original question as a lot of people obviously didn't read it.

There is a BIG difference between conciously preserving your virginity and still being a virgin because of lack of opportunity. I mean, I've never bought anything from Neiman Marcus because we don't have one here...not because I'm morally opposed to Neiman Marcus.

It might freak the guy out a little bit at first, but if the girl shows that she is willing to explore and learn with him I'd bet he'll be fine with it. If the guy walks away because of it, it's probably better for her not to be with him to begin with.

[James]

I just saw that movie!

Originally posted by Taualumna
Another question about waiting until marriage: What if you're still single at say, age 40? Wouldn't it be weird to be a 40 year old virgin? I know that I wouldn't be able to wait THAT LONG!

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

Originally posted by PhoenixAzul
Hi, that's me. i'm almost 20, kissed 3 guys in my life, and I'm a virgin by my own volition and i'm damn proud of it. I've been with my boyfriend (not a virgin) for 3 years, and we're in no hurry. The ground rules were laid down pretty early in our relationship. We're both Straightedge (no drinking, no drugs, no smoking, no promiscuity, related to punk/hardcore...google sXe) and we're both practicing catholics. While being catholic has something to do with my choice, it's not the only reason. We both were straightedge way before we met, and we sort of met through that subculture.

I think what bothers me is that people are willing to discount someone who might be their soul mate because of what they aren't going to "Get". It's all about "Getting" something. That's just a very selfish attitude to me.

Haha. Yeah, that was me too, at 20.

You're right, the rules WERE laid down very early in your relationship - AT SEVENTEEN!

Life just kinda tends to happen to you - the early 20s/colllege years, especially. You can control a lot, but not everything - and I think from personal experience, the less pressure you put on yourself to be ONE certain thing (a virgin, a good student, etc) as though it defines you, the better.

Being a virgin or a good student are both great things. But they seem to work better as the RESULT of just trying to live life well, vs. as the end result itself.