The ramblings of a single woman... (TFKA ...crying pink and green tears...

[lil_sunshine]

Originally posted by 1savvydiva


Thank you girl! I can't say that I feel better, i really don't...but it's alright. I was going thru the "antibiotics for a broken heart" thread on DST ave. I listened to the Chante Moore song and just fell out laughing about the "I hate your dog!" line. I am going to be alright. I was feeling good until he called and just went off on him and started crying, and I hate that I let him see me/hear me like that. I wish I could control my emotions a little bit better when it came to him. I can hold my tongue for everything else...but I just poured my heart out there for him to just say "OH". I really wish I could take that back! Anyway, I appreciate you being there for a sista...I really do!

I was kinda wondering what sign you were, and that your behavior sounds like something a Cancerian would do. I know b/c I'M A CANCERIAN!!!!!!!! 7/11/77!!! And I also know how you feel b/c I felt like this when I broke up with my first bf. I just didn't cry that much b/c we'd only been together for three months. Now had it been three years and I'd bought him a mattress, I think I woulda did something devious to that dayum thang (just not burn it)!!!!!! The only things that I did burn were pictures we had taken together. I also gave back the hand-me-down teddy bear he gave me for Christmas in '97 to his little sister for her birthday in 2000. My original intention was to mail the bear to his house in the box I used for my Winnie the Pooh with a malicious letter in Spanish (he's Honduran). I decided against it when he and I had become cool again temporarily (that's the key word here!) and I had called and wished his youngest sister happy birthday. I apologized to her for not having been able to get her a present and she told me, "Oh that's okay, b/c nobody's getting me anything for my birthday anyway." She had turned 10 at the time. I really felt bad and I decided to handwrite a personal note to her wishing her a happy birthday and letting her know how I felt about her. I don't know what's up with the bear now, but I don't care at this point. It's outta my hands and once I did that, I don't waste my time worrying about it. I haven't spoken to himor anyone he's associated with in over two years and even after the 9/11 attacks, I still have no desire to speak to him. I know that sounds cruel, especially after an event that was supposed to pull Americans together, but I can't associate myself with a flea-ridden dog that has binches running around sniffing around his @$$. Lo siento, papi, pero usted es lleno de mierda y todas las muchachas necesitan reconocer eso. Can ya translate that???

[strobelitehoney]

Originally posted by Ideal08


Ok, I have a killer headache, but I'm going to try and respond to this point by point as best I can.

First of all, we all have setbacks. Stop being so hard on yourself. You ARE human, and you do have emotions. Feel them. Cry all night, so? The more tears you allow yourself to shed now, they less you'll shed later. You're not a punk. You have a broken heart, and that isht hurts.

Stop avoiding your friends and family. You want the asshole that hurt you to console you, when he is clearly not the one in your life who cares the most for you. Remind yourself of why you aren't with him in the first place. Your friends and family were there before him, and will continue to be there now that he's gone. Isolation is NOT the cure for hurt and loneliness, believe me. Call your best girlfriend and get this sh!t out. Sit up, eat some ol' fattening isht with your girl, bash men, whatever. Have a waiting to exhale moment! You said in your post, he is not over there thinking about you!! So don't sit there and wallow in your self pity. What did I tell you about pity parties?

Oh, the classic, Why Wasn't I Enough feeling. Girl, I have been there. Ain't nothin' wrong with you. But you won't realize that until you are over this crap. What's happening now is that you are valuing his opinion of you over your own. Now, why would you do that? YOUR opinion of yourSELF should matter over EVERYONE else's. I tell my girls this all the time. F*** what he thinks, cuz he ain't that important. Your self-esteem is shot? So was mine. You ain't goin' thru nothin' any of us on this board haven't been thru. Do what makes you feel pretty. Standing in front of the mirror while you are crying and puffy won't work! So give yourself a pedicure. Read a book. Go see a movie WITH yourself. HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS. Read a book. Rent a movie and have some 1SD time. Light some candles and take a long hot bath. Read a book. Exercise. (Exercise releases endorphines. Endorphines make people happy. Happy people don't kill their husbands. They just don't. Oh, I'm sorry. I had a Legally Blonde moment. ) My point is, DO YOU. F*** HIM.

I was JUST thinking when I woke up this morning how I don't long to talk to the ex anymore. I remember during our FIRST break up (that should have simply been THE breakup), my very wise LS told me something that I remember to this day. She said that one day I would wonder why I was with him in the first place, and that I would be disgusted by him. That day has come and gone. And ever since that day, I've not wanted to talk to him about ANYTHING. I'm not mad anymore and I don't hurt anymore. It's been 7 months, 1SD. I wasn't crying every day for 7 months, but that's how long it took me to realize that he was not at all what God has planned for me. Before, I had started to compare myself to his new girlfriend. For what? She can't get with me (on any level), and that's the real. But instead of realizing that before, I was trying to figure out how to be meek. How to be more accomodating to men so that I didn't come off as intimidating. How to appear needy. Well, WTF? I'm not meek and I'm not needy and I'm not going to be. So I realized that I am not the woman for him because of the strength and courage that I possess. I don't know why you aren't the woman for ol' dude, but you'll realize it in time.

I didn't go thru this by myself, either. I depended on the strength of CT4 and the wise counsel of dirtymike1906. (Shout-outs!! ) Not to mention the long talks with girlfriends and sorors (OCOT!!) who kept me out of the ground.

I'm not sure what to say about the bitter part, cuz I think I might be bitter. I know that I am not trusting anymore, and that I have to work on. It's hard to not be bitter. I am finally ready to date and go out. I am ready to have FUN. 1SD, there is a whole life out there waiting for you, and it's not filled with tears. I KNOW it hurts now, believe me. But it won't last always. Remember, this too shall pass. So feel what you are feeling, and don't put on masks or pretend like you're ok. Feel it now, get it out, so you will be ready to move on when the time comes.

I am praying for you.

***EDIT*** MAKE SURE YOU EAT!!!! If it is just a salad, MAKE SURE YOU EAT!!!! Don't be over there gettin' sick behind this mofo. EAT SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!! Are you still reading? Cuz you should be leaving the computer at this VERY moment to get something to eat. GO EAT!

Ideal 08,
YOU MY DAWWWWG GUL, YOU'S-MY- DAWWG!!!!
I MEAN YOU BROKE IT DOWN. I mean you just show love, like that's all you got, AND the thing about THESE POSTS.... when you speak on them, it sounds like you are right hear, all up in my ear. LMAO
JUST TOUCHING....TRULY TOUCHING. {now where's my tissue box ha ha ha!} LMAO!!!!!

[Honeykiss1974]

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two

12 RULES in [COLOR=dark-blue]LIFE [/COLOR] and [COLOR=dark red]LOVE[/COLOR]




1. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

2. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

5. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

7. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

9. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

10. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what! you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

11. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

12. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

[lil_sunshine]

These rules are DEFINITELY true ladies!!! I remember receiving this in an e-mail and I still have it. I especially loooooove # 8 and 12. I can truly relate!!!

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two

12 RULES in [COLOR=dark-blue]LIFE [/COLOR] and [COLOR=dark red]LOVE[/COLOR]




1. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

2. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

5. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

7. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

9. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

10. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what! you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

11. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

12. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

[Ideal08]

My best friend told me something this weekend that has been constantly going through my mind. He told me that his cousin said that I am beautiful, inside and out. That I'm smart, I keep it real, and I say what's on my mind. He said that I am the type of woman that every man wants and looks for.

My question is this: What happened? If this is true, where is my mate???? And I am uninterested in my friend's cousin, before that question even comes up. All I'm sayin' is, if I'm all that, what's really goin' on???????

I am in LBM today.

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by Ideal08


My question is this: What happened? If this is true, where is my mate???? And I am uninterested in my friend's cousin, I am in LBM today.

What's wrong with your friend's cousin? THAT'S THE PROBLEM! If HE is into YOU, you better get your azz out of LBM and become INTERESTED IN HIM.

Whatever you don't like about him.... (or have you forgotten?)
l
l
l
l
v

[FeeFee]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
What's wrong with your friend's cousin? THAT'S THE PROBLEM! If HE is into YOU, you better get your azz out of LBM and become INTERESTED IN HIM.

Whatever you don't like about him.... (or have you forgotten?)
l
l
l
l
v

Yeah, Ideal, what's wrong with homeboy??? C'mon, we won't tell anybody.

[Ideal08]

Originally posted by FeeFee
Yeah, Ideal, what's wrong with homeboy??? C'mon, we won't tell anybody.

Sigh. Can't just take stuff at face value, can y'all? Always wantin' to know something. Y'all some nosey SAS. That's why we friends, lol.

Dude does not work. He is smart as all get out, but does not work nor go to school. I don't get down like that. I'm lonely, not desperate, lol.

[FeeFee]

Originally posted by Ideal08
Sigh. Can't just take stuff at face value, can y'all? Always wantin' to know something. Y'all some nosey SAS. That's why we friends, lol.

Dude does not work. He is smart as all get out, but does not work nor go to school. I don't get down like that. I'm lonely, not desperate, lol.

I guess that would make you look at him in a different light. lol

[Steeltrap]

Originally posted by Ideal08
Sigh. Can't just take stuff at face value, can y'all? Always wantin' to know something. Y'all some nosey SAS. That's why we friends, lol.

Dude does not work. He is smart as all get out, but does not work nor go to school. I don't get down like that. I'm lonely, not desperate, lol.

Soror, I feel you on not getting down like that.

A man who doesn't work or go to school is most unacceptable and is something less than manly, IMO. Real men work or go to school in order to prepare themselves to be contributors to functioning families and don't make excuses. This is how I was raised, by a real man (RIP DaddyTrap, 1922-1996)

[1savvydiva]

Originally posted by Steeltrap

A man who doesn't work or go to school is most unacceptable and is something less than manly, IMO.

LOL, somehow when I read this line, it made me feel like I should be sipping tea and fanning myself on the porch! It just sounds like something out of an etiquette book, LOL!

Anyway, I agree wholeheartedly...Ideal08 that is something you cannot look over. "No Job, no plans? OOOH, no, that's the wrong answer. Sorry Charlie...thanks for playing....NEXXXT!"

**eta**
Ideal...I think you and I are on a similar schedule, I was thinking about this thread the other day. But what does make me feel good is that I am soooo far away from the point that I was at 5-6 months ago, and I am glad. He is still around (lurking), trying to make a reappearance , but now, it's more like his presence is more an aggravation than painful. He calls and sounds so so pitiful . My new favorite song is JT's "Cry me a River w/50 cent. Oh well...like my mom says, "You have to get rid of the old, to make room for the new". I just wonder when something REAL will come along, it seems like I have just been playing around for the last coupla years.

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by FeeFee
I guess that would make you look at him in a different light. lol

Uhhhhhhhh, that's what I basically told her yesterday (not in those specific words) LOL

[Sahara]

Originally posted by Ideal08
My best friend told me something this weekend that has been constantly going through my mind. He told me that his cousin said that I am beautiful, inside and out. That I'm smart, I keep it real, and I say what's on my mind. He said that I am the type of woman that every man wants and looks for.

My question is this: What happened? If this is true, where is my mate???? And I am uninterested in my friend's cousin, before that question even comes up. All I'm sayin' is, if I'm all that, what's really goin' on???????

I am in LBM today.

Whatever is going on, the problem does not lie with you! It's just hard for an attractive, intelligent, and mature black woman to meet her match. We have high standards (which is why you don't want brotha man). We deserve to have those standards met! When you least expect it, it'll happen.

oh, what's LBM?

[Ideal08]

ttt cuz i'm lonely

[Ideal08]

Originally posted by Ideal08
My best friend told me something this weekend that has been constantly going through my mind. He told me that his cousin said that I am beautiful, inside and out. That I'm smart, I keep it real, and I say what's on my mind. He said that I am the type of woman that every man wants and looks for.

My question is this: What happened? If this is true, where is my mate???? And I am uninterested in my friend's cousin, before that question even comes up. All I'm sayin' is, if I'm all that, what's really goin' on???????

I am in LBM today.

funny how i am right back at this point AGAIN. i'm getting agitated, if y'all wanna know the truth.