The ramblings of a single woman... (TFKA ...crying pink and green tears...

[Ideal08]

Soror Convinced, I'm suffering, too!! I am so tired of my friends getting married. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them, but I'm starting to feel that twinge of jealousy. I want a husband and a family of my own. I think most of us do. Unfortunately, I'm lacking in the boyfriend department, so a husband is out of the question right now, let alone a family. The only good that is coming from this whole situation is that I'm getting to know Ideal a little better. But I'd rather get to know a man!! So, no, you're not alone with the lack of a man psychosis! lol

[ManndingoNUPE]

I will tread lightly,least I get my fingers slapped on this one. But sistas, you sound like wonderfull, dynamic ladies that any man would be proud to call his wife. My thing is when it is ment to happen it will. I know this is easy to say, but it is so true. I have to believe that God will send a man to you when he feels that you are ready to accept him into your life.

Sometimes whe think that we are ready, and we really are not. I recently got out of a long term relationship. Now me and this woman had talked about marriage, and I knew that I was ready to settle down now that I have my career started. But quite honestly, God had other plans, becuase me and her really weren't ready.

I say this becuase women are not the only ones who sometimes wonder when will I get called to the big dance. While men don't have biological clocks, we do have watches and we count the years just like women do. I believe that most men want to eventually settle down and have a family.

I would always tell my ex that if we didn't make it, that she was going to make it better for my next. I happen to believe that.

I have to go back to that scene in Waiting to Exhale, when you have 4 lovely, successul sistas sitting around drinking wine and just chilling. Now those are the kinds of parties I want to go to. You can have the club.

I can't wait to have my bros singing the sweetheart song to my wife. I will patiently bide my time until the man upstairs decides that I am ready to accept someone into my life.

Peace, Luv, and Good Luck

MN

[This message has been edited by ManndingoNUPE (edited November 29, 2000).]

[toocute]

Hello All,

MandingoNupe that was the sweetest post!
Ladies he is correct, The right man will come when God feels you are ready. God sent me mine in college. I married my college sweetheart three years ago.

And Convinced...girl you're only twenty five! I got married when I was 28! :-)

[Ideal08]

That was a sweet post, ManndingoNUPE. And I feel you, I'm trying to wait patiently on God. I'm only 26, but I had in my mind that I would have been married two years ago. I just want to have my children before I'm 30. My parents were a little older when they had me, and now they've both passed on. I want things to be different with me and my kids. And at the same time, I want to be able to spend time with my husband before we have children. But it's only my time that's winding down, not God's time. I guess I have to look at it that way. I do realize now that I wasn't ready to be married at 24. And I'm probably not quite ready now. All I'm asking is can I meet the brotha??? We don't have to get married right now, I just want to meet him! Dang... maybe I already have. On that thought, I'm out.....

[Eclipse]

Originally posted by toocute:
God sent me mine in college. I married my college sweetheart three years ago.

And Convinced...girl you're only twenty five! I got married when I was 28! :-)

toocute, I met my hubby while in college too. We got married 11 years later, 3 weeks before my 30th birthday! Almost 5 years later we are still mushy, yucky in love (well, most of the time, but that's another story! ) I always say I am glad we did not get married earlier 'cause I would either be a divorcee or a widow by now!!

[MIDWESTDIVA]

Ladies,

I am a very beautiful , intelligent, 26 year young woman, who is also a bridesmaid, never a bride. But I also believe that God will introduce us to our future mates in his time, not ours. And the same thing goes for children. Stop putting these unrealistic time frames on yourselves (ie. I have to have 2 children by age 30). You know Sarai was way older than that when she became a mother.

And think of it this way, Angela Bassett married for the first time at age 40! And you KNOW she's got it going on (ivy league educated, talented, beautiful, killer body, etc).

Keep your heads up ladies!!!

------------------
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige)

[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited November 29, 2000).]

[Miss. Mocha]

Ideal08,

I just had to post. Having babies before you are 30 is not all it's cracked up to be. I know from experience. Not that motherhood isn't DIVINE!!! It is, but it can DIVINE later in life, too.


I had my daughter when I was 24. I wanted to have her "younger", because I really wanted to be able to relate to the "kid" things that she would do. To this day, I love that part. I love chasing my daughter down the hallway, trying to tickle her. I love hiding behind a door and jumping out saying a loud "BOO!!".

However, there are down sides. Sometimes, I don't have the patience that I would like to have with her. I feel that this is a lack of maturity on my part (I believe that maturity is a process, not a goal. I'm maturing more everyday). Sometimes, I feel like I'm a little too "girlfriend-esque" with her...if you know what I'm saying. My daughter, my husband and I are learning about life together. It's one way to go, but who can say it's the right way, or the only way, or the best way.

Girl, enjoy your 20s, and when that baby comes, you'll know first hand exactly what I'm rmabling about (LOL).


Miss. Mocha

[splendor]

Wow!!! I thought it was just me. I've been crying for days and I can't sleep at night. My boyfriend is acting like he's falling out of love with me. I can't seem to keep his attention lately. I don't know what to do either. I know this may seem dumb, but I was praying that he was the one. The bad thing is that I really don't have anyone to talk to. Well I do, but I don't want to bother people with my problems.

All I can say is that I will continue to pray and I will do the same for the other ladies who are feeling like me.

[Discogoddess]

Y'all! Calm down! Ain't nobody an old maid at 25, 26, 29...40! When you are in your groove, things may fall in place (in terms of choosing, not finding a husband), but being anxious won't help a thing. I got married at 29 1/2 years, but believe me, if it hadn't felt right, I would have been more than happy to wait until it was, either with him or someone else. Rejoice in your freedom and concentrate on being your best self...

[ManndingoNUPE]

Splendor,

Never feel as if you are bothering folks with your problems. A true friend would always listen, and they may need you sometime in the future.

If you ever need a brother's perspective please feel free to contact me.

manndingo2@yahoo.com

Take Care and Best of wishes

MN

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by toocute:

And Convinced...girl you're only twenty five! I got married when I was 28! :-)

I am twenty eight!
BUT, I do have a significant other!

[MIDWESTDIVA]

Splendor's post has really shocked me. I just had to post on this thread again. I would like to experience marriage at some point in my life, but I also have a clear understanding that marriage isn't the end all be all. If it is, why do 50% of marriages end in divorce? The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. So in the meantime, I will just enjoy the single life.

[Convinced]

Splendor:

Girl, I feel you! I prayed to God that my boyfriend a couple of years ago was the one, and I asked God that if he wasn't the one, please show me a sign. A couple of weeks later, I saw him leaving the hotel with my best friend's sister. I do know that God answers prayers. I guess he is getting tired of my messed up prayers, because after that happened, I prayed that I never, ever wanted to love anyone that hard again... I don't want to be in a love that is so strong, it becomes dangerous. (After he left, girl I looked like walking death...I dropped like 10 pounds in two weeks from not eating) I guess we all have to just have faith. I want SOMEONE, just not the wrong SOMEONE. I do feel like an old maid though!

[sphinxpoet]

Convinced,

I know you asked for sorors and sisterfriends but I could not sit here and see my soror cry pink and green tears! Soror take it from a not married 25 BA having, community service oriented,Novel Reading, serious relationship, ordained minster of his church, making over 50K brother....dating is rough and finding a soul mate is tougher! Many women are not into marriage and a lot of brothers make it harder....but think of it as getting into AKA........You must go through these experinces so when you do find that right man you know what he is and that is exactly waht you want.

From the SPhinxpoet
"Just Bring It!"

[toocute]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Eclipse:
[B] I always say I am glad we did not get married earlier 'cause I would either be a divorcee or a widow by now!!

I hear ya on that one. We graduated in '91 and folks were like when are y'all getting married? We had to get the career thang and the money thang tight before marriage. We were not mentally or finacially ready RIGHT out of college.