To Wait or Not To Wait: That is the Question

[jdrama]

My cousin got married at the courthouse and then had the 'reception' at my grandma's house. All we did was eat, talk, and play spades like every other family function except we bought some gifts. If they waited a year later, it would've been a baby shower. lol

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by jdrama

My cousin got married at the courthouse and then had the 'reception' at my grandma's house. All we did was eat, talk, and play spades like every other family function except we bought some gifts. If they waited a year later, it would've been a baby shower. lol

If you got married but didn't have a wedding and you want to celebrate your marriage a year later, cool. But call it an anniversary party/celebration or something. It's not a wedding. Don't get me started on registering for gifts for it. My mom was invited to the "wedding" of one of her friend's kids last year. They had been married for TWO years already, owned a home, had a KID, and registered for gifts. Seriously? You have been married 2 years already. No gifts for you. lol.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

If you got married but didn't have a wedding and you want to celebrate your marriage a year later, cool. But call it an anniversary party/celebration or something. It's not a wedding. Don't get me started on registering for gifts for it. My mom was invited to the "wedding" of one of her friend's kids last year. They had been married for TWO years already, owned a home, had a KID, and registered for gifts. Seriously? You have been married 2 years already. No gifts for you. lol.

This is a trend right now, it seems. Most of the time, it's military couples who need to get married soonish for benefits or power of attorney. I understand the quick wedding for practical purposes. One of my girlfriends married her guy (they already have a kid), and they were supposed to just do the JOP thing with immediate family and have a larger ceremony/reception for everyone else later on. Well, the JOP thing grew into a huge deal with photographers, a custom-made dress, and an announcement in the NY Times. That's great and I'm happy for them, but then they still want to do the big friends event--on a holiday weekend. WTF? You can't have it both ways. Granted, I know people who were already planning the wedding when things changed quickly and they needed to get married legally right away. I understand those circumstances a little bit more.

I think it comes down to people thinking that they're "entitled" to a big wedding even when they can't swing it for very practical reasons. There's no requirement for a fancy wedding.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

This is a trend right now, it seems. Most of the time, it's military couples who need to get married soonish for benefits or power of attorney. I understand the quick wedding for practical purposes. One of my girlfriends married her guy (they already have a kid), and they were supposed to just do the JOP thing with immediate family and have a larger ceremony/reception for everyone else later on. Well, the JOP thing grew into a huge deal with photographers, a custom-made dress, and an announcement in the NY Times. That's great and I'm happy for them, but then they still want to do the big friends event--on a holiday weekend. WTF? You can't have it both ways. Granted, I know people who were already planning the wedding when things changed quickly and they needed to get married legally right away. I understand those circumstances a little bit more.

I think it comes down to people thinking that they're "entitled" to a big wedding even when they can't swing it for very practical reasons. There's no requirement for a fancy wedding.

Seems like you could do that sort of thing without even telling people, which is probably what I'd do in that situation. At this point, the only reason I'd ever get married is health insurance so I don't think I'd even tell people I got married if I did.

[Todd Bridges]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Seems like you could do that sort of thing without even telling people, which is probably what I'd do in that situation. At this point, the only reason I'd ever get married is health insurance so I don't think I'd even tell people I got married if I did.

That doesn't make any sense. Health insurance? So you would use the dude for health insurance?

[AGDee]

I said I can't promise "Til death do us part" and be taken seriously because I've broken those vows twice. I know exactly what I want, but you don't understand that two people can be together in a committed relationship without the legal ties of marriage.

I am NOT pissed off about being alone. I don't know where you're getting that from at all. I said I would rather be alone than be with the right person. I have a happy, fun, fulfilling life and don't need a relationship to make my life complete. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't welcome one with someone who fit what I'd want in a partner. Do you get that a person can be happy alone AND happy in a relationship if one came along?

Marriage is just a legal thing. It doesn't have anything to do with commitment or caring or love, in my eyes. It's just a legal contract. I know a lot of people who have been together for 10 or 15 years without getting married and I think that's great at this age.

ETA: And why are you so hung up on Hockey Dad? I've been over that for a couple months now.

[DrPhil]

Hockey Dad, do you really give shit? And what's up with you typing "kiddo" to people?

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Hockey Dad

I think you've really been pretty screwed up by that hockey douche and your previous marriage. I get the whole "I'm afraid of marriage" type of thing, but you really gotta get out of that mode unless you just want to have fun. Who said you had to even get serious with anyone?

This is where YOU brought him up. I'm not whining about not having somebody. I do whine about first dates.. I hate them. The user name made me laugh. Believe it or not, I'm not one of the people here who reports you or hates you. I think you're funny. But, you don't know me at all. I was married for a long time to my second husband and dated him for a long time before we got married, so saying I'm not a long term chick is funny. I'm looking for long term without marriage, which is what I've said all along. And yes, I actively communicate with a variety of men through a variety of means to see if the person I would want that with is out there while still having a full, rich life with or without a partner. That isn't a contradiction.

You see things in black and white and don't seem to be able to see the gray areas in life. Most of life is gray. I love good cheesecake. I will seek out good cheesecake. I won't waste the calories eating bad cheesecake though and I won't be unhappy with my life in general if I never found a good cheesecake again. I'd just enjoy other desserts instead. If a good cheesecake gave me food poisoning, I'd be upset and disappointed and turned off from cheesecake altogether for a while. Eventually, I'd seek out some good cheesecake again.

Men are like cheesecake

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Men are like cheesecake

That whole paragraph gets a nice, big FTW.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

That whole paragraph gets a nice, big FTW.

I was thinking I might have to make that my signature.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by ShawnMack

If you love someone dont wait to save money for a wedding. Do what you can, cause you can always get remarried and then have that big wedding. ?}

This is so dumb to me. My best friend did this and, she still hasn't had the "wedding ceremony", yet. Or maybe I should say the "wedding ceremony" that she wants. I mean, just have a ceremony and be done with it. People put SO much emphasis on the "act" itself.

eta: and I just love how you used the word "remarried." I know what you meant, but do you see how silly that sounds? lol

Married vs. Ceremony: Two different things.