First signs of a bad first date

[PrettyBoy]

Is this a thread based on blind "dates" or someone you'd meet in a social setting? If I meet a young lady in a social setting, I pretty much can determine right then and there just from the conversation if there would even be a first date. So, I'll just make the assumption that it's based on a blind "date".

I don't really have a "list" of what would or wouldn't determine if there would be a 2nd date. For me, I also really don't like calling it a "date". I'd say more like hanging out, if anything. Of course the physical attraction has to be there. Other than that, I'm good, as long as she possesses the character and friendship qualities that I need in a long-term relationship. Also the spiritual commitment has to be the same, too, as well as family background, and shared values. I'll ask myself, would I pick her as a friend? If the answer is no, then there won't be a second "date".

I saw folks mentioning "interests and hobbies". For me, no, I may not have an interest in her hobbies, alone. Meaning, I wouldn't go out and enjoy those hobbies on my own, if I didn't have any interest in them. But it's not about her hobbies, for me, it's about seeing if she is a person that I would like spending time with if there were no romance at all. To me, that is the one true measure of a friend, a person with whom I like to spend time, having no regard to how we are spending it,--her hobbies or mine. Doesn't matter. The way I see it, I would want my best friends to be honest, faithful, spiritual, responsible, connecting, loving etc. So, those qualities also need to be present in her, too. If I don't see the first signs of any of this, then there won't be a 2nd date.

Everyone has got their own things they look for, but that's mine.

[dreamseeker]

PB i thought you were gonna say ugly toes

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

1. Her flatulence is louder and smellier than mine
2. Dragonbreath from Newports
10a. And is in a hoe dress

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by dreamseeker

PB i thought you were gonna say ugly toes

That's all apart of the physical attraction being there. C'mon now ds, you know pretty feet and toes are a must. She's gotta have that. Otherwise no 2nd date.

[KΣGuy316]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

That's all apart of the physical attraction being there. C'mon now ds, you know pretty feet and toes are a must. She's gotta have that. Otherwise no 2nd date.

So are you going to demand to see her feet if she's wearing closed-toed shoes? Just playing.

I've got a question for the ladies: What would you think if a guy took you on a date and it somehow came up that this was his first real date, even though he is almost 20?

Since I know you can tell from the question that that is my situation, I'll go ahead and admit it. Sure, I'm 19, just finished up freshmen year, am now a Kappa Sigma, and have many friends, both male and female, but I've never actually been on a date. Would that turn a girl off in any way, maybe making her think "Geez, this is his first date ever? What's wrong with this guy?"

[I.A.S.K.]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

7. She is checking out the waitress that you are checking out.

So, if she said "Our waitress has a nice ass" then the second date is a no-go? lol. I thought guys were cool with women being able to see beauty in other women these days. lol.

There will not be a second date if...
*We run in to one or more of your exes. You know the spots where y'all hung out. Avoid them on the first date for the sake of awkwardness. If I meet two of your exes before dinner on the first date its a no go for the second.
*You have tats on your face.
*I have more chemistry with the server than I do with you.
*I enjoyed talking to the server about the days special more than our whole date.
*You're checking out the waiter just like I am. If we can agree that Brian the server has a nice ass we wont be dating again.
*you dont like sports (or you like the RedSucks and display it. You should be in the closet if you must be a RedSucks fan).
*You dont like black women.
*You dont speak english well enough to order food.
*You cant do arithmatic well enough to calculate the tip or worse...you dont tip.
*Everything you say comes with a disclaimer "this might sound crazy but" "I know this is the first date but"
*You are missing teeth. If you're over 21 and you dont have all of your teeth (or a very good reason like I lost them fighting in Iraq) I just cant date you.
*You have kids. Or someone is currently preggers by you.
*You wear hoop earings and refuse to not wear them again.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by KΣGuy316

So are you going to demand to see her feet if she's wearing closed-toed shoes? Just playing.

I just wait until the summer when she starts wearing flip flops. Plus, I wouldn't "demand" anything from her. Her toes/feet will eventually show over time spent. If she's got hammer toe, and/or it looks like she's been kickin' flour, then "just friends" we will remain. That is what we started out as, right?

[I.A.S.K.]

Originally Posted by KΣGuy316

So are you going to demand to see her feet if she's wearing closed-toed shoes? Just playing.

I've got a question for the ladies: What would you think if a guy took you on a date and it somehow came up that this was his first real date, even though he is almost 20?

Since I know you can tell from the question that that is my situation, I'll go ahead and admit it. Sure, I'm 19, just finished up freshmen year, am now a Kappa Sigma, and have many friends, both male and female, but I've never actually been on a date. Would that turn a girl off in any way, maybe making her think "Geez, this is his first date ever? What's wrong with this guy?"

At 19 I'd think you're a "late" bloomer. 19 isnt bad 39 thats a problem. And any girl who is stupid enough to think less of you because you've never been on a date isnt worth shyt any way. She should appreciate that youre going on a date with her and shouldnt be worried about your past.

[lAZy 1]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

lol

I don't know why, but if his car is junky, we're done. And yes, no kids, just to start. Or if he talks about himself a lot.

Oh, and as for his appearance, I don't really like earrings, nose rings etc...and/or tattoos.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

When I date, I'm generally looking for a partner so if he talks about his previous "relationships" and none of them are real relationships, just short term "ins and outs"..

or the "career goal" conversation starts out like "Well, right now I'm working at Taco Bell, but I'm in school studying philosophy blah blah..."

Philosophy? Really?

or if the job before the Taco Hell one is pretty consistent with the current job, like Burger Slinger, Scrubway, etc. Basically he's not going anywhere, or really doesn't want to go anywhere.

Doesn't take my hobbies into consideration meaning he only likes talking about the things he enjoys doing and doesn't have or take an interest in my hobbies. I mean, I know my interests and hobbies are a little out there, but still...

Talks about his exes. Has a lot of exes etc...still friends with his exes...etc.

no second date, not with me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI6YWeiHEiE

[DaemonSeid]

There would be no 2nd date if our first date consisted of us going to a strip bar.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by KΣGuy316

So are you going to demand to see her feet if she's wearing closed-toed shoes? Just playing.

I've got a question for the ladies: What would you think if a guy took you on a date and it somehow came up that this was his first real date, even though he is almost 20?

Since I know you can tell from the question that that is my situation, I'll go ahead and admit it. Sure, I'm 19, just finished up freshmen year, am now a Kappa Sigma, and have many friends, both male and female, but I've never actually been on a date. Would that turn a girl off in any way, maybe making her think "Geez, this is his first date ever? What's wrong with this guy?"

I don't think, at 19, that's a big deal. However, why would you feel compelled to even tell her that on a first date? I'm a lot older than you (like old enough to be your mom), but I don't think college has changed a ton in the dating arena. Dating was different in college. It was more like hanging out. Nobody had transportation or money so "dates" didn't happen like they do when you're in high school or when you're older. It would be more like going to the bar together when half the campus was there anyway or going to the football game and tailgating with the greeks, etc. Or, just hanging out in the dorms with each other, watching a movie, playing cards, etc.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Wow, that guy deserves to be alone.

I've dated guys who would lie to me about their interest in my interests/hobbies, too. I dunno, it's just that a lot of guys that I would go out with would tell me what they thought I wanted to hear, just so I would keep dating them. They would act like they really were interested in my hobbies, when they really weren't. And they didn't have to be, but I just think that if I'm showing or taking some interest in what he enjoys, he should do the same for me, even if it's just a little, and the last thing is please don't tell me what he thinks I want to hear.


lol
What do you mean by wet mouth? That's hilarious. What is that?

eta: and I totally agree about the alcohol. I don't like a lot of swearing, either.

LOL!! umm, how do I explain it, Hmmm. Have you ever known anyone whose mouth always seemed to have a little puddle around the bottom lip? It's kind of like drool but doesn't dribble down the chin just stays around the lip. Example: Diddy looks like he has a wet mouth. OR if the corners of their mouth is always wet, I can't do it. I can't kiss someone with all that excess saliva. Swallow sometimes! UGH lol

[KΣGuy316]

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

At 19 I'd think you're a "late" bloomer. 19 isnt bad 39 thats a problem. And any girl who is stupid enough to think less of you because you've never been on a date isnt worth shyt any way. She should appreciate that youre going on a date with her and shouldnt be worried about your past.

Well I'd rather be a late bloomer than a weirdo, that's for sure.

Originally Posted by AGDee

I don't think, at 19, that's a big deal. However, why would you feel compelled to even tell her that on a first date? I'm a lot older than you (like old enough to be your mom), but I don't think college has changed a ton in the dating arena. Dating was different in college. It was more like hanging out. Nobody had transportation or money so "dates" didn't happen like they do when you're in high school or when you're older. It would be more like going to the bar together when half the campus was there anyway or going to the football game and tailgating with the greeks, etc. Or, just hanging out in the dorms with each other, watching a movie, playing cards, etc.

I understand what you're saying, but where I go to school, there isn't exactly much to do in-town other than go eat at a restaurant. I'm not saying I would bring it up by myself, just more of a "if it happened to come up", but I'm sure I'd be steering away from questions about previous dating anyway just because it seems like the polite thing to do. No one wants to talk about their previous dates (unless you've got some revelation about something) because they're on a date with you, and that's all that matters at that point in time.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by agzg

For me, "no goes" would be acting too forward (one guy tried to kiss me about 15 minutes in), talking about having children (with me) on the first date, talking shit about job, ex girlfriend, traffic, anything really.

Spending too much time looking at other people. Answering the phone within the first 15 minutes.

Not sharing plans ahead of time or asking what type of things I would like to do on a date.

Taking me to a seafood restaurant after not sharing plans ahead of time or asking what type of things I would like to do on a date. If he had, he would have known that I was allergic to shellfish and would be petrified to even try ANYTHING at the restaurant for fear that it was prepared in the same pan as the fried shrimp 5 minutes before.



Not referring to businesses by their actual name. This really bugs me a lot, especially when it's in a diminutive tone.

I'm not looking for a professional history on a first date. If I ask what you do, I expect to hear about your CURRENT job. This is a DATE, not an interview!

YES!

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

golddigger.

LOL

I'm not saying I'm a golddigger, BUT.... LOL