First signs of a bad first date

[cheerfulgreek]

When I date, I'm generally looking for a partner so if he talks about his previous "relationships" and none of them are real relationships, just short term "ins and outs"..

or the "career goal" conversation starts out like "Well, right now I'm working at Taco Bell, but I'm in school studying philosophy blah blah..."

Philosophy? Really?

or if the job before the Taco Hell one is pretty consistent with the current job, like Burger Slinger, Scrubway, etc. Basically he's not going anywhere, or really doesn't want to go anywhere.

Doesn't take my hobbies into consideration meaning he only likes talking about the things he enjoys doing and doesn't have or take an interest in my hobbies. I mean, I know my interests and hobbies are a little out there, but still...

Talks about his exes. Has a lot of exes etc...still friends with his exes...etc.

no second date, not with me.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

When I date, I'm generally looking for a partner so if he talks about his previous "relationships" and none of them are real relationships, just short term "ins and outs"..

or the "career goal" conversation starts out like "Well, right now I'm working at Taco Bell, but I'm in school studying philosophy blah blah..."

Philosophy? Really?

or if the job before the Taco Hell one is pretty consistent with the current job, like Burger Slinger, Scrubway, etc. Basically he's not going anywhere, or really doesn't want to go anywhere.

Doesn't take my hobbies into consideration meaning he only likes talking about the things he enjoys doing and doesn't have or take an interest in my hobbies. I mean, I know my interests and hobbies are a little out there, but still...

Talks about his exes. Has a lot of exes etc...still friends with his exes...etc.

no second date, not with me.

YES! I had a guy that I liked hurt my feelings doing this. He told me that I was acting White and the activities that I liked were those that "White people liked to do." The fool then told me that he would refer to me as "Crystal" from that point forward. I told him to enjoy his hobbies/interests alone. That's so rude. Ugh.

[SydneyK]

To go from this (particularly the bolded)

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

"Well, right now I'm working at Taco Bell, but I'm in school studying philosophy blah blah..."

Philosophy? Really?

to this

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

doesn't have or take an interest in my hobbies. I mean, I know my interests and hobbies are a little out there, but still...

is hypocritical, don'tcha think? So, he has to like (read: appreciate the fact that you like) black holes but you don't have to like (again, read: appreciate the fact that he likes) philosophy (or whatever subject is meaningful to him)?

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

To go from this (particularly the bolded)


to this


is hypocritical, don'tcha think? So, he has to like (read: appreciate the fact that you like) black holes but you don't have to like (again, read: appreciate the fact that he likes) philosophy (or whatever subject is meaningful to him)?

And fast food as a college job is no biggie in my opinion. If he has no plans past that philosophy degree then we have issues. If he has plans for grad school, law school, or a career then that's not a red flag.

[dreamseeker]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

To go from this (particularly the bolded)

to this

is hypocritical, don'tcha think? So, he has to like (read: appreciate the fact that you like) black holes but you don't have to like (again, read: appreciate the fact that he likes) philosophy (or whatever subject is meaningful to him)?

Originally Posted by Drolefille

And fast food as a college job is no biggie in my opinion. If he has no plans past that philosophy degree then we have issues. If he has plans for grad school, law school, or a career then that's not a red flag.

it's just so funny that cheerfulgreek said that- because i clearly remember in the unemployment thread that she felt that people that were unemployed should try to get a job any damn where. because hearing that you should take a job at "scrubway" and "burger slinger" is sooo encouraging.

it's also hard to not take offense to the philosophy quote because one of my very close friends majored in philosophy in college and is doing quite well.

but, this must be another example of cg saying snotty shit then trying to pretend that she's the nicest person here on gc and is rising above us all by ignoring us calling her out. *done*

[agzg]

For me, "no goes" would be acting too forward (one guy tried to kiss me about 15 minutes in), talking about having children (with me) on the first date, talking shit about job, ex girlfriend, traffic, anything really.

Spending too much time looking at other people. Answering the phone within the first 15 minutes.

Not sharing plans ahead of time or asking what type of things I would like to do on a date.

Taking me to a seafood restaurant after not sharing plans ahead of time or asking what type of things I would like to do on a date. If he had, he would have known that I was allergic to shellfish and would be petrified to even try ANYTHING at the restaurant for fear that it was prepared in the same pan as the fried shrimp 5 minutes before.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

or if the job before the Taco Hell one is pretty consistent with the current job, like Burger Slinger, Scrubway, etc. Basically he's not going anywhere, or really doesn't want to go anywhere.

Not referring to businesses by their actual name. This really bugs me a lot, especially when it's in a diminutive tone.

I'm not looking for a professional history on a first date. If I ask what you do, I expect to hear about your CURRENT job. This is a DATE, not an interview!

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by agzg

For me, "no goes" would be acting too forward (one guy tried to kiss me about 15 minutes in), talking about having children (with me) on the first date, talking shit about job, ex girlfriend, traffic, anything really.

Spending too much time looking at other people. Answering the phone within the first 15 minutes.

Not sharing plans ahead of time or asking what type of things I would like to do on a date.

Taking me to a seafood restaurant after not sharing plans ahead of time or asking what type of things I would like to do on a date. If he had, he would have known that I was allergic to shellfish and would be petrified to even try ANYTHING at the restaurant for fear that it was prepared in the same pan as the fried shrimp 5 minutes before.



Not referring to businesses by their actual name. This really bugs me a lot, especially when it's in a diminutive tone.

I'm not looking for a professional history on a first date. If I ask what you do, I expect to hear about your CURRENT job. This is a DATE, not an interview!

YES!

[lAZy 1]

Originally Posted by agzg

I'm not looking for a professional history on a first date. If I ask what you do, I expect to hear about your CURRENT job. This is a DATE, not an interview!

If it's a date, then it's sorta an interview. If you're asking the dude questions, then that would be an interview, even if it's about his current job. If it isn't, then why would you ask him about his job in the first place?