Egg Donation - Page 4

ASUADPi · #46 02-08-2007, 12:52 AM

I've thought about donating my eggs. I guess I would be in the minority, I wouldn't want to meet the prospective parents or the child in the future. If I formed any time of relationship or attachment it would just be too hard for me. I'd want to be one of those completely anonymous donors. If the couple wanted to send me a letter saying "thank you" I would insist it go through the clinic with no last names (because then it would be too easy to try to "find them" and I again, wouldn't want to "tempt" myself).

I just feel that if I donate it has to be on those terms. I was born with all th eggs I'll ever have and I won't use half of them. Maybe I can let someone else have one to have a child. I'm not sure though. Mainly because I wouldn't want something to cause me not to be able to have children of my own in the future.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fullertongreek

On a different note, I could see a lifetime movie/soap opera story line where a family goes through egg donation, they have a kid only to have the mom fall sick and die so the father seeks out the egg donor to ensure kid has a maternal figure in his/her life, they end up falling in love and live happily ever after...

Sorry sick day in bed and in front of the tv has gotten my imagination to run wild!

LMAO. Seriously too funny! Soap Opera story waiting to happen! I can see it now... "On the next (insert soap opera name)...." LOL.

AlphaFrog · #47 10-13-2011, 08:47 AM

So, 4 years later, I signed my donor contract last night...

I do have to provide them with pics which the receiving couple would see. If I get picked, I would also have to do a psych evaluation, personality test, and the most comprehensive medical and genetic tests known to man.

Finding out three years ago that I was conceived using IVF makes me want to do this even more.

agzg · #48 10-13-2011, 09:36 AM

Good for you.

I read a study a little while ago that sperm donors actually feel "more like a father" than egg donors. I remember it said that it might have something to do with the fact that sperm donors are still doing their "full part" in terms of conception while egg donors won't be the one who is pregnant.

AlphaFrog · #49 10-13-2011, 10:49 AM

Here's something about it that sort of ruffled my feather and I'm sure will have the GC feminist panties in a twist...my husband has to sign off on this. Mine won't have a problem doing that, but really? That marriage certficate gives him that kind of control on MY eggs? The ridiculous nature of our law allows me to abort HIS baby without his say so, but I don't have full legal control of my unfertilized eggs. WTF?

agzg · #50 10-13-2011, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Here's something about it that sort of ruffled my feather and I'm sure will have the GC feminist panties in a twist...my husband has to sign off on this. Mine won't have a problem doing that, but really? That marriage certficate gives him that kind of control on MY eggs? The ridiculous nature of our law allows me to abort HIS baby without his say so, but I don't have full legal control of my unfertilized eggs. WTF?

Uh, you shouldn't have to ask him for either. That's really weird. Is that a legal thing or a thing the agency requires?

I mean, if you had kids that weren't by him he wouldn't have any legal control over him, why would this be different - you won't even have any legal control over the baby once it's born to different parents.

AlphaFrog · #51 10-13-2011, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agzg

Uh, you shouldn't have to ask him for either. That's really weird. Is that a legal thing or a thing the agency requires?

I mean, if you had kids that weren't by him he wouldn't have any legal control over him, why would this be different - you won't even have any legal control over the baby once it's born to different parents.

Since it was mentioned in the step where you have your attorney consult, I'm assuming it's a legal thing.

Low C Sharp · #52 10-13-2011, 11:07 AM

The law doesn't require this step. It has to be a policy of the agency.

agzg · #53 10-13-2011, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Since it was mentioned in the step where you have your attorney consult, I'm assuming it's a legal thing.

So what if the woman is unmarried? Do her parents have to sign off on it? Ridiculous.

"Hey dad, I need your permission to donate my eggs. Even though I don't need your permission to have a child, dig myself a whole of debt, blow myself up, etc."

AlphaFrog · #54 10-13-2011, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

The law doesn't require this step. It has to be a policy of the agency.

Source on this?

And, no, if you're 18+ and unmarried no one has to sign off.

agzg · #55 10-13-2011, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Source on this?

And, no, if you're 18+ and unmarried no one has to sign off.

The implications that women need their husband's permission to do something like this are incredibly troubling to me. I've never heard of men needing their wives' permission to donate sperm. Granted, egg donation is much more intense and requires a lot more work on the part of the donor but still.

AlphaFrog · #56 10-13-2011, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agzg

The implications that women need their husband's permission to do something like this are incredibly troubling to me. I've never heard of men needing their wives' permission to donate sperm. Granted, egg donation is much more intense and requires a lot more work on the part of the donor but still.

Yep. Like I said, my husband won't have a problem signing. His only contribution to the process is two weeks of abstinence and, like I said in the joint accounts thread, we are an "our money" household so he gets part of the benefit. Well, in actually it will probably be the NY Film Academy that gets the benefit.

Low C Sharp · #57 10-13-2011, 11:27 AM

I'm a lawyer, and I'm involved in reproductive rights work. Assisted reproduction is the Wild West as far as the law is concerned. If any state passed a law requiring married women to get their husband's permission (or even notification), the organizations I'm a member of would raise holy hell.

As it is, this would be interesting grounds for a lawsuit even though this is a matter of private contract. But if the government tried to require this? You'd see it invalidated on civil rights grounds in a heartbeat. No competent adult can be required by law to get a relative's permission to undergo a medical procedure.

AlphaFrog · #58 10-13-2011, 11:37 AM

^^^Thanks, that's what I thought. I didn't mean to question your knowledge, but if something came up and I decided to make a stink about it, I wouldn't want to say "because some random person on the internet said so". I mean, you're still technically rando person on internet, but at least you now have net-cred.

agzg · #59 10-13-2011, 11:41 AM

I'm really surprised. The only thing I can think of is that they don't want the husbands trying to lay claim after-the-fact, but that's odd to me anyway because it implies that you don't have bodily autonomy after marriage.

Low C Sharp · #60 10-13-2011, 11:47 AM

No offense taken -- there's no reason you should take my word for it! But you might search your state's code of statutes just to verify that there's no mention of this.

IMHO, the agencies are wildly overstepping their bounds by doing this, but it makes business sense. If a donor changes her mind, it costs them a lot of money. They want to select donors who are easy to deal with, stable, and predictable, not someone who's deceptive or undergoing major life changes. A married egg donor who wants to hide it from her husband -- or donate against his wishes -- is likelier to cause trouble down the road.