Depledging a "loser" sorority? - Page 4

xo_kathy · #46 10-08-2005, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tippiechick
Takes away all my sadness...some words... That's what you do.

"Ease my troubles"

Taualumna · #47 10-08-2005, 10:55 PM

Pass the popcorn and chicken wings.

The bar's also open. Anyone want anything?

jharb · #48 10-08-2005, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
I'm assuming it was a "joke," but, even if it is, PEOPLE NEED TO STOP MAKING THE AI JOKE. IT ISN'T FUNNY. IT'S EVEN LESS FUNNY THAN PRETENDING TO EAT AND DRINK WHILE WATCHING A THREAD.

Yeah, I snack while reading the boards anyway...why should it be special because someone is being an idiot on TEH INTARNETS!!!111ONE!

T, I think I love you.

Tippiechick · #49 10-08-2005, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xo_kathy
"Ease my troubles"

THANK YOU! I was really trying hard to remember what the phrase was! It was driving me crazy.

UCFStefanie · #50 10-08-2005, 11:25 PM

For clarification purposes, Yes it was sarcasm.

AXiDTrish · #51 10-09-2005, 12:17 AM

Today I went to a wedding of a chapter sister and 6 of us surrounded her and sang. While in school (recently), our chapter was the fat girls who few fraternities wanted to associate with.

Guess what? Our sisterhood was strong because we fought for every member that came through our doors, fretted over the ones who inevitably quit for their various rediculous reasons such as reputations (that we usually concocted by stupid jealous people). We always lost video night and to the "good" chapters, but the women from my chapter were/are leaders! The chapter is now thriving, huge, with no "fat" girls to be seen! The women we fought to recruit in turn kept recruiting a higher standard.

Basically, you have a choice. Do you want to be a follower and follow all those flaky girls that quit because they were too concerned about their reps? Or do you want to stay, work hard, and change your chapter alledged (sp) repuation. Chances are your chapters repuation isn't as bad overall as you are hearing about.

crunchies · #52 10-09-2005, 12:23 AM

Thank you sugar and spice for understanding my dilemma. For clarification to everyone else, I'm not looking down my nose at anyone, nor am I looking to be in a "better" house- I am just trying to figure out if being in a sorority that doesn't get a whole lot of respect from anyone on campus- neither the greeks nor nongreeks (my boyfriend of 2 yeras, a nongreek, has been making fun of me for joining a sorority at all) , is worht my money, which I must work (hard) to earn, in dues. Yes, I knew about dues before I rushed- maybe I just expected more. More parties, more time wiht my sisters. More people to meet. Probably, Greek life simply isn't for me. Also, to say that this is friendship vs. repuation and that I am shallow and care about what people think is inaccurate beucase I can't say I'm friends wiht anyone yet- the girls I knew better have already quit and I haven't had much interaction wiht the older members. If I knew the girls better and they felt like my sisters I would never have thought about depledging. I just feel like right now, I am payng money to have people from both sides look down on me and that I'm getting nothing in return.

I just read AxiDTrish's post and now am thinking maybe I just need to give it some time...it's been only a couple weeks, and I guess wiht more time I'll really get to know the girls....it WOULD be awesome to really be part of a sorority...the birthdays, the weddings that come after...

Jill1228 · #53 10-09-2005, 12:37 AM

Mr. 1228 always thinks about the Greekchatters because he just made some hot wings! (handing a wing to Taualumna)...anyone else want some? We got some honey garlic wings too

I am chilling drinking a C2 but I would love to try the diet cherry vanilla DP...pass one here please

Quote:

Originally posted by Taualumna
Pass the popcorn and chicken wings.

The bar's also open. Anyone want anything?

Peaches-n-Cream · #54 10-09-2005, 12:41 AM

I think that you should make an effort to spend time with the sisters in addition to the new members. Get to know them better by hanging out with them. If you aren't feeling the sisterhood, you can quit. Just give it some time.

Glitter650 · #55 10-09-2005, 02:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sugar and spice

You might as well stick it out until you're completely 100 percent convinced you don't want to be there. ....stay where you are and, if things don't improve, then quit -- but know that rushing again is pretty pointless.

I agree......

My problem is that she keeps mentioning the money being "worth it" . monetary issues should have NOTHING to do with your decision to stay or not to stay IMO. (unless you really are struggling to pay)

I also have to add, While the chapter should be making an effort to make you feel welcome and offer oppotunities for everyone to get to know each other, why not call up a few older sisters and have lunch, or just go shopping or something ? Talk to your big sis about everything, maybe she can tell the active sisters that there needs to be more events to get to know the new women.

James · #56 10-09-2005, 04:27 AM

ok . . I read through the posts and I see two major popints of view.

1. You should stay in your current chapter regardless of its social power because friendship is the most important thing and that friendship should transcend whether you have a good time or not.

2. You are joining an organization that has a social function and that you should quit if its actually going to limit you or hurt you socially.

Oh and there are the fixer up people . . but thats barely worth considering unless you are the type of person that owns the entire Time Life home Improvement Series.

Here is my take.

You are joining a social organziation. Its an organization where its major purpose is create social opportunities for you.

And remember, all you Politically Correct optimists out there, not all chapters on a campus are created equal. And the chapter you pick can dramatically affect your college experience. Everything from how much you party, to how many guys you get to choose from for your love interests, to even how much community service you do.

So why join an organization that limits you socially over ones that provide more opportunities?

'Cause here is the big truth, you are going to make friends in either type of chapter.

So why not try for the chapter that gives the best options and make friends there?

If you have decent social skills you will always make friends whether you join a good chapter, bad chapter, or don't join at all.

So if the chapter is going to limit you socially even more than being an independant would, don't join.

TechAPhi · #57 10-09-2005, 07:09 AM

I disagree that it's unrealistic to think one can improve a chapter's reputation. Otherwise, by that logic, these groups should fold up their tents and call it a day. Indeed, it is tough, but it *is* possible. However, most people don't care enough to work for it.

I work with a sorority at UT - Austin. I know what a competitive campus it is. I know reputations are ingrained -- and, I might add, undeserved.

I think the bottom line is: How much do you want to be Greek? How important is it to you? Ultimately, you're a sorority member for life -- not just these four years. Giving up membership means forfeiting the amazing lifetime benefits that come with it. Can you see beyond the labels -- labels that are probably untrue anyway?

I do agree that if you're going to be miserable and self-conscious because of a label affixed to this group, you should quit. However, if looking objectively at your sisters, you see the label doesn't fit; if you see that it's faulty, why not proudly don your letters and prove everyone wrong?

Call me a Pollyanna. Call me "stupid" for thinking you can make a change. Call me a naive idealist. I am not trying to be any of those things. I know where you're coming from -- I was Greek at a competitive Big 12 school. I know what it's like. I know how great houses with sweet beautiful girls can be wrongly labeled. I also know that none of these labels and other BS will matter a damn four years from now. Whatever their reputations at UT, the sororities there are wonderful national/international groups -- groups you can be proud to be a member of for the rest of your life.

#58 10-09-2005, 08:19 AM

Drop out....pledges like you are devestating to a chapter who is struggling.

kddani · #59 10-09-2005, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by crunchies
(my boyfriend of 2 yeras, a nongreek, has been making fun of me for joining a sorority at all)

Sounds like your boyfriend's a problem then. Any boyfriend, especially one who you've been with for 2 years, shouldn't make fun of you for a decision to join a sorority.

KerriMarie · #60 10-09-2005, 10:22 AM

No matter your reasons for joining, it IS hard to be a member of "that sorority" - no matter how much you may love the house. It's hard to hear people say to you "Oh, you're a Kappa? But you're not fat!" and to have girls not even give you half a chance during recruitment because the girls in their Rho Chi group say "Kappa doesn't drop anyone, why would you want to be a part of that?" It's hard and it's upsetting - even more so when you love the house and know the women in it are absolutely amazing and it's so frustrating when other people don't realize that - they just see that your chapter is smaller than the others and has members that are bigger than a size 4.

I'm just rambling... but yes. Reputations can be extremely harsh and undeserved, and people have a hard time getting past them. But the reputations can change over time, and you can either stay in the chapter and work to change the reputation, or you can drop out and help keep that reputation going. Do what you think is best.