what's the funniest thing you've ever heard a drunk person say? - Page 4

jharb · #46 11-26-2002, 02:49 PM

My best drunken story happened a few weeks ago. It was Monon Bell weekend at Wabash and my roommate and I were at the Kappa Sig house. We got there at 5 and started drinking. Around 1:30AM I come downstairs to use the bathroom and my roommate is talking to this guy on the couch. I stumble through and on my way back upstairs I run into a chair, which then runs into a lamp which runs into the wall which bounces back. They all bounce into me and I apparently started yelling at the chair to stand still because I have to get back upstairs! My roommate told me I looked like a "bobble-body" and that's now my nickname. The funniest part about this story is that I don't remember it happening, but I remember what happened later after drinking more!

I usually don't get drunk but I hadn't had much to eat that day and I was woken up with a screwdriver!

Jess

sweetie adpi · #47 12-06-2002, 09:55 PM

this was a couple years ago... one of our sisters that was dating a fiji, and they'd gotten into a fight... (which happened often, haha) she got wasted and was pissed at him, and yelled out into the street, "F*** You, Fiji's!!! I'll F*** You all!!!" ... i'm thinking what she meant was F*** you all, not I'll F*** you all.... hehehehe

Jaggergirl · #48 12-08-2002, 04:59 PM

this trashed friend of mine was once trying to argue his sobriety... "okay shuurre, I'm drunk. But this is the first time I've been drunk in forever. I'm not really a drinker. I haven't really had a drink ever... since my DUI."

Eirene_DGP · #49 12-09-2002, 08:57 AM

One time I was at Outback Steakhouse and we were sitting at a booth next to the bar. There was this guy who was highly intoxicated sitting down and he is talking really loud. So finally he says, "Do yall wanna hear about the first time I had sex?" Everyone in the restaurant is sitting in suspense after he said the key word. So finally he says, "The first time I had sex I was by myself."

Now everytime I want a good laugh I think about what he said.

AOX81 · #50 12-09-2002, 09:06 AM

"Later on I'll be puking like a bulemic teenager"

SATX*APhi · #51 05-01-2003, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KappaTarzan

another good drunk quote was last year when my sorority was walking over to a fraternity house wearing only trash bags.. as we walked over the police pulled up. my big, being the fun drunk she is, said "there is nothing going on hear, officer, proooceed proooooooceed" and he actually left. hahahaha...

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! This is sooo funny!!

LeslieAGD · #52 05-01-2003, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sweetie adpi
this was a couple years ago... one of our sisters that was dating a fiji, and they'd gotten into a fight... (which happened often, haha) she got wasted and was pissed at him, and yelled out into the street, "F*** You, Fiji's!!! I'll F*** You all!!!" ... i'm thinking what she meant was F*** you all, not I'll F*** you all.... hehehehe

How big was his chapter?

Just kidding!

LXAAlum · #53 05-01-2003, 05:16 PM

The only story I can remember that isn't too gross to share in a public forum:

I'm the new chapter advisor witnessing this chapter's initiation party (mid 90's - WAY OUT OF CONTROL). My wife and I are both having a pretty good time, we've had a few beers, and we're buzzing fairly well. So, we are sitting alone in a brothers room and kissing. That's all.

I didn't really notice at the time, but, apparently, one of the newly initiated brothers had staggered by the door to the room we were in, several times. In his unbelievably inebrieated state, he goes to find the chapter president, and inform him of a brewing scandal, because the chapter advisor was upstairs "getting it on" with some random girl.

My wife and I are met in the room by the chapter president, what's left of his date, and several other hysterical brothers. They even laugh harder when they realize it isn't a random girl, but my wife. One brother laughed so hard he had to pull out the trashcan in the bedroom, and, uh....evacuate some of the excess alcohol.

And, at the same party, just about an hour later....

The prez and I are trying to have some sort of conversation, but we were both pretty blasted, so I don't remember any of the topics, but, as we are talking, we hear "woooo----hoooooooo" coming from the other side of a doorway that leads upstairs.

The woo-hoo came from a brother sprinting (stumbling is more accurate) down the stairs...he then bursts through the door, and, at full speed, greets the wall in the hallway with his nose - bursting it wide open....crimson red now all over his face.

He looks at us, then realizes his condition, but manages to stammer out something to the effect of "that was awesome, I didn't even feel it!"...We then mention it might be a good time for him to cool it and get some sleep (and Tylenol)...so, being a new brother, and wanting to impress us, he took our advice and passed out on the floor at our feet.

What a night.

AlphaGamDiva · #54 05-01-2003, 05:27 PM

it was one of my sister's b-days, and she was coming back from the bar....the door swung open, she stumbled in, and i was like, "whoooooa, tiff.....", and while she's attempting to get up off the floor and trying to find whoever said "whoooooooa, tiff", she slurs, "nooo...but i only had one shot a que-tee-la!" i about DIED!!

i guess she forgot about those 800 beers...

LXAAlum · #55 05-01-2003, 05:33 PM

Alpha Gam - you're going to MEPS and then the National Guard? I peeked at your website - which is very cool!

Good for you! From a vet to a soon-to-serve!

AlphaGamDiva · #56 05-01-2003, 05:40 PM

thanks, LXAAlum......it's been a process, but i'm all about it!

one of my sisters grads from basic may 9th....and then another one of my sisters grad from marine basic apr 11th....myself and ANOTHER one of my sisters are planning on being in basic together......it'll be a party!

LXAAlum · #57 05-01-2003, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AlphaGamDiva
....myself and ANOTHER one of my sisters are planning on being in basic together......it'll be a party!

Ummmmmm. OK. Keep telling yourself that.

By no means can basic be thought of as a party - think of it as you're-worst-hell-week-nightmare-imagineable-coming-true, but lasts for ten weeks! - though once it's finally over...you can blow off steam.

Just be quiet, do as your told, and have this goal: graduate from boot camp without the drill seargeant remembering your name.

Best of luck.

AlphaGamDiva · #58 05-01-2003, 05:48 PM

oh no....i use the word "party" in a wishful-thinking tone...i know it will be no fun........no fun at all. but i am more than ready to go do this.

and EVERYone tells me to make it through without my drill sgt knowing my name....hmm....do ppl think i'm gonna cause a scene?

thanks for the advice!!!!!

LXAAlum · #59 05-01-2003, 06:14 PM

Not cause a scene, but, if the drill sarge (or company commander in my case) remembers your name, it means you took extra effort on his/her part, which is never a good thing, unless you like verbal abuse and pushups.

14 years ago was boot for me, and I can still remember the names that my CC would call out daily:

"Puckett (an airhead), Fountain (an arrogant kid who always tried to find a way around the rules, but ALWAYS got caught), Stone (Overweight and lazy - perfect personality for his name)...Humphrey (the lights were on, but he was never home), you ain't NEVER gonna impress me!" (imagine being said by a very short, VERY angry Filipino - my CC, MMC(SW) "Mad Dog" Mirador)

If it wasn't so said and miserable for those guys, it was almost comical to hear each day, but then, we got "mashed" (exercised) for their mistakes, so there wasn't much laughter.

Forgetting your name means you were a good recruit.

MSSTCY1 · #60 05-01-2003, 08:51 PM

A couple years ago, before I was a veteran drinker, I went out and got completely smashed. My friends carried me back to my dorm room and threw me on my bed. I immediately started puking into the trash can. My roomate told me to get up and go to the bathroom but I refused, I just put my head farther into the trash can and continued puking. They tried to take the trash can away from me ( thinking I would go and puke in the bathroom) but I refused to let go of it. When one of them tried again to pull it away from me, I yelled, "no, don't take my trash can, I love the trash can, I'm going to make love to the trash can, I'm going to have TRASH CAN BABIES."

To this day, everytime I get drunk, someone asks me if I want to go and make my trash can babies.