Dating Greek Men

[DELTABRAT]

darrel rogers:

I agree with you in the fact that upon graduation, people are less likely to be concerned with what organization one affiliates with...character of the person is usually held in higher regards than the organization. I do have to disagree however in what you said about people you work with more than likely NOT being in an organization. It all depends on where you work and in which part of the country. I CAN'T remember which thread it was, but the questions came up as to why people in BGLO's always seem to be downing people in GLO's as to the longevity (lifetime vs. college ONLY) of their Greek affiliation. Someone pointed out that while a lot of people in GLOs often state that they were an XYZ in college, people in BGLOs RARELY, if EVER state similar comments. I say this to point out that where I work, which happens to be a community based organization, EVERY person in the office (Black) is affiliated with a BGLO. On top of that, they sport gear on the regular. Maybe not head to toe like a neo, but SOMETHING ususally dons the fraternity/sorority symbols...keychain, picture in the office, license plateframe, ring, class ring, charms on necklaces (elephants, etc.), checkbook...SOMETHING.

Just a note. Not to stir up any previous "mess" from this board, just wanted to make that point...but I do feel your other points

[DIRTY-BILL CLINTON]

No problem! I was commenting more on corporate and uniformed professions. I work in an Oil and Gas company, many of the people here are in organizations but they are very conservative. That's all. Your point was valid.

Originally posted by DELTABRAT:
darrel rogers:

I agree with you in the fact that upon graduation, people are less likely to be concerned with what organization one affiliates with...character of the person is usually held in higher regards than the organization. I do have to disagree however in what you said about people you work with more than likely NOT being in an organization. It all depends on where you work and in which part of the country. I CAN'T remember which thread it was, but the questions came up as to why people in BGLO's always seem to be downing people in GLO's as to the longevity (lifetime vs. college ONLY) of their Greek affiliation. Someone pointed out that while a lot of people in GLOs often state that they were an XYZ in college, people in BGLOs RARELY, if EVER state similar comments. I say this to point out that where I work, which happens to be a community based organization, EVERY person in the office (Black) is affiliated with a BGLO. On top of that, they sport gear on the regular. Maybe not head to toe like a neo, but SOMETHING ususally dons the fraternity/sorority symbols...keychain, picture in the office, license plateframe, ring, class ring, charms on necklaces (elephants, etc.), checkbook...SOMETHING.

Just a note. Not to stir up any previous "mess" from this board, just wanted to make that point...but I do feel your other points

[angel921]

I think that it depends on the person that you are dating. Greek or Non-greek doen't matter it is all about trust and honesty!

[sigmagrrl]

I personally have found that men in fraternities do understand my love and committment to my sorority, and they can be so sexy! I love a man in a tux at a formal!!LOL !!!! But, I would never rule out dating a non Greek. I would like to marry a fraternity man though, but who knows what fate holds in store!!

[MIDWESTDIVA]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by DirectorDST99:
But if I had a choice here's the line up and in this order:

Alpha Phi Alpha
Phi Beta Sigma
GDI
Kappa Alpha Psi
Omega Psi Phi

Ooooooooh! You know you are wrong for that!


------------------
We often give our enemies the means for our own destruction.

Aesop c550 BC

[Ghostface-Killah]

Well, the good side of it is that, it feels good to date someone you can talk to about greek life. There are so many deep things to talk about regarding greek life, your process, your sands, mythology, and so on. Most of the non-greeks I have dated do not uderstand the need for road trips, the love you get from and give to greek men, and most important, how much my sorority means to me. I guess the bad side of it is that way too many people know your business (at least in the "greek world"). Greek men do not have any super power and yes, I know many of them can get overwhelmed with the attention some female give them. However, it all goes back to your own judgement when selecting partners; and as with everything else in life, there is good and there is bad. To me my partner would have to be a man first, and then a "greek man"
enough said. Hope it helps.

ONE.

Maria.
GhostFace/Not Limit Soldier
SIGMA GAMMA RHO Sorority, Inc.

[Salience]

First and foremost, I want a man who knows how to treat me correctly. But I won't go into my wish list.

I think it is extremely important that a couple have similar frames of reference in life. I would love to have a husband who's a Master Mason. Will I exclude dating men who aren't? Of course not. It would just be easier to deal with my commitments knowing he has the same commitments and understands completely.

[AlphaChiGirl]

Originally posted by AlphaChiGirl:
Eh, the only thing I can see it totally impacting is what you do as a couple. I've casually dated some Greek guys, and it seems like all we do is go to frat parties, etc., which I don't mind. So, I guess it has to do with individual comfort levels. I do know people who date ENTIRELY within NPHC groups, which is just hard for me to comprehend.

[joker]

Originally posted by TrueGreekLove:
For those of you that have dated greek men, do you find them to be any different than men who are non-greek? Is it different to date a greek man if you are greek yourself versus being a non greek dating a greek man? What are the pros and cons? I am just asking because generally I have found greek men to be very immature...and then there have been those that do a 360 on you after becoming greek and discovering that there are fraternity groupies out there...they are a completely different person after they cross!

As a Greek man, let me share a few thoughts.

1. I think men are men, there are all types inside and outside of Greek life.

2. I think it depends somewhat on which Fraternity a man belongs to. There may exist differences between BGLO's and other Fraternities; there may be differences between different BGLO's; and differences on different campuses. At my school, the Kappa's had a reputation for being ladies men who ran through many women. Of course all did not do this, but this was the reputation...it affected who pledged and what the social activities were. IMO.

3. Greek life does provide temptation. On my campus, Greeks held leadership positions. Further, we (Alphas)developed our own female auxilliaries. Not to mention that our frat was closely aligned with AKA's. Anyway, lots of women would approach us with all sorts of distractions. Anyway it becomes a test of character that brothers respond to in many ways. Some resist, some dabble, some completely lose their minds. But I think of it as a personal challenge that individuals respond to in different ways; it's not really a Greek thing.
4. Some brothers are immature, some are just dogs. Again, that's not a Greek thing.

5. The 360 is also a challenge. Some folks pledge with the full intention of doing a 360. Others change due to increased responsibility and dedication to fraternal ideals.

6. It is different when Greeks date Greeks,mostly in terms of they understand a lot about the commitments of Greek life (and I'm talking about BGLO's, I don't know much about how it is with others). Most BGLO's have some commitment to scholarship and community service. Combined with the social activities, they get to be pretty close knit groups. Some are reluctant to share or explain details of their organizational activities to independents.

Still, most folks are not Greek. So I think everyone should try to explore relationships with people they like, and not worry about the Greek thing so much. There are some bad apples, but I don't think that immaturity,360 syndrome, and submission to groupies is a Greek thing.

[MSTISHA]

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years is a member of Kappa Alpha Psi and he has been for the past 6 years. He was a NUPE when I met him and I can't change that nor do I want to. His being a Greek has not changed anything about our relationship. He is saved and I think that plays an important role in the decisions he makes. However, he was saved before he pledged so it didn't really make a difference. I just think it depends on the person. I just got lucky because I didn't have to deal with the whole pledging process and the things they go through. You can e-mail me at TISHA5707@AOL.COM if I can be of anymore help to you.

[sororitychick]

Personally I have had bad experiences dating frat guys,they seem able to commit to one girl.

[Billy Optimist]

I think girls should date greek men. Especially ones going through rush in a couple of weeks

[novella000]

Originally posted by CrimsonTail:
[B]This has been an interesting topic and must confer that whether or not a man is greek doesn't change how they are. If they were an a**hole before they became greek then they will continue to be that a**hole after. It all depends on the individual. Change for the better or the worse. Who the hell knows!!!
B]

I feel ya' Crimson... For REAL!!!
The only ones I can't stand are the haters...
GDIs that get a chip on their shoulder anytime someone 'Greek' walks into the room
OR
'Greeks' that disrespect/mistreat people who are not greek for that fact alone (I have only run into a handful of those)...

I once talked to a guy that couldn't stand the fact that I am pursuing membership in a particular Sorority.
Needless to say -- we're no longer friends.
It just depends. People vary -- but like Crimson Tail said -- if they were an a$$hole before Greek life -- they will likely maintain their a$$holishness afterward. I have met all kinds, known them before/after they crossed ...
Some are made stronger (and thus encourage me in my pursuits)... While others remain weak.


[This message has been edited by novella000 (edited January 30, 2001).]

[pixie]

I have dated several fraternity guys from several different fraternities. From my experiences with them I would say that they can be very big players. I'm not saying that all are but a lot of them have a hard time committing while they are in the fraternity atmosphere. I would simply incourage all of you to watch your back b/c they can hide it well. One example of this is...I went over to my guys house to watch a movie with him and some of his brothers. About half way through the movie this girl walks in and sits on the other side of my guy. I didn't know at the time but she was his other girl. Luckily one of his brothers was nice enough to tell me the next day. I don't think the other girl ever found out b/c they are still dating and he is probably cheating on her with some other girl now. So basically what I'm saying is just make sure you can trust them before you get in a really serious relationship!

[SilverBlueAngel]

I've dated a few non-Greeks and a few Greeks. I go to a small college so the dating scene isn't very good. The frat boys tend to be the best looking (although not always the best dating material). I'm currently engaged to my Beta boy and have found everything I'm looking for in this Greek god!