My Boyfriend's Fraternity Hates My Sorority

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

You are typing about Greek stuff. I encourage the OP to get over the Greek stuff and see whether he is an overall asshole.

Again, I think was everyone's point.

"Gentleman" is extremely subjective. Adding extra words or even a soft voice and smile does not change the point being made. It also doesn't make him a gentleman. This is all based on the OP's wording of what she claims he said.

Exactly. Remember, all we can analyze is what's been presented to us

And there's a big difference between saying, "Sorry, stuff happened a while ago and there's nothing I can do about it," and "My chapter is better than yours."

The OP can do what she wants. Perhaps he's a perfect guy in every other way, but she doesn't make it sound that way. I find that when people complain about one thing regarding their significant other to strangers online, there are much deeper issues there. Just my experience.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Again, I think was everyone's point.

Based on Greek stuff.

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

And there's a big difference between saying, "Sorry, stuff happened a while ago and there's nothing I can do about it," and "My chapter is better than yours."

I see the former as bullshit and the latter as to the point.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Uh yeah have you all never had a different social circle than your significant others?

I don't know what the OP and her boyfriend deserve but I haven't read anything in this thread that sounds like a deal breaker

Absolutely I have. In fact, I recommend it, but our dates didn't consist of solely hanging out with his social circle while he ignored me while shotgunning beers with his friends. There's his time, my time, and the all important our time. My first impression of this thread was who gives a rat's behind if your chapters are mixing, but the more she's told us about him the more he sounds like he's all about him.
YMMV.

[33girl]

Actually I have come to the conclusion that he is the guy who got Penny In Trouble in Dirty Dancing.

The things he's said would be just as douchey were "friends" or "family" substituted for "fraternity brothers." It's not a Greek thing, it's adouche thing.

[DubaiSis]

A person is rarely douchy in limited context. While no, this one scenario shouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker, my guess is it started her thinking about who this guy really is.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I see former as bullshit and the latter as to the point.

A chapter not wanting to mix with another chapter doesn't automatically = our chapter is better than yours. If this guy thinks that, then he's an idiot.

I guess we'll agree to disagree.

Originally Posted by amIblue?

Absolutely I have. In fact, I recommend it, but our dates didn't consist of solely hanging out with his social circle while he ignored me while shotgunning beers with his friends. There's his time, my time, and the all important our time. My first impression of this thread was who gives a rat's behind if your chapters are mixing, but the more she's told us about him the more he sounds like he's all about him.
YMMV.

Exactly. Dating in college doesn't have to consist of fancy dinners and expensive gifts, but a party at the fraternity house isn't a date. It's a party. I dated fraternity men while in school, and we spent time with our friends, but we also had alone time, which wasn't only in the time after a party was over.

Originally Posted by 33girl

Actually I have come to the conclusion that he is the guy who got Penny In Trouble in Dirty Dancing.

The things he's said would be just as douchey were "friends" or "family" substituted for "fraternity brothers." It's not a Greek thing, it's adouche thing.

Precisely.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

Absolutely I have. In fact, I recommend it, but our dates didn't consist of solely hanging out with his social circle while he ignored me while shotgunning beers with his friends. There's his time, my time, and the all important our time. My first impression of this thread was who gives a rat's behind if your chapters are mixing, but the more she's told us about him the more he sounds like he's all about him.
YMMV.

She also sounds all about him which is why she cared how he felt about her chapter. I don't completely blame him for that. He may be less about himself if she let him know she has better things to do. They might even have a better relationship. Show me a douchebag asshole and I will show you someone who just hasn't met the "wrong one".




/The relationship thread

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

A chapter not wanting to mix with another chapter doesn't automatically = our chapter is better than yours. If this guy thinks that, then he's an idiot.

Not automatically but it is usually around the corner. If he had broadly said they didn't want to do a social with her chapter the OP probably would've kept saying "why...why...but why...explain...we are a good chapter...tell me what happened...what's wrong."

Is he really an idiot for thinking that? LOL. GLO cultures vary but there are GLO members who believe certain chapters leave a lot to be desired. These GLO members aren't automatically idiots based on this belief.

[*winter*]

If someone thinks they are too good for my friends, that's definetly a deal breaker for me! Maybe she isn't the type of person who cares about "tiers" and doesn't want to be with someone who does. The context here is greek life but the "tier" people can be found in every walk of life.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Not automatically but it is usually around the corner. If he had broadly said they didn't want to do a social with her chapter the OP probably would've kept saying "why...why...but why...explain...we are a good chapter...tell me what happened...what's wrong."

Is he really an idiot for thinking that? LOL. GLO cultures vary but there are GLO members who believe certain chapters leave a lot to be desired. These GLO members aren't automatically idiots based on this belief.

He's not an idiot for thinking it, he's an idiot for saying it. If I say my mom is a fashion impaired fruitcake that's one thing...if my boyfriend of a few months says it that's another.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by 33girl

He's not an idiot for thinking it, he's an idiot for saying it. If I say my mom is a fashion impaired fruitcake that's one thing...if my boyfriend of a few months says it that's another.

He should've kept his thoughts to himself. That makes sense. I'm not being sarcastic.

Or he could be a "gentleman" and say "your mother is quite nice and she has a different style of dress that only lends itself to those who understand her inability to grasp fashion." I'm being sarcastic.

Winterstar, I don't know the size of the OP's chapter but unless the chapter is relatively small (like some of ours are), the OP isn't necessarily friends (beyond close acquaintances) with everyone in the chapter. Are the chapter members the OP's only friends? If the OP has other friends with whom the boyfriend gets along quite well, I see no problem with him disliking her chapter sisters. Because, again, I hope this Greek thing is only a microcosm of their relationship.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

The point is that he should be able to show some basic respect for something that is important to her. It's not different from my boyfriend finding out I love underwater basket weaving and telling me that it's dumb, instead of just asking a few polite questions and being supportive of my time spent weaving baskets.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

The point is that he should be able to show some basic respect for something that is important to her. It's not different from my boyfriend finding out I love underwater basket weaving and telling me that it's dumb, instead of just asking a few polite questions and being supportive of my time spent weaving baskets.

This.

[DrPhil]

I don't think that's the point at all. I think that's what some GCers got from the OP's story. I interpreted the story differently. Of course, neither interpretation is necessarily correct since only the OP and the boyfriend know what's going on.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I don't think that's the point at all. I think that's what some GCers got from the OP's story. I interpreted the story differently. Of course, neither interpretation is necessarily correct since only the OP and the boyfriend know what's going on.

The story kind of started out with one issue, and ended on another, probably causing most of the confusion.

And yes to the bold.