CherrySonata Fall Recruitment 2010

[bamabelle96]

Eager to hear your story!!

[CherrySonata]

Well, my story is finally, finally done, more or less. And the ending is very happy! Even if it took me forever to get here

I know everyone's probably gearing up to read all the Fall 2011 stories, but I thought I'd go ahead and post my story now that its safe for me to do so... And mention a HUGE thank you to everybody who has been patient with me while I figured out where I'm going in my Greek Life...

OK, so I'll go ahead and post a little every day. Consider it a teaser for the Fall 2011 stories, I guess? Well anyway, its a pretty long story, but in the end it has a happy ending. I made a lot of dumb decisions and mistakes, so I hope if anybody reads this in the future, they can learn from me. Please don't judge me too hard until I'm done... I know that a lot of the things I did were bad. But I've learned from them OK, so. Sit back and enjoy the show

[CherrySonata]

OK, so this story has been loooooong in coming. It is a little rocky and there are a few unexpected twists along the way, but bear with me. It has a happy ending I'm going for mostly honest, if not brutally honest... so please be gentle with me until you see the ending, I know I made a lot of bad choices along the way.
One more thing, I've decided to go with a 'gemstones' theme because I wanted to keep to a classic theme, and something that mostly everybody could follow easily.
My school has a total of 11 NPC sororities, so this shouldn't be too hard-- but feel free to ask if you get too confused I'm just going to be straight with this since it happened so long ago and let everybody know that when I created an account here and posted, (as in this account, CherrySonata), it was my second time going through recruitment. So, I am going to tell you about the first time before I tell you about the second time.

Southwesternern State School had 11 sororities, and they are as follows:


Topaz
Peridot
Tanzanite
Ruby
Sapphire
Tourmaline
Obsidian
Amethyst
Emerald
Lapis Lazuli
Garnet

Tanzanite was originally Diamond, but it was way too hard to read without highlighting. If I slip up I apologize but I think that I caught all my errors (and hopefully the colors are legible, too).



A brief history that is a little important, in high school I struggled with depression a fair bit but by the time I got to college I was doing pretty well. Although I was a very Hermione-ish type of girl, with my nose constantly in a book, almost never wearing makeup or doing my hair... maybe not the ideal candidate for a sorority. But my Freshman year, I did not know what a sorority was. I went to college without any knowledge of it. I did not have older friends or family who told me about them. I did not even know they existed. Over the course of the year, I would see the letters around campus and become curious. I finally asked my older sister about them, and she explained a little bit.

She is 2 years older than me, and had been going to my school for 2 years by the time I got there. You'd think she could have told me as an incoming freshman that I should Rush, but she didn't mention it. Ah well, it is probably for the best. I had a tough freshman year but by the time summer came I knew I wanted to go through recruitment in a few months, so I signed up. Now I should mention, at the end of Freshman year I got mono and tonsillitis, and so my grades had slipped a bit spring semester because I missed so much class. It wasn't like I had BAD grades, but they definitely weren't up to my usual standard.

My main motivation in going through despite my sophomore status was because I was very shy and introverted, and had not made many friends. I thought that joining a sorority would at least help me meet a lot more people, and that I would be able to possibly join a group and make friends. I was not set on joining a sorority, and from what I understood, I did not want to join one I was not in love with, so I wasn't obsessed with the idea of Greek Life. I still wasn't sure if it even was for me, because I thought that there would be a lot of partying, and since I didn't drink I would have to find a way to deal with that. But I lived in the dorms, so I knew I would be dealing with that anyway. At this point the only thing I knew about sororities was what my sister and the Panhellenic website said.

I didn't know anything about recommendations or dress codes or anything. I did what Panhellenic told me to, and didn't do any research on my own. I did not know that the first day I should dress slightly fancier than what they told me; I wasn't really prepared. I was the first in my family to go Greek, so I didn't really know anybody who could help me.


The first day was overwhelming, and it was just check-in and orientation. I went to bed really excited for the house visits to start the next day.

[CherrySonata]

When I woke up on Tuesday, I looked in my information book and read that I should wear 'casual, cool attire,' 'like shorts and a T-shirt.' Easy enough, I thought. So I put on shorts and a T-shirt.


We had 6 houses the first day and 5 the next, so I went to my group and immediately felt like an idiot. Nobody else was wearing a T-shirt, and although there were some shorts, I felt like a sore thumb! I wanted to go put on a tank top or blouse like most of the other girls were wearing, but we had to stay there. I was extremely uncomfortable in my attire that whole day. It might have come through in my conversations. We were sitting around playing icebreakers and waiting for the day to start, and I was trying to relax. Maybe my fashion faux-pas wouldn't be a huge deal.

Finally, the time comes for our first house, Tanzanite House. So we head over, and my RC starts giving us a big speech. "These girls are so excited to meet you. They will be screaming, and dancing, and cheering. Don't be intimidated. They will all do it to you at every single house. Just smile and enjoy it." So now I'm super nervous, thinking that it is going to be like some kind of cheer camp or something (since I did Cheer for a short time in high school).

By now, pretty much everybody reading this forum has an idea of how it works, so I'm not going to wax poetic on how shocked I was at this whole process. I will say that the energy level was extremely intense. Tanzanite House happened to be one of the loudest of the houses that day, I think, so it was a little overwhelming to get them first. Once I realized the screaming wasn't about to go away, and neither was the jumping, I did try to enjoy it.

Anyway, so we're in Tanzanite House and I remember being so impressed with the inside of the house, thinking it was really nice. (This was my first real chance to see a chapter house, and it was a really good first impression.) I had a great conversation, I got to learn a little bit more about Greek Life and pledging, and I was feeling pretty good about everything. I remember after the major and school talk, the conversation turned to what I thought was relatively random topics, like dorm life, or Greek life in general, or what we did that summer. I remember being impressed with what the actives told me about the house's commitment to grades and studying. (A small part of me still assumed that all sorority girls were bimbos at this point, so for a house to express commitment to grades was hugely impressive to me... Later, I'd learn that most houses actually have a commitment to grades, minimum GPA, study hours, etc..) They told me about their big/little system, and then they told me a lot about house life, which was great since I didn't know much about that. The topic of Twilight came up, which (now that I look back on it) is a bad thing since I've always hated it... Nevertheless, I left feeling extremely impressed by this house.

The second house I went to was Peridot House. This house was nice and I remember my first impression of it was positive. I enjoyed my time here, and their song really stuck with me throughout the day. However, I didn't remember much about this visit later. In my book I wrote down that we had talked about a few different things, but I couldn't actually remember having this conversation. I assume I had a good time but it wasn't particularly memorable for me.

After that, we headed to Tourmaline House. I was impressed with this house from the minute we stepped in, thinking that it was cute, and when my active took me to a back room with a few other girls, I could actually hear the conversation, which was really nice, as opposed to yelling over so many other active/PNM pairs. I remember Twilight came up again. The one weird thing was that the girl I was talking to said that she never got into Twilight either, but when the next active came to bump her, she actually brought it up. "Oh, yeah, Cherry was just telling me how she doesn't like twilight. Cherry, this is my sister Nicole, and she loves Twilight." I was like, "WTF Why would you do that!" The rest of the conversation revolved around school stuff. Despite the slightly awkward conversations, I left this house with a big smile. I felt like I had at least had nonboring conversations with the girls! I was really pleased with how it had gone, overall. (I'd later realize that some of those topics might not have been entirely appropriate, but probably better than the same generic 'whats your major hows your roommate' routine.)

After lunch, my group went to Sapphire House. My biological sister had mentioned that this house was very "classy," and so I had high expectations based on that alone. I certainly wasn't disappointed. I remember that my conversations were not the best but that I thought they went nicely overall. We talked about my hometown, as one of my actives was from there too. We also talked about dorm life and life on campus, which I remember was a good conversation. All the actives I talked to were friendly and talking to them felt natural, as if I was having a conversation with friends. The topics weren't the best though... I guess overall it wasn't bad conversations, but it just didn't stand out in my mind. Still, I enjoyed myself here.

Directly after Sapphire House, my group and I headed over to Garnet House. I'd never heard much about them, and didn't know what to expect, but I was really impressed. The conversations here were generally decent, although a little bit awkward at times; once I mentioned a hobby I wanted to get into, and the active I was talking to happened to know a lot about it, so I promptly felt like an idiot since I didn't know much about it. I ended up talking about high school with some of the other actives. We had some conversation about life on campus (of course-- as it is like the most generic conversation ever, so what do you expect). I remember I had a short conversation about books with one of the girls. After this house I wasn't immediately in love, but I had enjoyed my time there nevertheless.

The last house of the day was Emerald House. As my active led me into the room, I noticed that the supposed ambient lighting was just dim lighting, and I immediately felt that this house was creepy. But before I wrote this house off entirely, I talked to the actives, and ended up really falling in love, thanks to the following conversation:

Active: "So, you do Creative Writing, thats cool. Do you have any hobbies?"

Me: "It kind of goes with my major but I love reading."

Her: "Oh, cool! What do you read?"

Me: "I read all sorts of things. I like Harry Potter. But Twilight..."

Her: "Oh, I read Twilight. I was not impressed with it."

YES! That was epic and awesome! We also had the same conversation about campus life, and I had a chance to learn more about sorority life, so in the end I was loving this house without thinking that it was only 1 girl in the house I had just happened to be matched up to who didn't like Twilight either. It was a really good feeling, and a great note to finish the first day on. I went home, unpacked some more, and got into bed later than I probably should have.

[CherrySonata]

If you go to a house, you could say, 'My conversation didn't go so well. The girl seemed very uninterested.' And probably if you talk to a girl who seems rather snide, rude, judgmental, fake, etc, you would feel the same. But if you take into account that this is just 1 girl, and the chapter is bound to have lots of types of girls in it (especially in chapters of 100+ girls), then what are you 'supposed' to judge on? If you end up cutting a house that you feel less comfortable in, it is still a judgment based on just a few girls at most, and you might be missing out on something. Likewise, you end up liking a chapter based on just a few girls. (And this all assumes that the chapter is big and that you'd end up fitting in at any of them, which in some cases I think really is true.) It just makes decisions difficult. Obviously if one house has a reputation for being "the party house" and the other ones don't, and I didn't want to be in a party house, I could say no way to that house, but in chapters this size there's obviously gonna be all types of people in all the houses... So I am now feeling clueless/naïve again. I guess I talked myself in circles

And more food for thought: Do you start looking for girls who are a lot like you, or girls who are a lot like who you want to be? *I know there was a thread sort of addressing this, I just thought I'd bring it up again*


Day 2 of Set 1 was more or less the same. I would say I felt a bit better, now that I had a general idea of what to expect. I also had the chance to see what other girls were wearing the first day, and realized that nobody else was wearing a T-shirt, so I put on a tank top instead. I think that I felt like I fit in a little more, and it might have even helped my confidence. I can't honestly say for sure, but I think it did.

Obsidian House was the first house on the list for today, and I had heard a lot of tent talk about this house, although I heard a lot of good things too-- attitudes seemed to be mixed. I was trying so hard to go in with an open mind because I didn't want the tent talk to influence me. The beginning of the conversation was great, I was having a great conversation with my active about high school and my hometown, I get bumped once or twice, and all is good. I honestly was enjoying myself. Then at the next bump, the active who comes over to me brings her PNM with her, and we have a weird 4-way conversation, which just confused me. I was glad to leave, and later I felt bad because I had truly enjoyed myself before that. I left this house been uncertain of what to think; I'd really enjoyed the house, before the "mingling" thing, but that had left me feeling awkward and uncertain about how I could fit in if I couldn't have a normal conversation with the actives. I was a bit confused about this house, but I couldn't forget that most of the visit had been incredibly natural-feeling to me, and I had had a good time.

Anyway, after Obsidian House was done, we headed to Amethyst House. This house (the building) is huge, and I also knew some of the girls from around campus, so I figured going into the house that either way they couldn't be too bad. I ended up being double-rushed and that really put me off of the whole house; at the time I did not know that it was normal to have that happen, and it was pretty upsetting, because I thought that they didn't think I was important enough to have a one-on-one conversation with. My partner ended up more or less dominating the conversation, and I would occasionally add input but I just felt left out totally. All of the girls who talked to us were very enthusiastic about their house and sisterhood, so overall, I wasn't impressed with this house but I didn't hate them either. Knowing what I know now about double rushing, I probably would have enjoyed them more.

I still left the house feeling awkward, as that whole double-rushing thing really confused me. But the next house was like the House I Had Been Waiting For. This was Ruby House. I got to sit in one of the side rooms again, like at Tourmaline House earlier. I thought it was nice because I didn't have to yell, etc. Whatever. All great. Then I talked to the actives, and I fell in love. This was the first house where I felt instantly 100% that I would fit in; I had a great conversation with my first active about movies and campus and classes. Pretty generic conversation but it was so natural, it felt like talking to an old friend. The next active was really where I felt like I could be myself. We had the most random conversation about dentists, but it was just as natural as if I was talking to one of my high school friends. I got a few questions about sorority life answered, too. By the time I had to go, I was totally impressed with the natural and down-to-earth attitudes of the girls I had talked to, and at how easily I had felt at home. This house was instantly my favorite.

After Ruby House, we had lunch, and after lunch was Topaz House. I was really happy to find that I enjoyed myself at this house as well. Their song was so cute, and my first impression was positive. The entire atmosphere of this house was really great. I had a funny talk with one of the girls about textbooks, and I had a chance to get more of my questions answered.With another active, I talked about school stuff, and it felt just like talking about an annoying professor with someone I'd had a class with. I asked about the diversity in Greek Life and in the house and got a good answer. Overall, this house had a very friendly vibe and I really enjoyed them; I felt once again like I could fit in well. They made me feel very welcome too. I left this house feeling extremely positive.

The last house of the day and of the set, then, was Lapis Lazuli House. I fully admit that I did not like this house in large part because I was just ready to be done. I was feeling impatient and that was a mistake. Overall, I felt somewhat neutral, but I was tired. The conversation had potential, if I wanted to put more in, but the truth is, and it is one of my big mistakes, I let myself get burnt out before this. I would go back and re-do this house if I could... it was one of my worst mistakes. You may end up really loving your last house, or even getting a bid there, if you treat it just like other houses. Anyway, the conversation started off great and we were talking about my favorite TV show. But my active literally wouldn't talk about anything else! When someone came to bump her, she said, "Oh, hey Chelsea, this is Cherry, and we were just talking about her favorite show..." I cannot remember talking about anything else. At any rate, I left feeling confused and like they had not gotten to know me at all. Ultimately, now I was relieved to be done.

At this time, my group had a free period before rankings. I ran to the bathroom, and here's where I made perhaps the biggest mistake of my recruitment career. I heard some of the other girls in the bathroom talking about how much they didn't like some houses or how much they did want to be in other ones, and I managed to convince myself that I shared their opinions. This was awful and always, always, always something I will really regret. I thought I was above letting other people influence my opinions but it happened anyway, without me even realizing it at the time. I will throw in one more word of caution to PNMs: Don't engage in tent talk. The point of recruitment is to find the house that is right for you, not the house that other people think is awesome or the house nobody likes. Just don't do the tent talk thing. I would have been happier about my choices if I hadn't convinced myself that what someone else thought about the houses was what I thought about the houses.

Then it came time to think, and think, and rank. So I knew for sure about 5 or so of my #1s. I was torn a bit over my bottom few 1s and the 2, 3, and 4. In the end, I ranked Obsidian House as a 4 because, although I'd had some great conversations there, I'd overheard that they were not a "cool" house, and that managed to convince me that they didn't really fit me, either. That was a very shallow reason and truth be told, if I had not let my opinions be influenced by others, I probably would have put them as a 1 because, even despite the weird talking fiasco, I truly enjoyed them. I put Amethyst House in third, because I felt like being double-rushed meant they didn't like me. (At the time I did not know it was a common practice, and if I had known I probably would have ranked them higher.) I was debating between Sapphire House and Peridot House for my #2 and my bottom #1 (because the rest of my #1s were all decided). In the end, I put Sapphire House as 2. I regret it now, very much, because I honestly loved Sapphire House and I didn't have a particularly strong memory of Peridot House at all, since it felt like such a long time since I'd visited them. I just felt like I wanted to go back to try and remember, I guess. When I told my sister later she said that she thought I should have put Sapphire House as a 1 because I remembered liking them. I realized that she was right but at that point I couldn't do anything about it but wait for my callbacks.

[victoriana]

Ooooh, I'm excited to read the rest of your story

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by CherrySonata

At this time, my group had a free period before rankings. I ran to the bathroom, and here's where I made perhaps the biggest mistake of my recruitment career. I heard some of the other girls in the bathroom talking about how much they didn't like some houses or how much they did want to be in other ones, and I managed to convince myself that I shared their opinions. This was awful and always, always, always something I will really regret. I thought I was above letting other people influence my opinions but it happened anyway, without me even realizing it at the time. I will throw in one more word of caution to PNMs: Don't engage in tent talk. The point of recruitment is to find the house that is right for you, not the house that other people think is awesome or the house nobody likes. Just don't do the tent talk thing. I would have been happier about my choices if I hadn't convinced myself that what someone else thought about the houses was what I thought about the houses.

I bolded those particular sentences for a reason. I would like to engrave that in every PNM's brain. There is no bad chapter at my campus. There are only mean people who write and say hateful things. And many pnms miss out on a lifetime of Panhellenic associations for the most stupid, silly reason(s). That is sad.

[CherrySonata]

What AZTheta said.


I also want to point out that my conversations weren't necessarily stellar, if you didn't pick up on that. At the time I thought they were great but I'd later realize otherwise.

Anyway... on with the story!

Thanks, victoriana



The next morning I was too nervous to even eat breakfast. I put on a sundress since I was figuring out this dressing thing, slowly. (More like figuring out the guidebook was more casual than the actuality.) So in the time I was waiting and waiting and waiting, I decided that this was excruciating. I was more than ready for mine. I knew I could get up to 8 callbacks, and I thought I'd be happy if I had six.

I got my schedule, saw that I only had 4 callbacks, and was disappointed.

I saw that one of my callbacks was to Ruby House.

And then I was ecstatic.

I was so happy to get a callback to this house, I was just too happy to speak.

I was a little sad that Tanzanite House hadn't called me back (along with some of the other ones I had ranked #1), but I didn't care so much because I was so happy to be going back to Ruby House.

The other 3 were Peridot House, Obsidian House, and Topaz House.

I wondered why Obsidian House called me back after I ranked them last, but I didn't think much about it. I just was happy to have a callback to Ruby House. All of my parties were immediately beginning, and I had no breaks, so I'd be in a rush to get then all done and then have the rest of my day done.


It was philanthropy day, and I had Topaz House first. I loved their craft, and I had more great conversations here. I remember distinctly thinking that I enjoyed them. I thought to myself, "If Ruby House ends up dropping me, will I think about accepting a bid from this house?" I did not know for sure, but I thought that the answer was likely yes. I felt very welcome and at home here and my conversations were all natural and flowed well. I could see myself fitting in here.

After that party, I headed to Obsidian House. I remember feeling embarrassed to get an invite here because all of the girls standing outside this house were very unhappy to be here, but I knew I had enjoyed my time and was a little bit happy, secretly, to have been invited back. I am sure if I hadn't listened to other peoples' opinions, I would've been thrilled to come back here. Only one other girl I saw seemed excited to be here, though. I had a fairly typical party. The craft was pretty fun and the party passed quickly because I was enjoying myself. When we came out of a house our RCs told us to not talk and to write our thoughts down, but girls found ways around this anyway. After this party, a lot of people were whispering to each other, but I hurried off to my next party before I could hear any other gossip. I liked this house, and I felt bad because a part of me didn't want to like it. I wish I had remembered that recruitment is about me, and not about what other girls think of my options...

My third party of the day was Ruby House. Of course I loved it as much as I had the first day. I went in excited to have a callback, and during my party I felt a connection again. I loved the chance to find out more about them, and if they had any faults I didn't notice them. I was head-over-heels in love, and I knew where I wanted to pledge, nevermind the fact that this was only Set 2. I talked to one of the same girls who I had seen the day before and she remembered me. I loved their craft project, and their philanthropy was obviously very important to them. On my way out, walking through the gauntlet of cheering girls, one of the other girls I had talked to from the day before waved at me and remembered by name. I thought that this was a good sign. I basically was luminously enraptured by this house and the actives. I could see myself fitting in perfectly.

My last party was, of course, at Peridot House. I had no idea what to expect because I couldn't remember them at all. By the end of the party I felt a little weird. Unlike my other 3 house visits, I was feeling extremely lukewarm about them and maybe even that they 'weren't the house for me.' The conversations were all average but I didn't connect at all with the last girl I got. I felt like I had ranked them as a #1 so it was no surprise they called me back, but this time I felt uncomfortable there, like it just wasn't a good fit for me.


After I voted (which wasn't much of a vote because we had to rank our top 5), I met my sister for lunch and we went to get our books. I spent the rest of the day unpacking, meeting my roommate, etc.

[IrishLake]

Looking forward to the rest.

[CherrySonata]

The next day, I got up early, got dolled up, and went to get my schedule. I received 2 callbacks, to Obsidian House and to Peridot House. I was very sad when I saw that my two favorites from the previous day, Ruby House and Topaz House, had both dropped me. I wondered what I had done wrong. I finally went to talk to my RC, since my parties weren't until after lunch on this day.

She told me that today we would see some of the house's personalities in their skits. She told me to have an open mind so that I would not just be dead-set against them, and my opinion might be changed. It sounded like good advice, but I wasn't sure about trying them on to see if they truly fit. I was so upset that my 2 favorites dropped me; overlooking the fact that I had enjoyed Obsidian at all. I was more concentrated on who didn't want me than who did. All I could think about was how natural my conversations had been at Ruby House and Topaz House, how well I would have fit in with the actives there...

After talking to my RC though, I was feeling a little better than before, and at least realized if I dropped out it would be rude to both Obsidan House and Peridot House. Since they had invited me back, I felt like I should do my best to give them a shot. I looked over my options, and decided I would either pledge a house I did not love, or pledge a house with the intention of dropping before initiation if I didn't fall in love. (Taking for granted the fact that one of these houses would extend me a bid.) I could drop out and try Spring rush or next year's Formal Fall rush again. Or, I could just be done with sororities and never go greek. I knew suddenly that I couldn't not Go Greek. I HAD to be in a sorority, even if it killed me. But I knew also that I did not want to join a sorority I didn't like. I felt like rushing as a junior would be lame, even though I already knew I'd be taking an extra year to graduate so I'd basically be re-rushing as a sophomore. So then I started thinking, well yeah I could go through again next year... And then realized I should just go to my parties and see how they went.

So I went to my parties. At Obsidian House I had a really good time. I liked their skit, and found myself agreeing with what they said about their motto and symbols. I tried to be positive, and it was nice to see the house during the tour. I did have a good time, even while feeling a little bit unwanted by the two houses I had mostly wanted. In the end I liked Obsidian House a lot, but I still had a little part of my brain telling me it'd be embarrassing to join this house. I would have not had this problem if I hadn't listened to gossip. This organization's values are very close to mine and it is a really good organization.

At my party at Peridot House I did NOT have a good time. I knew by the end that I definitely didn't want to go here. I just didn't fit in with the girls, and the conversations were strained and awkward. Everywhere I looked, the other PNMs were smiling and happy to be there, but I felt extremely out of place. Overall, I just felt unhappy with this house and wished I was anywhere but here.

When I went to vote, I started thinking about the next night, Pref. I just felt like neither Obsidian nor Peridot were my actual preferences. I couldn't figure out why Ruby House had dropped me, when I had had really good conversations there, and when I was recognized by the actives I'd talked to, and when I had felt a genuine connection. I remembered I had said, at both Ruby House and Topaz House, that I mentioned how excited I was to get a callback, so I started just feeling down on myself about that, thinking it might have been overeager. I also felt like I was sure I wouldn't be pledging come Bid Day. I wondered, if I now wanted to be in a sorority more than anything in my whole life, if I'd accept a bid to a house where I felt like I didn't fit in. After all, if I wanted to be in ANY house, what luxury did I have to pick which house that was? It felt unfair to me; why were other girls in my group getting full parties with houses they loved, while I had only a few parties and my favorite houses had dropped me? I ended up having a pretty miserable evening, overall.

[CherrySonata]

I got a call at 7.30 the next morning, The Dreaded Call. I didn't feel too disappointed at first, but by that evening I felt a little more upset as the news sank in. I didn't know anyone else who had been released from the recruitment process. Why was I the loser no house wanted? I wasn't sure what to do at this point, so I just got settled in for the school year like usual.


I didn't know anything about COB or informal recruitment, so at this point it seemed to me like my time in the Greek world was done.

[FSUZeta]

oh no!

[AXOrushadvisor]

I'm thinking I know where you ended up and I'm really happy for you. Can not wait to read the rest of your story. Also glad you kept working at it. You opened a door for yourself instead of shutting it tight. Proud of you!

[victoriana]

The suspense is killing me! I wanna hear all about your happy ending

[CherrySonata]

So Sophomore year I ended up having a pretty hard time. I wasn't involved in much on campus and didn't have many friends, partnered with the feeling that none of the sororities had wanted me. Instead of joining clubs to overcome my shyness, I became obsessed with the idea of joining a sorority. In one aspect this fixation was good because it motivated me to do better. In a few other ways, it was unhealthy.

The Greek Life Office had kept my e-mail, and in the spring they mailed me about the dates of recruitment for the upcoming semester. I signed up faster than you could say "Panhellenic."

I started fixating on what I hadn't had the last time that might help me this time. I hadn't had very good grades, because of getting sick freshman year. So I worked a lot on my grades, and it paid off. I also hadn't had recommendations, and although opinions were mixed on this, I ended up working my rear end off to get as many as I could. I ended up with recs to more than half the houses. I got a haircut and manicure the week before rush, and made sure I looked presentable. Needless to say, I felt READY to take on rush week. I made 100% sure that I was keeping an open mind before the week started, and consciously tried my best to not let my previous year experience affect this year's. I was going to join a sorority if it killed me!



So I get to campus and move in. There's a few other girls in my hall who were there for recruitment, and a number of other girls in my dorm. I knew theoretically how many girls were going through, but seeing so many girls walking around really made it seem 'more real.' I kept looking at girls and wondering if they would become my sisters, then remembering I shouldn't take for granted that I'd get a bid after what happened last year.



I went to check-in the next morning, and was once again astonished at the amount of girls everywhere. It made me feel a little bad to see them all because they were almost all in groups, and I was walking alone without anyone to talk to. I wished I also had someone to talk to, and it just reminded me of how shy and alone I felt.

Check-in was easy and fast, and much better than the year before. I got assigned my PNM Number and headed for orientation. After the information session, we divided up into our rush groups. I got to know my group and there were a lot of girls in there I (maybe optimistically) thought I could get along with.There was actually a girl, "Lauren," with the same last name as me. Overall I felt really good about my group, and started thinking that maybe this week wouldn't be so bad after all.