If you go to a house, you could say, 'My conversation didn't go so well. The girl seemed very uninterested.' And probably if you talk to a girl who seems rather snide, rude, judgmental, fake, etc, you would feel the same. But if you take into account that this is just 1 girl, and the chapter is bound to have lots of types of girls in it (especially in chapters of 100+ girls), then what are you 'supposed' to judge on? If you end up cutting a house that you feel less comfortable in, it is still a judgment based on just a few girls at most, and you might be missing out on something. Likewise, you end up liking a chapter based on just a few girls. (And this all assumes that the chapter is big and that you'd end up fitting in at any of them, which in some cases I think really is true.) It just makes decisions difficult. Obviously if one house has a reputation for being "the party house" and the other ones don't, and I didn't want to be in a party house, I could say no way to that house, but in chapters this size there's obviously gonna be all types of people in all the houses... So I am now feeling clueless/naïve again. I guess I talked myself in circles
And more food for thought: Do you start looking for girls who are a lot like you, or girls who are a lot like who you want to be? *I know there was a thread sort of addressing this, I just thought I'd bring it up again*
Day 2 of Set 1 was more or less the same. I would say I felt a bit better, now that I had a general idea of what to expect. I also had the chance to see what other girls were wearing the first day, and realized that nobody else was wearing a T-shirt, so I put on a tank top instead. I think that I felt like I fit in a little more, and it might have even helped my confidence. I can't honestly say for sure, but I think it did.
Obsidian House was the first house on the list for today, and I had heard a
lot of tent talk about this house, although I heard a lot of good things too-- attitudes seemed to be mixed. I was trying so hard to go in with an open mind because I didn't want the tent talk to influence me. The beginning of the conversation was great, I was having a great conversation with my active about high school and my hometown, I get bumped once or twice, and all is good. I honestly was enjoying myself. Then at the next bump, the active who comes over to me brings her PNM with her, and we have a weird 4-way conversation, which just confused me. I was glad to leave, and later I felt bad because I had truly enjoyed myself before that. I left this house been uncertain of what to think; I'd really enjoyed the house, before the "mingling" thing, but that had left me feeling awkward and uncertain about how I could fit in if I couldn't have a normal conversation with the actives. I was a bit confused about this house, but I couldn't forget that most of the visit had been incredibly natural-feeling to me, and I had had a good time.
Anyway, after
Obsidian House was done, we headed to
Amethyst House. This house (the building) is huge, and I also knew some of the girls from around campus, so I figured going into the house that either way they couldn't be too bad. I ended up being double-rushed and that really put me off of the whole house; at the time I did not know that it was normal to have that happen, and it was pretty upsetting, because I thought that they didn't think I was important enough to have a one-on-one conversation with. My partner ended up more or less dominating the conversation, and I would occasionally add input but I just felt left out totally. All of the girls who talked to us were very enthusiastic about their house and sisterhood, so overall, I wasn't impressed with this house but I didn't hate them either. Knowing what I know now about double rushing, I probably would have enjoyed them more.
I still left the house feeling awkward, as that whole double-rushing thing really confused me. But the next house was like the House I Had Been Waiting For. This was
Ruby House. I got to sit in one of the side rooms again, like at
Tourmaline House earlier. I thought it was nice because I didn't have to yell, etc. Whatever. All great. Then I talked to the actives, and I fell in love. This was the first house where I felt instantly 100% that I would fit in; I had a great conversation with my first active about movies and campus and classes. Pretty generic conversation but it was so natural, it felt like talking to an old friend. The next active was really where I felt like I could be myself. We had the most random conversation about dentists, but it was just as natural as if I was talking to one of my high school friends. I got a few questions about sorority life answered, too. By the time I had to go, I was totally impressed with the natural and down-to-earth attitudes of the girls I had talked to, and at how easily I had felt at home. This house was instantly my favorite.
After
Ruby House, we had lunch, and after lunch was
Topaz House. I was really happy to find that I enjoyed myself at this house as well. Their song was so cute, and my first impression was positive. The entire atmosphere of this house was really great. I had a funny talk with one of the girls about textbooks, and I had a chance to get more of my questions answered.With another active, I talked about school stuff, and it felt just like talking about an annoying professor with someone I'd had a class with. I asked about the diversity in Greek Life and in the house and got a good answer. Overall, this house had a very friendly vibe and I really enjoyed them; I felt once again like I could fit in well. They made me feel very welcome too. I left this house feeling extremely positive.
The last house of the day and of the set, then, was
Lapis Lazuli House. I fully admit that I did not like this house in large part because I was just ready to be done. I was feeling impatient and that was a mistake. Overall, I felt somewhat neutral, but I was tired. The conversation had potential, if I wanted to put more in, but the truth is, and it is one of my big mistakes, I let myself get burnt out before this. I would go back and re-do this house if I could... it was one of my worst mistakes. You may end up really loving your last house, or even getting a bid there, if you treat it just like other houses. Anyway, the conversation started off great and we were talking about my favorite TV show. But my active literally wouldn't talk about anything else! When someone came to bump her, she said, "Oh, hey Chelsea, this is Cherry, and we were just talking about her favorite show..." I cannot remember talking about anything else. At any rate, I left feeling confused and like they had not gotten to know me at all. Ultimately, now I was relieved to be done.
At this time, my group had a free period before rankings. I ran to the bathroom, and here's where I made perhaps the biggest mistake of my recruitment career. I heard some of the other girls in the bathroom talking about how much they didn't like some houses or how much they did want to be in other ones, and I managed to convince myself that I shared their opinions. This was awful and always, always, always something I will really regret. I thought I was above letting other people influence my opinions but it happened anyway, without me even realizing it at the time. I will throw in one more word of caution to PNMs: Don't engage in tent talk. The point of recruitment is to find the house that is right for you, not the house that other people think is awesome or the house nobody likes. Just don't do the tent talk thing. I would have been happier about my choices if I hadn't convinced myself that what someone else thought about the houses was what I thought about the houses.
Then it came time to think, and think, and rank. So I knew for sure about 5 or so of my #1s. I was torn a bit over my bottom few 1s and the 2, 3, and 4. In the end, I ranked
Obsidian House as a 4 because, although I'd had some great conversations there, I'd overheard that they were not a "cool" house, and that managed to convince me that they didn't really fit me, either. That was a very shallow reason and truth be told, if I had not let my opinions be influenced by others, I probably would have put them as a 1 because, even despite the weird talking fiasco, I truly enjoyed them. I put
Amethyst House in third, because I felt like being double-rushed meant they didn't like me. (At the time I did not know it was a common practice, and if I had known I probably would have ranked them higher.) I was debating between
Sapphire House and
Peridot House for my #2 and my bottom #1 (because the rest of my #1s were all decided). In the end, I put
Sapphire House as 2. I regret it now, very much, because I honestly loved
Sapphire House and I didn't have a particularly strong memory of
Peridot House at all, since it felt like such a long time since I'd visited them. I just felt like I wanted to go back to try and remember, I guess. When I told my sister later she said that she thought I should have put
Sapphire House as a 1 because I remembered liking them. I realized that she was right but at that point I couldn't do anything about it but wait for my callbacks.
Hybrid Mode
